Tuesday, September 16, 2008

When Life Gives You Lemons....

So life gives you a lemon.... What do you do with it? Are you tired of making lemonade? Here are some potentially helpful suggestions when delt a sour one.....

When Life Gives You Lemons...

"Mail them to God and ask for apples."

There are an incredible amount of people, who are never happy with what they have. They all seem to have this ridiculous sense of entitlement, to virtually everything. It's this, or they're fine with what they have - they just want more. Give one of these people the moon and they will still be upset that it's not made of cheese afterall. I think we all have our selfish, carnal moments where we want the best... But wouldn't it be nice if we just make the damn lemonade and hope for chocolate next time?


When Life Gives You Lemons...

"Make grape juice and let the world wonder how the Hell you did it."

I particularly like this one. I'm a woman of reactions. I rather enjoy saying and doing the unexpected. Making people wonder where the heck you came from, and how on earth you come up with the things you do... Natural high my friends. If you want to be more like this, try taking off your clothes... You know, moon someone or something... But only when they least expect it. That's the key to getting reactions. So turn off that filter and get er' done. Life.. shaken, not stirred please. Ya baby!


When Life Gives You Lemons...

"You paint that shit gold."

Enter the optimists of our world. This one could probably go hand-in-hand with our original making lemonade solution, with a slightly more sarcastically determined tone. These are the people that if they rolled any more with the punches, they'd be beat to death. Drama does not phase these people, and they will do anyone and anything, to keep it as such. This is the group that I wish I belonged to. I apparently rather enjoy making things much more dramatic than they actually need to be. So this wouldn't be a matter of painting my lemon gold, it would turn into what shade of gold, and how expensive it would be to paint my lemon... And all the petty little things that people of this 'shit painting' group would not even begin to consider.


When Life Gives You Lemons...

"Throw them back and say 'Make your own damn lemonade'."

Enter pessimists of our world. These, unlike the asking for apple people, sit and complain, and do nothing to solve the problem. They have a lemon, but hell if they're gonna make lemonade... They're too pissed off that they got the lemon in the first place. Not only are they pissed off about the lemon, but they're flat out lazy. They've had everything done for them their entire life... The world has been their oyster at the snap of their finger. These people are hardly likeable... Unless they are breathtakingly attractive, or have gigantic amount of money.


When Life Gives You Lemons...

"Stuff them in your bra."

Ah, behold the improvisers. Okay sure, lemons can make lemonade... But what else are they capable of doing? These are our creative friends. They can take anything and make it useful... Maybe not always in a completely logical sense to those of us who do not stuff lemons in our underwear... But still a thoughtful solution nonetheless. These are also the money-makers in our world. They have the unique ability of taking a completely useless object, or even situation, and making it become such that people actually want more of it. It's this, or bimbo barbies that are looking for anything to enhance their sex appeal for retarded men that probably put their lemons in their pants. Take your pick. ;)


When Life Gives You Lemons...

"Find an annoying kid with a paper cut."

These are the oh-so-pleasant people who rather enjoy bringing people down to their level. If they're pissed off, everyone else needs to be too. Misery loves company - another old, yet true cliche. These people rather bother me. Okay if you're upset, vent to me... Sure, no problem. But don't expect me to make me hate my life as well. These people strike me as semi bitter towards life and the fact that "How To Make Lemonade" is not a part of their knowledge base. Perhaps the folks that paint their lemons gold should hold a seminar for these sour folks...



So there you have it. Life gives you a lemon... You can make lemonade... Or whatever. It's completely up to you what to do with your lemon. Anywhere from throwing it at someone to painting it gold... The choice is yours my friend. May your lemons be well dealt with.