Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Waffling

Sheesh. Well gee, that last blog was sure a happy one - not. How about I try to lighten the mood a little eh? I'm pretty sure that I never know what to talk about in these things. I mean, sure... Give me a topic and I can go on forever. I can make a story that should take 2 minutes to tell, last like 20 minutes. Mind you, this is not to be annoying - I just happen to be a woman of detail. If I went bra shopping, I'm going to tell you why, what time, where, and what size and color of bras I got. Many of my friend can attest to this hard driven fact. I always wonder at which point people actually decide to tune me out and turn on auto-pilot feigned interest. Or if my stories actually are as entertaining as I put them out to be. Whatever the case, I still enjoy talking. I'll talk to myself, or whoever. But sometimes I'm just not in the mood to talk a ton - or I just flat out don't have anything exciting to say. When this occurs, people instantly conclude that I must be in a bad mood, because I'm not talking. It's rather annoying sometimes... I mean, as flattered as I am that their world has stopped spinning because I'm not rambling off random pointless stories at the speed of sound... I don't always have witty, hilarious stories. C'mon people. Gotta let the juices rest for a while. Baha. Okay, so I'm not that funny. But I can make myself laugh. Really, in the end, I think that's all that matters. Because if you can't even make yourself laugh, you have a problem my dear friend if you so naively believe that you are capable of making others chuckle. You see this, I've gone off for a whole entire paragraph and then some about my talking habits. Ridiculous. I'm telling you, it can be the most completely random subject, and I'll find something to say about it. Or if I can't talk about that exact topic, I'll find something that some how relates to the said topic, and go off on a limb. I can find a way to relate anything to anything. Anything. Go ahead. Try me. But occassionally when I'm talking, I start boring even myself. This is when I know I should stop. Kind of like right now.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Needing....

And what's even more disheartening......


Is realizing that in the end, it was actually something you truly wanted.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Wanting...

Well, here I am yet again... Slowly grasping the concept of "blogging". As I've taken a gander at some other people's blogs I've realized a couple things. A - Blogs open the door to an entirely new realm of stalking. B - Blogs need not have rhyme or reason, they just are. C - Blogs can be bland and boring, or incredibly personal. D - I enjoy reading them all the same.


So with these in mind, I now know that I can choose to either bore you with the monotonous tasks I participate in on a day to day basis, or I can pull the deepest thoughts out of my head for your reading pleasure... Perhaps even a messy combination of the two. But as I do this, I know that you as a reader have complete agency in whether you continue reading... So if ever you finish reading a post of mine and feel slightly less intelligent than when you started... Totally not my problem. ;) And with that friendly disclaimer fresh on your mind, here I go...

Usually at any given moment in my life, there is one significantly dominating thought that I toss and turn over in my mind until something more compelling comes along. My mind is hardly ever idle... Not always a good thing, not always bad. In any event, the idea that my brain cells are currently swimming around is the fact that I'm slowly realizing that I tend to go for things that, at the time being, are unattainable. It's frustrating to me really. When something is within my reach, everything is okay... My planets are aligned, and I'm content. But as soon as that thing is no longer within my grasp - I panic, and immediately begin to chase it. I don't seem to fathom whether the chase is necessary or not... My mind just subconsciously deems it something that I can't have and in return triggers some random need to pursue. I know I'm not the only one that's like that... It's a common human characteristic to want what you can't have - right? I wonder why that is how it is though. Is it possibly to give us something to work for... To develop a better understanding what's really important in life... Or maybe it's just a petty habit that we as humans need to learn to cope with. Whatever the reason... It is annoying. Not knowing whether I want something because I can't have it, or because I really actually want it... Is a discomforting feeling.

And that is my thought for Saturday. Your opinions are welcomed. If you didn't quite follow that thought process... That's okay. It's a blog, remember? :)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Lessons...

So... I started a blog, probably for none other reason than to have yet another outlet for my long rants and ravings about nothing incredibly pertinent to anyone's salvation. But nonetheless... Feel free to have a read at my random meanderings (word?) about life.


I sat here forever trying to think of something that would be good to babble about - something that immediately following people won't think, "Wow, that's 5 minutes of my life that I'll never get back." So I decided to grace you with a couple lessons I've learned throughout this year so far. Not all of them are profound, life-altering lessons. But take it or leave it.


Lesson #1: New Year's Resolutions are a good way to say, "Hmm, what do I want to do better for the first week of this year?" Who honestly is in the middle of September, and thinks to themselves, "Ah, well gee... I better go to the gym, I made a New Year Resolution!" Yeah, I don't care who you are, you aren't going to the gym because of some insignificant promise you made to yourself and the year 2008 to lose weight. Maybe there are a select few that really do work on their "resolutions". But for me... Lesson learned, I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I just try to be a better person - all the time.

Lesson #2: If things seem too good to be true, 84.9% of the time, they are.

Lesson #3: Cuddling with someone, can mean everything... Or nothing at all. Just because someone holds my hand, doesn't necessarily mean they like me. This will always and forever be a concept that I don't understand or agree with.

Lesson #4: Grandma Sycamore bread goes moldy very fast.

Lesson #5: It doesn't go moldy as fast if you keep it in your fridge.

Lesson #6: If you get fired from your job, it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes you might be lucky enough to realize that it was a blessing in disguise.

Lesson #7: I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, my Heavenly Father. I am worth something - and the Adversary is going to do anything and everything to get me to believe otherwise.

Lessong #8: I am not, nor ever will be, a long boarder.

Lesson #9: Happiness is a choice - And it's okay to be happy. I figured out that I've always been scared to be happy, because as soon as that happens, things will start getting thrown at me (figuratively, of course) that try to knock me down and get me right back into that state of misery I was in before. "Men are that they might have joy...." Men aren't that they might be stuck in a pit of never ending torment and woe.

Lesson #10: Just because people grow up, doesn't mean they have to grow apart. And even in those instances where really good friends do start to grow apart, it isn't for lack of a good friendship, it's usually because they happen to be at separate times in their lives and are making different decisions. Whether I talk to my good friends 93 times a day, or once every couple weeks... I've learned who I can trust, and who will always have a special place in my heart whether we see each other every day, or never again.



Lesson #11: Kissing, apparently doesn't always mean anything either. (See Lesson #3)

Lesson #12: If ever a tool was created to thouroughly and effectively stalk someone, it would be Facebook. And I am guilty as charged.

Lesson #13: My family has and always will love me. They are hands down, the family for me. This lesson has been reiterated so many times throughout my life. There's instances where I watch what my parents go through and have so much more respect for them than before. I watch how they struggle, and yet somehow remain happy. My family is a living testimony to me that even though the whirlwinds may be a whirlin' it's still okay to laugh and be happy. It's okay to talk about farts, sex, burps, and restroom etiquette at our dinner table. My family is my release, my haven if you will. I will never stop loving them.





Lesson #14: Insert 'friends' where 'family' is in Lesson #13.

Lesson #15: I've really found myself in this last year. I've come to grips with what my strengths and weaknesses are. And I'm not scared to hide them. Yes, I'm dramatic - I get it from my mother. If you don't like it, go find someone boring. Yes, I'm never on time. But it usually ends up being worth the wait. Yes, I'm stubborn - but it gives you something to fight for. No one is perfect. And I've just realized that becoming perfect is a process... Something we will work at little weaknesses at a time.


And that, ladies and gentleman, are 15 lessons I've learned. Not to say that's all I learned. But those are the things that I can think of for now. Perhaps I'll do some more another day when I'm too lazy to get my butt out of bed and get ready for work. Until then, all feet are the same. ;)