Monday, December 28, 2009

Proposal: The Unabridged Version

Don't worry that I have 3 unfinished posts in my drafts folder.  I keep meaning to post some sort of update, because believe me, I have a books-worth of babble worthy material.  Sooo... Let's delve, shall we?  (Oh, though it may be a mute point by now, no Happy 7 today.  My bad.  Maybe traditions aren't my style.)

-It sort of seems like just a couple posts ago I was directing further marriage-related inquiries to Shawn.  Welp!  Turns out all his "pretending to think marriage would suck away his soul and was nothing short of Satan himself" was all just a big ploy.  Let me give you a breakdown of events:

-Every time I brought up anything remotely marriage/wedding/future related up, Shawn would, without fail, find some way to crack a joke demeaning any aspect of matrimony and subtly (or so he thought) change the subject.
-This may or may not have been highly irritating/soul crushing every single time.

-Although my dreams of wedded bliss, rainbows and unicorns seemed rather bleak - I continued to tenaciously bring up marriage whenever I felt like it.
-The above 3 bullets continued in a vicious cycle for what seemed like forever (which, in all reality, probably wasn't for that long - but for the sake of having an element of drama in my story, we'll say forever.)

-Fast forward to our trip to California (which was the weekend right after I took him to New York - more on that later).  We drove there to see a guy he had been teaching finally get baptized.  It was a wonderful experience to talk to all the people he knew in his mission and to see how much they absolutely adored him.  I loved being able to go with him and meet everyone.  Turns out 20+ hours in a car almost forces you to talk about stuff that is, well, future related.  Dun dun DUN.  I had asked him at one point if it was an "if" or a "when" we got married.  Because I got kind of sick of constantly saying, "Well if Shawn and I get married..."  He just made a joke at the time... But we were driving home from the baptism and he looks at me and says, "It's not an if."  Hearing that was the absolute most wonderful thing ever.  So naturally we start talking about what we want our wedding to be like and all that fun stuff on the way home.  At one point Shawn said, "Well gosh, I figured out how to keep you awake, I just have to keep talking about weddings."  Ding ding ding. 
-Apparently he'd been wanting to talk about weddings and stuff for a while, he just didn't want to yet because, and I quote, "I hate when people go around telling everyone they're getting married when the dude hasn't even proposed yet."  Understandable, I guess.  So this + me refusing to get married in winter + both of us agreeing that we don't want a long engagement = him trying to avoid the topic of marriage.  Complicated, right? 
-He still didn't want me really announcing to the entire world that we were planning on getting married until he actually proposed.  Hardest. Secret. Ever.  
-We finally took the plunge and visited our friends in the diamond business, Shane Company.  I've never felt so incredibly picky and annoying in my entire life.  There is an butt load of rings in that place.  I found myself feeling bad saying I didn't like the ones the chick would pull out and show me.  But I'm allowed to be picky, right?  At least that's what Shawn told me - and he was buying the ring - so I wasn't about to argue.  I finally narrowed it down to 2 rings that, if he gave me either, I would've been perfectly happy with.  Though one, I liked slightly better.  The girl absolutely loved said ring and this other dude said it was his favorite ring in the entire store when I asked him about both of them.  Perhaps they say that about all their rings, I have no idea. 
-Anyways, we went to some stores in the mall and found that nothing really compared and I was pretty happy with what we had found at Shane Company.

-So now I'm all antsy as all get up to get my ring when one day Shawn tells me that there's a couple in his ward who has a diamond business in their basement.  Supposedly they had a small shop that their son was now running in Las Vegas.  So he goes on to tell me that they have a few rings to look at in their basement and a catalog full of other rings.  A catalog.  He then told me that he found pretty much the exact same ring for a way better deal - and instead of free cleanings, we'd have to pay for cleanings and instead of a lifetime warranty, there would be a 5 year warranty.  I asked him how old these people are, he told me they were 70.  I am beyond ashamed to admit this, but I had a complete mental breakdown.  "You mean you found a ring that is 'pretty much' like my ring?  You mean that we have to pay to get my ring re-plated and cleaned?  Every time?  You mean you got my ring out of a catalog?!  You mean that the people you're buying my ring from might kick the bucket before my warranty even expires?!"  Yeah, I'm that bitchy guys.  Needless to say the next morning I felt awful about it - I apologized and said he could give me a ring from a Cracker Jack box for all I cared, I just wanted to be with him.  It occurs to me that when I'm expecting something, and it doesn't happen, I sort of... well... freak out. 
-So now I'm totally okay with my catalog ring, which according to Shawn, will be done on December 30th.  He said he told me so that way I wouldn't always be expecting something - because I was suspicious of virtually everything he did.  Way to take the fun out of a surprise Chels, right?  At one point I had even gone as far as to ask Darin if he knew when Shawn was going to give me my ring - which Shawn interpreted me as trying to "trick Darin into telling me" which is not what I was trying to do.  But he got all "upset" with me and said "You know Chels, it's a good thing I'm not lying to you, or this would be really hard."  So at that point, I totally believe everything he has told me thus far - and the prying halts.
-December 19th 2009 (after having gone wedding dress shopping - eeee - more on that later), Shawn has a totally awesome date planned.  Keeping in mind that I have absolutely no notion of any ulterior motives Shawn might have, as he takes me on awesome dates like this frequently.  I had kept bringing up the fact that a professional massage sounds oh-so-good in the past - and turns out nagging and persistence paid off this time.  He took me to Massage Envy for two awesome full-body, hour long massages.  Then we went to Texas Roadhouse for a late lunch/dinner.  I, by the way, love Texas Roadhouse.  I feel like a fat arse every time I walk out of there, but meh, it's some dang good grub.  (We actually ended up leaving our leftovers in our boxes on the table - which made me sad.)  Anyways, we were going to meet Darin and his date and Shawn's brother and sister in law at 5 to go sledding.  It was about 4, so we went and hung out with my family for a little bit.  Then we started driving up towards the capitol, where Darin had supposedly found a super awesome sledding spot.  Shawn had all the sledding stuff in the back seat.  On our way up, Shawn calls Darin on his big car speaker system thinger and Darin says that he's running about a half hour late because his date hadn't shown up yet.  So Shawn calls his brother, who is already there (because it's like 5:10 at this point) and tells him Darin is running late, and because Darin has all the sleds, Devin (Shawn's brother) suggests that since we're up by Ensign Peak we may as well go up there and check it out while we wait for Darin.  Since they were already there, they said they'd meet us at the top.  Keeping in mind, I still am like duhr dee hur... we're going to Ensign Peak... still oblivious. (Side note: Ensign Peak has significant meaning to Shawn and I back from our days in high school... We would go there all the time to watch the sun set.)  So we finally get there and Shawn gives me a super awesome pea coat that I've been wanting forever (as much as I love my bright blue Laco ski coat) and we start trudging up the snowy freezing cold mountain.  Needless to say I made comments about the fact that we were hiking in the dead of winter, and that it was freezing, and that I was going to fall clean on my hind quarters.  But the cold and my fat rear aside, it was a good mini hike up there.  We got up there and I noticed that Devin and Lauren (brother and sister in law) were no where in sight, which is when I started questioning.  I was smart enough to not kill the moment and say, "So liiiiike, where is Devin and Lauren?!"  So we looked off the edge at the view, which was incredible.  It felt like we were in heaven, because of all the smog, all the clouds were on top, and the only thing you could really see in the valley was the very tippy top of the capitol.  There was even a sunset behind all of it.  Observe:



So yeah, even though smog is nasty, it looked really amazing up there.  Couldn't have asked for a better setting.  So Shawn and I are just shooting the breeze about the smog and just whatever when he looks at me and the rest goes as follows (beware of intense cheese):

Shawn:  "Chelsea, I love you." 
Chelsea: "I love you more."
Shawn:" I've always loved you."
Shawn: Getting on his knee
Chelsea: "Dude, what are you doing?"
Chelsea: Realizing I'm about to get proposed to
Shawn: "Chelsea, will you marry me?"
Chelsea: Crying
Shawn: Shows me my Shane Company ring
Chelsea:  "No."  (Sidenote:  Inside joke here.  In high school when he asked me to be his girlfriend I looked at him and said "Pfft... No!" for shear reaction's sake - but was quickly followed by a "Just kidding, of course." 
Shawn: Waiting for the real answer
Chelsea: "Yesssss!  I love you!" 

Chelsea: "I hate you!" Upon realizing just how much he had tricked me, catalog ring included.



Devin and Lauren emerge from the mountainside taking video and pictures and documenting the entire thing.  I went into way more detail than I had anticipated.  But moral of this story is that I love Shawn, I always have, and I can't hardly wait to spend the rest of all eternity with him by my side.  The date is set for April 8, 2010, in the Salt Lake City Temple - and we couldn't be more thrilled.  I promise I'll try and update more often.  If you made it to the end, congratulations, you must have a lot of time on your hands.



Monday, November 9, 2009


Guys, I lose at the Monday Happy 7.  I should be doing my math homework, when I realized I had yet again neglected my blog.

Chelsea: Ah poo, I forgot to blog again.
Shawn: Your life is so hard.

 This Monday list is brought to you by: trivial things things that make my life better/easier:

1. Bobby pins
2. Google
3. Vending machines
4. Sarcasm
5. Facebook tags
6. Lip gloss
7. Space heaters 


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hooker Bees

Um - Apparently Monday 7 is a no go this week.  Don't worry though, I've got the fun list for you today.

-Good news!  I have health and dental insurance.  Now I can embark on a journey of recklessness without worrying about having to sell my first born to pay for a doctor.

-I've probably already mentioned this, but I'll say it again.  My major is becoming rather boring to me.  That freaks me out for multiple reasons.  But I refuse to switch now because a) I've already poured thousands of dollars into this major, b) I have 2 semesters left, c) I don't know what in the hell I'd switch to.

-I ended up being a bumble bee for Halloween.  Sadly, I didn't really get many good pictures.  They're all on Shawn's phone.  But the skirt thinger was sorta short, and I wore fishnets and heels - needless to say I felt like a hooker who catered exclusively to flying insects.  Everyone was insistent that I didn't look like a skank whore - but I titled myself Hooker Bee for the entire night.  Halloween is such a classy holiday.

-Speaking of Halloween, we threw a party at Shawn's house.  Turns out I have massive panic/anxiety/crazy attacks before I throw parties.  And for no particularly good reason, at that.  My thoughts progressed as follows: "Oh hell, there is nothing to do at our 'party'"... "We don't have a playlist!"... "They only stayed for 10 minutes... My party is boring!!"... "Why the hell is everyone just sitting around?  My party fails!"... "Why can't Mormons drink alcohol?"... "There has to be someone we can get drunk at this party for entertainment purposes only."  "Oh my gosh, that bee is cuter than me!  Slut."... "Shit.  I have a quiz due in 3 hours."... So yeah, you get the drift.  I eventually drowned all my anxieties in chocolate and dancing and stopped caring if people at our party were sitting on couches picking their noses.  Overall, it turned out to be a fun time.  However, I did miss chili at my grandma's house.  *Sigh*

-I went to this website that told me sitting/resting for 7 hours a day can burn somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 calories.  Um... What?

-I got my hair done.  Eeee!  It's dark now, no more blonde. (I guess that should be kind of inherently obvious...)  Anyways - I just went to the salon my last hair person (who so graciously moved to Canada) worked at and had a random chick do it.  Why don't I take anyone's recommendations?  Simply because I'm paranoid that I might end up hating my hair and then feeling awful for not going back.  I'd prefer to go to a stranger who I can ignore without hurting anyone's feelings.  So don't get all bent out of shape if I don't go to who you suggest - it's all with good intentions, promise.  Anyways, this chick does my hair, does a good job - as well as gives me a fabulous head massage.  So I'm well pleased, thinking I may have found my next hair person until, God forbid, she decides to move to Canada.  The next day I'm doing my hair as per usual, and notice that there is a CHUNK of hair that has been LOPPED off the back of my head.  Don't worry that it's right on my cowlick (Um... I Googled that beast of a word - who knew?) so it has the potential to be very noticeable... Otherwise it thankfully blends in fairly well.  But I'm still so peeved about it.  When I discovered my missing hair I was on the phone saying something to Shawn and immediately stopped and screamed "Where the hell is my hair?!"  and promptly hung up.  He was confused, to say the least.

-So I blow a pretty chunk of change to get my hair done, why not take a trip to Asian land and get muh nails DID.  So of course I get the overly muscular Asian dude in a tight t shirt who is most definitely trying to compensate for something.  He clearly was more than thrilled to be touching my callused feet as he began telling me about how much he loathed his job at the salon.  Apparently his family owns the place, and they force him to buff feet and paint toes.  It's a hard knock life dude - now massage my legs.

-I appreciate everyone's concern for my eternal salvation.  But your guess is as good as mine when it comes to a wedding.  Please direct further inquiries to Shawn.  (Hi Shawn!)

-Um, once upon a time me and Lindsey moved a giant ass 478329473289 pound desk from my building to hers.  This consisted of trying to get the desk on the measly dolly, into the elevator, out the door, and down a block downtown.  All sorts of people asked if we needed help as we're both cussing up a storm as the desk is inches from crashing into the sidewalk.  I was more surprised to see how many people didn't ask if we needed help.  Rolling that gigantic mass of furniture over train tracks was an especially special moment in the whole ordeal.  Some toothless Mexican hobo, who didn't hardly speak a lick of English, eventually helped us the rest of the way - a very kind gesture.  I sincerely wish I could have documented the journey better.  Oh well.

-Shawn's entire family has ringworm.  Compliments of their cat.  Seeing as I spend 75% of my life over at their house, I'm just a tiny bit worried that said fungus will spread to me.  His sister has it on her butt and her face.  Please God, spare me.

-Sometimes I wonder if I'm affected by that S.A.D. disorder - it's hard for me to know when my moodiness is compliments of my completely jacked up hormones - or because mother nature sucks a big one.

-I decided I need more service in my life, so I submitted an application to volunteer at the Food Bank.  We'll see how long that lasts.  Last time I got in this phase I tried to volunteer for a hospice - visiting people that were dying.  That was just plain old depressing - so maybe Food Bank stuff will be less.... emotionally draining?

So this is kind of lame, but it's all I can think of right now.  Stay tuned.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy Monday 7

This Monday Happy 7 is brought to you by...

(Hi Love!)

7 (of many) reasons why I absolutely love and adore my Shawn
(In no particular order)

1. He deals with my PMS.  Yes, you've read my rants and raves on this here blog - multiply that by 15 and add tears, bitchiness, and irritability.  This is what Shawn deals with.  What a gem, right?

2.  He doesn't throw a tantrum if I fart in front of him.

3.  His testimony of the gospel is unshakable.  He lives it every day and makes me want to be a better person because of it.

4.  He meows like a kitty when either a) he thinks I'm mad at him, b) he's trying to cheer my up, or c) he wants to make out.  This probably sounds particularly gay if you've never experienced Shawn gone feline.  But it's quirky, and I love it.  

5.  He's the ultimate gentleman.  Still opens every single one of my doors, gives me his jacket (even though I have far more *ahem* fluff to keep my warm than he does) when I'm cold, buys me flowers for absolutely no reason - you know, the good stuff.

6.  He works hard for everything he has.  His ambition is inspiring.

7.  He loves me - and he tells me every single day.  :)

I love you! 

Saturday, October 17, 2009


I'm annoyed right now.  I feel like I need to blog, and be sarcastic and caustic about something.  Blah.

-This month is open enrollment for health insurance.  I've been looking forward to it for almost a year, because I haven't had any insurance.  Not that it's a gigantic huge deal... But it's something I'd like to have, since I don't have it through my parents.  I need to go to the cooter doctor to make sure that I'm not dying of ovarian cancer - or something.  I need to go to the dentist so my teeth don't fall out.  So I go to this meeting all stoked to hear that I'll have 20 buck copays to go to the doctor and get some cheap birth control... No no.  They changed the plan.  Now it's some weird ass Health Savings Account plan where you pay 100% with a $3,000 deductible.  Great.  Before I get too negative, there are a few okay things about it.  My company is going to contribute 60 bucks a month into the HSA, preventative services (aka my PAP SMEAR) are free, and we get contracted rates.  But that's all.  Eff.  I hate getting older and having to pay for lame insurance.  At least I have insurance now, I guess.  I even went as far as to sign up for AFLAC accident and hospital intensive care coverage.  You know, just in case I get in some sick crazy accident and am totally maimed for life.  Good salesmen get me everytime.

-Speaking of insurance, my car insurance went up 5 dollars.  Life is hard.

-There's not a mouse in my walls anymore.  There are now mice in my ceilings and in my walls.  I cringe every time I hear one scratching the inside of my wall, or running across my ceiling.  Sick.  I miss our cat.

-I went and saw The Stepfather last night.  It was an okay movie - until the ending.  Horror movies without justice do not appeal to me, at all.  One of the chicks was constantly in a bikini.  So all the boys in the audience are constantly drooling over her throughout the entire movie - and all the girls would like nothing more than to punch her in the ovaries.  Though in all fairness, Penn Badgley was in there too... and he usually gets my saliva glands going.  Hunk a burnin' love right there.

-As much as I'm on Facebook, I have many pet peeves that stem from that website.  One of the biggest ones is people who use their status to constantly put happy, "motivational", rainbow and unicorn quotes on there.  Call me a grinch, but I find it highly annoying.  Perhaps the occasional, inspired quote is fine.  But for hell sake, do not change your status to some happy-go lucky piece of crap every two hours.  If I'm hormonal or pissy, the last thing I want to see is my Facebook page plastered in happy quotes.  So there.

-I tried winning Subway Scrabble.  Shawn and I got scary close to dumpster diving for unused codes. How pathetic does one's life have to be to consider dumpster diving for a thrill?  Alas, even with all my cheating, I didn't win.  Shawn bought four drinks once, solely for the codes.  Isn't he a gem?  There are people on Ebay who sell the "rare letters".  The amusing part is, is that some of them sell the letters for more money than the actual prize is worth.  Idiots crack me up... sometimes.

-Shawn and I got offered free Thriller tickets, but couldn't go because Shawn has class on Friday nights.  Who the hell goes to school on Friday night?  I love him, but man, he's killin me.  Instead I went to Smiths, in my pajamas, and purchased a pint of ice cream.  Then, went to the library, only to find out it was closed.  It was the epitome of sad.  Though the ice cream was well worth it.

-I'm not really sure what to dress up as for Halloween.  This might have pretty much everything to do with the fact that I don't have any plans whatsoever for Halloween.  Where there are a lack of friends, there are a lack of plans.  Shawn is absolutely hell bent on being a girl for Halloween.  And he doesn't just want to pull off the, "Oh look it's a dude dressing up as a chick.... Original." guy.  He wants to legitimately look like a woman.  He wants dudes to actually check him out.  He wants to shave his legs/pits and go tanning, for a more realistic effect.  Um... What?  I'm not exactly sure how worried I should be.

-It's occurring to me that I'm not sure there's any career I want to go into with the degree I'll have next year.  I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life as far as education and a career goes.

-Writing always makes me feel better.  Whether it's a journal entry, a letter to someone, or lame ass blog post... It's therapeutic.  So if you read this, thanks for bearing with my pessimism.  I was feeling rather irritated and had to bitch about something.  I'll have a nice mood swing for you with our Happy Monday 7... Deal?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Happy Monday 7

Maybe sometime I'll try and actually post something on a day other than Monday.  For now, happiness shall have to do.  Today's post (in no particular order) is brought to you by:

7 Songs That Make My Heart Smile

Wrapped Up In You by Garth Brooks  
(This is just a happy song.  Love + Cheese = Happy) 

It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls
(Any song that allows me to sing along as if I were a big fat black sista, is golden.  Yes, 
Aretha and the Hercules muses totally fits into this category.  Ask anyone, if I could be 
reborn it would be either as a man or a big fat black woman.  I sho do love the sistas.)

Say Hey by Michael Franti & Spearhead
(See #1.  Also, see music video.  How is this NOT happy?)

Love Story Meets Viva La Vida by John Schmidt
(Dude - this is just straight up cool.  Gives me the chills listening to that kind of talent.)

Sold by John Michael Montgomery
(This song reminds me of country dancing, more specifically line dances.  I loved when 
this song would come on.  Country dancing = Happy.) 

Be Still My Soul - Church Hymn
(While there are plenty of church hymns I love and appreciate, if I had to pick my favorite, 
it would probably be this one.  Such a calming, peaceful song.)

Show Me The Money - Petey Pablo 
(This reminds me of the movie Step Up, which I love.  And it's also just an all around fun 
                                                                                         dancing song.)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

Happy Monday 7

Here are the 7 (happy) reasons my weekend was better than yours.  

1. I went shopping at Target on Friday night while Shawn was at his mission reunion.  That's what happens when I'm left alone, I spend money.  Besides, I love Target... Purchasing things from Target is like a natural high to me.  Even the smell of Target just warms my heart.  Half of the reason I went was because I was determined prove to myself that I can still fit in size 9 jeans.  (Shawn took me shopping a couple nights earlier and I ended up totally bawling in the dressing room because none of the pants were fitting... Resulting in us leaving empty handed.)

2. I totally still fit in size 9 jeans.  Suck it Kohls.  

3. I got to go on a date in my pajamas.  I would live in my pajamas if I could.  Shawn made me breakfast on Saturday morning before conference.  French toast = love.

4.  General Conference.  It always inspires me to be better - and makes me realize how much I could improve on.  I'll be the first to admit that, yes, I didn't watch all of conference, due to how stinking tired I've been.  But the talks that  I did hear were awesome.  After one of the sessions it showed President Monson waving to everyone and then pointing to a couple little kids to have them come up and talk to him.  It was adorable, and totally turned on the water works.  The Church is true folks.

5.  I actually got to attend Sunday morning of conference, and see MoTab's "Spoken Word"  right before.  The Mormon Tabernacle Choir totally gives me the chills.  I've heard it's pretty tricky to be a part of MoTab, but I'm with my mom on this one, I'd love to give it a shot someday before I die.  Oh.  And... I got to use my pink umbrella with yellow polka dots.  With the exception of a giraffe umbrella with ears, it was totally the best one there. 

6.  I got to spend some time with my family.  We got together at my aunt Laura's house and played some games that ended up being fairly amusing.  *Scattegories Person* "This is what Obama is!"  *Family members in unison* "A RETARD!"  My family is awesome.

7.  Shawn.  I had an enormous mental breakdown last night.  I was on the verge of puking, I couldn't stop sneezing, my nose was filled to the brim with buckets and buckets of eternal snot, my head was on fire, and I was just flat out emotional.  But Shawn sat and hugged me, and kissed me - even in my sickly state - until I was laughing instead of crying.  I drenched his nice shirt in snot, tears, and makeup... But he didn't let go til I wasn't crying hysterically.  I love that boy.  I love that when I sound like a wailing Indian crying my eyes out, he will meow and purr like a kitten to make me laugh.  It's beyond quirky.  But I love it, and him.  :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Happy Monday 7

Traditions are fun, right? I decided that my blog needs some of those. Not only does it need some quirky traditions, it needs a little bit of sunshine. I'm aware that a majority of my posts are dripping with sarcasm, so I am officially dubbing Monday, "Happy Monday". Every Monday I'm going to come up with 7 happy things to say - from what I'm grateful for, to YouTube videos that crack me up. Just think unicorns, puppy dogs, and kittens. You'll be pooping rainbows for days folks. (Okay, so maybe not being sarcastic will be a bit of a challenge, but it will be happy sarcasm - because of course there's such a thing.) Lets give this a whirl eh? We'll start out with the basics this week, and I'll grace you with the 7 (of the many) reasons I have to be happy (in no particular order).

1. I have a family who is genuinely concerned for my well-being and loves me exactly for who I am. I'm positive that God knew exactly what He was doing when he sent me to my family. I'm not saying that we're the perfect family, but I wouldn't trade them for any other family in the world.

2. I have a car to drive to and from work. It's my "escape pod" as my parents commonly refer to it as. I don't like being trapped places with no way out. Additionally, I don't enjoy relying on other people to get where I want to go. Thus, my car (and its 5-year warranty, might I add) is a perfect reason for me to be happy.

3. The gospel, and everything it encompasses. My Savior, my God, my church, my testimony, my patriarchal blessing, the scriptures, the temple - all things which bring me insurmountable amounts of happiness. My Lord and Savior is easily one of my very best friends. He has never, nor ever will, turn His back on me - the comfort that this gives me is indescribable.

4. Modern bathroom accouterments and facilities. I can't imagine being happy doing my business any other way. Enough said.

The internet. God bless the internet. Even for as much complete and total crap it contains, it's hard to imagine life without it. Homework. Stalking. Directions. Music. Time wasting. TV episodes. Shopping. Guys, seriously. The internet rocks.

6. My job. Sure sometimes it gets a little slow and boring, (Hi Shauna!) resulting in a ton of down time. But if and when I do get down time, I can work on homework that I would otherwise be up til the butt crack of dawn doing later that night. As hard as having a full time job while trying to go to school full time can be, I'm happy that I can say I have a job - more specifically, this job. A job that yes, can be extremely boring, irritating, or down right frustrating at times; but it's a job that I actually like and am incredibly grateful for.

7. Last but not least, my friends. While casual friends make me happy, it's the friends that know me inside and out that make me the most happy. The friends that let me be an idiot. The friends who are sad when I'm sad. The friends who want to cut anyone who hurts me. The friends who will laugh at my feeble attempts at humor. Those are the friends that I love best, they know who they are. :)

The End!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

{Insert Awesome Title Here}

Okay. So in the month that I haven't written in my blog, I was constantly saying, "Oh, I can blog about this." Go ahead and ask me if I remember any of those moments. Naturally, I do not. (One) purpose of blog = to remember said moments. Epic Fail. In no particular order, here is what I managed to come up with.

-I hate when my blog doesn't have fun pictures of ME. Sorry people.

-On Labor Day, Shawn thought it would be fun to swim. Lets be honest, he just wanted to see me in a swimsuit. But ulterior motives aside, it was... educational. I've mentioned before that I don't know how to swim. To clarify, I can swim, I just look like an idiot doing it. I don't know the special swimming techniques. So he showed them to me. The best part was learning how to dive. Never in my life have I executed a successful dive. So he started out by teaching me the way he would've taught a 5 year old... on my knees. Any normal 21 year old would just do the knee dive, right? Nope. I was absolutely sure that I would somehow manage to scrape my face alongside the pool, or that some unimaginable thing would happen as a direct effect of my dive. Well after about 7 minutes of hunching over the pool, I rolled in. I finally got the knee dive down. The only problem was that I couldn't seem to hold my breath in when I hit the water. My body panics when it's thrust into deep water - and wants air. So naturally I inhale. Needless to say, it's not an ideal technique. I still haven't mustered enough courage or faith to do a REAL dive. Though I did get to the "standing dive." Belly flops and inhaled water aside, it was awesome.

-It is now Fall. I would like Fall more if I didn't immediately associate it with the fact that Winter is coming. Winter coming means earlier mornings, freeze my ass off weather, icy roads, slower driving, no flip flop wearing, and slush is all headed my way. Mother nature sucks.

-One day I was in my room, doin' my thang, and I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Ignored it. 5 seconds later I did see something move out of the corner of my eye. I look down to a disgusting mouse running across my floor. Shreaking ensued promptly followed by yelling at my dad to get it out of my room. He set a trap with peanut butter on it (who knew?) right next to my bed. Naturally, I'm still paranoid to go in my room - because you know, mice are born killers. I finally go to bed, totally freaked out that I'm going to have mouse guts all over my face in the morning as a result from the peanut butter trap snapping. To no avail, I woke up to an empty mouse trap. My dad eventually moved it into the hall, just in case the mouse escaped. The mouse certainly escaped. Oh yes. It escaped into my wall. So now instead of going to bed in fear of mouse insides on my face, I fall rapid scratching on my walls. Throwing 5 shoes at the wall phases the mouse in no way, as the creepy horror film-esque sounds continue. There is still a mouse in my wall. Hell, there may be mice in my wall. They need to die. Because I fall asleep disgusted, every. single. night.

-To prove my undying devotion to Mr. Boyfriend, I took him to a BYU game. I, Chelsea Chamberlain, am and will forever be, a Ute fan. Born and raised. Anyways... After unloading way too much money for tickets, I was highly disappointed in BYU's performance. Seriously BYU? Florida State? Really? Shawn is unduly determined to "convert" me to BYU. Baby you're awesome, but not that awesome. I even purchased and wore a BYU shirt. Sorry Utah.

-After the BYU game, I had dubbed Shawn the planner of part 2 of the date. So we head out with Shawn's brother Devin and his wife Lauren on a long and windy trip to Deer Creek. (Which Shawn pronounces 'Crick'... This irritates me right down to the core folks.) Anyways - after destroying some bathrooms (compliments of aforementioned long and windy road) we get there around 10ish or so and Devin and Shawn pull out some cardstock paper and posters and tell us we're going to be making origami boats! Totally awesome. We put them in the water and then, using flashlights as spotlights, threw rocks at each other's boats in an attempt to sink them. Twas the best version of battleship I've ever played. Try it. I dare you.

-I went to a company picnic several weeks back. Won 100 bucks and had my boss ask me if I was high. Good times, right?

-My SHOWS are back on again! Can I get a hell yeah for season premiers?! Bad news though. I have way too many shows to keep up with now. Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Heroes, and the newest addition, How I Met Your Mother. Crap guys. Guess which night they are all on? MONDAY. DVR can only take me so far people. Good thing I'm awesome and know exactly where to find them on the internet.

-I decided to take the plunge back into the student wards. Family wards are great and all, but I just don't get as much as I get in the student wards out of it. The lessons and comments and whatever all are a bit more geared to where I'm at in life. This means no more Sunbeams, I feel like I might go to Hell for saying I'm pretty pleased about it, so I'll just say.... nothing. Sunbeams did teach me one thing: I'll never go into early childhood education as previously pondered.

-Speaking of school - it's going okay. I'm over at Shawn's doing homework every night of my life. Amazing thing is, we really do do (do do... Baha... Friends reference) our homework. His living room wreaks of him and I in there for hours on end. I wish I found school more enjoyable, I really do. Oh well. You win some and ya lose some eh?

-A few weeks back, Shawn called me at work and asked what I was doing for lunch. I didn't have any plans so he said he wanted to make me lunch. When I drive home for lunch I only have about 25 minutes-ish to eat. So I drive over to Shawn's house and he has a table set for us and made sandwiches and fruit and Lunchables (Side note: Lunchables are the bomb.) It was the cutest thing ever. He gave me a massage and a rose. I sat amidst the awesomeness that is my boyfriend, trying to think of what he was sucking up for - only to realize that he was doing it because he's wonderful. I sorta like that kid.

-My coworker and I just discovered that there are Rules on the back of Burger King's crowns. I officially dub it the best game ever. Rule #2 is my personal favorite: "The King always gets his/her way." If you're wearing the crown, you get pretty much whatever you want. Awesome game, right? Date idea? I think so.

-I found this video the other day... And really just needed to share. My ovaries kick me when I see this. So cute and amusing.

The End.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Blogging Paradox

Can someone tell me why whenever I decide I'm going to write in my journal or blog more frequently... I do the exact opposite?

Monday, August 24, 2009

A Prosaic Mind

Note: This post is marginally boring. I won't be offended if you don't read. I promise. However, if you do read and don't comment - that's a different story.

So I'm becoming increasingly aware at just how awful my memory is. So my blogging may become a bit more frequent - as this is currently the only means of logging my life. I'd sort of like to remember stuff, trivial or unimportant as it may be.

-Turns out I survived Shawn being gone for t minus 3 days. Turns out he almost didn't survive being gone. Apparently him and Darin fell down a mountain followed by huge boulders - and somehow miraculously stopped before they hit a cliff. Boys can be such idiots sometimes. I know that I'm a pansy and all - but I highly doubt the likelihood that I would ever even put myself at risk for falling off a mountain. But like I said, I'm a huge pansy - so uh, maybe I'm the one with the problem? Anyways - needless to say that as thrilled as I was to hear that they about plummeted to their death off a mountain, I was even more thrilled for them to come home alive. :)

-1 bad parking job + 1 cement pillar + bad depth perception = $500+ paint job to fix measly scratches = Cars are great. Mine currently shakes when I press on my brakes occasionally. All I have to say is whatever is wrong with it so better be under warranty still.

-Um. My fruit snacks got stuck in the vending machine again. My hip check tactic so did not work this time. Luckily for me, a very, very large man walked in as I was kicking the machine and grabbed the top of the huge machine and completely tipped it over. I was halfway surprised that everything didn't fall out of the machine at once. After the large man shook the machine a couple times - VOILA - I had breakfast #2 of the day.

-I missed the temple dedication on Sunday. I was up early, ready to go. Only to quickly find out that my recommend/ticket wasn't with the rest of my family's. It had been there the night before. But not when I need it, naturally. Needless to say I was tearing the house apart trying to find it. Emptying the contents of my purse out all over the living room, chucking things across rooms, lifting up rugs & cushions. Nothing. I almost considered using my sister's to get in - but then figured that was a bit much. Lying to get into a temple dedication - good idea Chelsea. I did, however, get to spend virtually the entire day with Shawn though, which I can't complain about. :) So I was a bit bummed about missing it, but I got to see the Draper Temple dedication, so all is well.

-Remember how Shawn went on a fishing trip last weekend - well naturally, he brought home a butt load of fish. So in my day spent with Shawn just guess what we did...

Ummm.... Yeah. We "de-boned" the fish. And by "we" I mean Shawn and his siblings. I did a full one fish - I was more than okay to just watch. Those things are slimy & gross. I still have yet to catch a fish of my own. Though, after hearing/seeing what has to be done to them afterwards - I'm not sure I care half as much anymore. I will still catch one before I die. Whether or not I actually keep it, is a totally separate story.

-A couple from Shawn's mission came to town because the woman's mother is getting open heart surgery (yikes!). Shawn had the privilege of helping give her a priesthood blessing on Sunday night, and I was invited to come along. (Apparently I needed to get a stamp of approval.) First of all, the lady, Anita, was the sweetest lady ever. She was so willing to accept whatever the Lord had in store for her - kind of a sad reality to have to face, but inspiring as well. Anyways, so she gets her blessing and we're all shooting the breeze for a while and the Cowperthwaites (couple from California) offered to take everyone out to dinner. We were in the Little America hotel, and they asked where some nearby restaurants were, and I told them there was some in the lobby - but they were fairly pricey. Apparently that was no problemo, as they took us to the Little America Steakhouse, where you pay a pretty penny for even just a "wedge of lettuce". That's right, at the Little America Steakhouse you can get a wedge of lettuce for $8. WTF? Sheesh. It was good food - and it was extremely nice of the couple to take care of the bill. They were fun to be around - I enjoyed their company. Our waitress wasn't all that impressive though - but I guess when you're getting tips off $200 meals, it hardly matters whether or not you have a personality.-We watched Haunting in Connecticut. Freaky show - but not too shabby. It was apparently "based on a true story". I wonder how far the story was actually stretched. *Shudder*

-Started school today. School sort of makes me want to set myself on fire. Especially when school is at 7:30am. Oh well. I hear education is a good thing. We'll see, eh?

-I can't remember if I told ya'll - but I totally started laser hair removal treatments. How awesome am I? Each treatment takes like 2 seconds. Crazy fast. It hurt a bit more than I was expecting - but not a whole lot more than tweezing. So we'll see how THAT turns out. If I like the result - you better believe I will never get a bikini wax ever again.

-As of August 15, I've officially worked at my job for 1 full year. Go me! (And in t minus a month and some days, I can enroll for INSURANCE. Hip hip hooray for open enrollment!)

That's about all I've got for now - PEACE.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Self Vanity

I'm baaaack. These bullets go in no kind of chronological order - just with the flow of my brain. There's also a lack of pictures - So accept my apologies in advance for the self vanity below.

-Yes, my blog is under construction. I got bored.

-I keep thinking to myself that I want to blog - than subsequently think of 800 different things I want to say in my blog, all totally and completely random. Naturally by the time I do blog, I remember nothing. How unfortunate for you and I, right?

-Shawn's gone fishing this weekend. Even though he'll be back on Saturday or Sunday - I'm still going to miss him. Pathetic? Maybe. Do I care what you think? Nope.

-The whole family on my dad's sad + Shawn went to Bear Lake last weekend and stayed in a gigantic cabin. It pretty much rained and was freezing all weekend - so we didn't get to do much boating, which was sort of a bummer - but it was still fun. (I, once again, didn't take pictures - OOPS!) I drove a jet ski for the first time and about crapped my pants. Let me remind you that deep dark water scares the hell out of me... So this wasn't as fun as it probably should have been for me. I pretty much would go fast for about 7 seconds then stop because I thought we would somehow tip over because I'm a spastic driver. So I drove for maybe 3 minutes and made Shawn get back in front. He got a little cocky after a while and started hitting huge wakes and turning really sharp. I can imagine that my girly high-pitched screams in the back seat only egged him on further. Had I fallen off while he was driving - Shawn would probably not be alive right now. Luckily, he knows what's best for him.

-I bought Claudia Schiffer work out videos on for $3. They're so old school, they're not even on DVD. I don't even care. I'm going to get Claudia Schiffer abs. You'll see.

(Hell yes. Note: I say that in the most straight way possible.)

-I rode an elevator at work with a man (not going to my same floor) that returned the next day with the following note:

:) You caught my eye and I thought
you might like it if we stayed in touch.


P.S. Do you like Latin dancing?

Walter! How did you know?! He had to have seen that desperate longing gleam in my eyes in the dim elevator lighting - the gleam that told him I just had to see him again. As if it was an act of service on his part - "I thought you might like it" - I must have been emanating my "hot and bothered by 30+ year old Latin men" vibe. Or not. Flattering as it was, it was mostly just awkward. Especially when 10 minutes later I go downstairs to get the mail and he is just sitting in the lobby still. Supposedly waiting for an appointment on another floor.... Right. Nice dude - but he should pick on someone his own age I'm thinking.

-School starts next week. So. not. thrilled. I've got a statistics class Monday-Thursday at 7:30am and 3 online classes. *Whine* At least I don't have evening classes - with maybe the exception of an institute class.

-I caught the bouquet at a wedding reception a few nights ago. I was trying not to catch it. Ironically enough it landed right in front of my feet. I stared at it for a little bit - noticed no one else was moving - and ever so slowly bent down and picked it up. Even though it's just a silly romanticized tradition - I'm sure Shawn crapped a brick.

-One time - whilst waiting for the man I call boyfriend to call me - I got really bored. So bored that I started putting on clothes that would make any fashion guru break out in a cold sweat - in the worst way. Not only that, but I took a whole slew of pictures of myself - something I rarely do when I'm alone. But because I know you're just dying to see said pictures - I will share a couple with you. Because they're mildly amusing. And if you don't think so - take a happy pill and try again. (Ps - unfortunately for you, the pictures are pre-dress up, and all of my face - try not to be too thrilled.)

(Shining example of why people are proud to call me friend.)

(Sometimes I try to be pretty.)

I hit the epitome of all boredom - and took pictures of a sneeze - frame by frame.

Welcome to the life of a bored Chelsea.

-I pretty much think is hilarious. Just my kind of humor. Is that sad?

-I can not stand girls who call me by pet names. Babe & hun are at the top of my hitlist. Do not call me these unless you are in an exclusive romantic relationship with me.

-I don't know what to do with myself this weekend. I feel marginally friendless without Shawn around. Good thing I've got myself a FAMILY.

-A girl at work showed me this blog: Basically it's pretty much depressing - but inspiring at the same time. This lady got in an "almost fatal" plane crash and it totally warped everything on her body. I can't even imagine. Makes me all sorts of grateful that I have what I have and can do what I can do.

-Today my fruit snacks got stuck in the vending machine - again. Normally I would just huff and stomp away. Not this time. The vending machine would not get the best of me. I was hungry dammit and so help me, I would get those fruit snacks if it was the last thing I did. It being a fairly large vending machine I could think of no other way than hip checking it numerous times. 6 or 7 hip checks later: success. I got my awesome fruit snacks that were promptly snarfed down practically before I got back up to my floor. Anxious much Chels?

I can seriously think of nothing else marginally intelligent to post at the moment. But I will be back. Hopefully sooner than later. Because I know you'll miss me - and my awesome blogging skills.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

You'd Be Annoyed Too

I'm annoyed. For absolutely no good reasons at all. Observe:

-I find myself looking at the Spanx website.
-I don't have insurance - I do not have $300 to pay the bajingo doctor and the dentist.
-I can't keep my room clean.
-The vending machine in the basement won't take my damn quarters. I just want some mother loving STARBURSTS!
-Ever since the half marathon, the arch on my foot is driving me crazy.
-I hate the gym - but feel it necessary to go because of my weight.
-Speaking of my weight - I'm at the top end scale of my BMI - granted it's still healthy, but hell, what if I want some Starbursts every once in a while? OH WAIT! The cursed vending machine took care of that for me.
-I'm not athletic - nor will I ever be.
-Listening to people complain all. the. time. is annoying.
-I just complained about people that complain.
-The eczema on my arms refuses to go away.
-It's Tuesday.

Perhaps Wednesday will bring some pleasantries.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

13.1 Miles Later...

So I know you're all just dying to know about the adventures of Bryce Canyon. So let me just give you a little chronological run down of events.

-Day before we are supposed to leave, Katie gets kidney stones. She's puked a good 10 times and will clearly not be attending Bryce with us. So, because all our other friends apparently had better things to do, this left Shawn and I alone. We would've just gone, except I think our families think we would've had crazy sex all weekend long or something. So after trying virtually everyone that we'd be able to stand coming with us, my mom suggests that my whole family (minus Christian and Alyssa who were on Pioneer Trek) come with Shawn and I. They were so excited to come... that they even rented a van.

-After having about 784 mental breakdowns... I I finally composed myself enough to get in the van and start our 4 hour journey to Bryce. (We tacked on a good hour to said journey because my GPS challenged father didn't understand what Maggie (my GPS) was telling him... He'd get off the freeway at totally random exits "because Maggie TOLD HIM TO!" I'm surprised Maggie lasted the entire trip without getting hucked out a window.)

1. Shawn looks like he's handicapped at random intervals in this clip. 2. My bangs look all sorts of special at the end. 3. I'm not real sure why it goes all dark at the end. Deal.

-Shawn + Chelsea + Back seat = 5 hours of snuggling. Or, if you're my 8 year old sister, 5 hours of "love making".

I don't know how much more creepily excited a person can get.

Hooray for backseat "love making".

-After lots of sleeping, U-turns, and drool we got to Cannonville where we had to pick up our shirts and numbers. Note: We were driving on the exact route that we would be running in t-8 hours and I'm completely nervous... and mentally preparing myself to soon leave my mortal life behind.

-It's almost 10pm, and we haven't eaten any dinner at this point. So we go to this buffet restaurant that's FULL of people all sorts of accents. The buffet was 18 fricking dollars... So I just went for the Cowboy Pasta... Had sausage in it.... Mmmm.... Saaaausage. Anyways... It was good. Got my carbs.

-We then went to our hotel room. We stayed at Ruby's Inn. Nice enough hotel. Two beds - 4 adults - 2 children. Go ahead and take a guess at the sleeping arrangements. My dad wouldn't have any of Arianne sleeping in between Shawn and I... So naturally he made the arrangements of him and Shawn in a bed, my mom and I in the other, and my sisters on the floor. It's moments like these where I seem to believe that marriage is grand.

-We're all laying in the dark, and my mom deci
des she has all sorts of energy. The fact that I was trying to sleep because I had to be up in 5 hours aside, it was amusing. She turned on some little fan that she takes everywhere with her and stuck it in my face...

Me: I don't want that in my face!
Mom: *Uncontrollable laughter*
Me: ...
Mom: *More uncontrollable laughter*
Me: What on earth is so funny?
Mom: *Trying to contain herself*... "That's what SHE SAID!"

Apparently her children are rubbing off on her. Bwahaha.

-We wake up at the butt crack of dawn: 5:20am
. I'm paranoid because my running outfit totally doesn't match. You can imagine that I got made fun of for that one.

Note how ridiculously short and white Shawn makes me look.

Did I mention how bloody cold it was outside?!

-Shawn and I jog over to where the race is starting and find Kelc and company. While we're waiting for the dreaded gunshot I all of a sudden get this GIGANTIC urge to relieve my waters. I had just gone not 15 minutes ago! WTF? This is what happens when I get nervous... I have to pee. Weird? I think so. So now not only am I nervous that I'm going to die, I'm nervous that I might die in a puddle of my own urine. (Okay I'm being a bit dramatic... There were like 9 porta potties along the way.... But still.)

-6:00am... the gun shot goes off and everyone starts running. Shawn and I stayed together for, oh, 15 seconds. But take a second look at those legs of his... And now you understand why I told him to just go ahead of me. I'da been dead and gone at mile 3 if I had kept up with him.

-The first 3 miles went by fairly quick - quick for me, at least. After that... 13 miles seemed like an eternity away. All I was looking for was the orange flags that marked the next mile. They most certainly didn't come as fast as I would've hoped. The beginning of the race was super downhill, which actually made it a whole lot easier.

My world got just a smidgen better whenever I saw one of these.

-There was a moment rounding the mountain when the sun was rising... It was really beautiful. In fact, all the scenery was incredible. It's a shame that I was too focused on staying alive to enjoy it more.

The sun had already risen by this point... obviously.

-Mile 6: I did something funky to my ankle - and it did not feel pleasant.

-Mile 9: I got a blister.

-Mile 9.5: I about had 3 mental breakdowns.

-Mile 10: My parents drove by cheering... I gave them a half assed smile and did my best to not start bawling. I was hurting. A lot.

Chugging along - Note the red face and the dire attempts to not start crying

-Mile 12: I was walking by this point. A few random jogs. But I was toast.

-Mile 12.5: I see my lover walking towards me. Almost start crying again because if I run, I'll die.

-Mile 12.7: My lover makes me run because we are "almost there". That last stretch may have been one of the hardest stretches of the entire race. My legs were on fire.

Note how not thrilled I look.

-I finally reached where my family was standing and my sisters and mom started running with me and Shawn. It was super awesome!

Not the best picture - but you get the idea.

-Then I saw this and had to fight the tears... again...

-I finished about 10 minutes before the race was going to officially end. I was not running to get a good time. I was running to finish. And I did. People who didn't finish had to ride the van of shame, as I liked to refer to it as. And I'd be damned if I had to ride in that thing.

-I got my little "Finisher" medal (which, by the way, is the first medal I've ever received in my life) and a flyer for another run. PAH! Good one.

-Shawn had finished a good solid hour and a half before me. In't he cuuuute? :)

-I don't even think I need to describe how I felt when I was done. I may as well have been road kill. Observe...

-But we both finished! And I couldn't be more pleased.

-We went back to the hotel and napped, swam, and showered. Neither Shawn or I could walk like normal people. We limped. Everywhere.

-We went to a scenic overlook and took some peechers.

After this picture was taken the 8 year old says, "Hey Chels! We only have two names now, but soon we'll have THREE! Chamberlain, Heaton and MILNE!" Ah, young hearts.

-Then it was on the road again to go HOME. Shawn and I were beat, the thought of any more adventures kind of made our legs hurt... Except for one last adventure... to THE BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN. Which, might I add, was rather disappointing. But nevertheless, was also on my to-do before I die list. :)

All in all I'm glad we made the trip. It was hard... And I couldn't walk for days afterwards... But it was on my to-do before I die list... And I did it. I'm proud of myself and Shawn. I'd do it again with more training... But I hardly feel like even thinking about it at this point. :)