Thursday, July 23, 2009

13.1 Miles Later...

So I know you're all just dying to know about the adventures of Bryce Canyon. So let me just give you a little chronological run down of events.

-Day before we are supposed to leave, Katie gets kidney stones. She's puked a good 10 times and will clearly not be attending Bryce with us. So, because all our other friends apparently had better things to do, this left Shawn and I alone. We would've just gone, except I think our families think we would've had crazy sex all weekend long or something. So after trying virtually everyone that we'd be able to stand coming with us, my mom suggests that my whole family (minus Christian and Alyssa who were on Pioneer Trek) come with Shawn and I. They were so excited to come... that they even rented a van.

-After having about 784 mental breakdowns... I I finally composed myself enough to get in the van and start our 4 hour journey to Bryce. (We tacked on a good hour to said journey because my GPS challenged father didn't understand what Maggie (my GPS) was telling him... He'd get off the freeway at totally random exits "because Maggie TOLD HIM TO!" I'm surprised Maggie lasted the entire trip without getting hucked out a window.)

1. Shawn looks like he's handicapped at random intervals in this clip. 2. My bangs look all sorts of special at the end. 3. I'm not real sure why it goes all dark at the end. Deal.

-Shawn + Chelsea + Back seat = 5 hours of snuggling. Or, if you're my 8 year old sister, 5 hours of "love making".

I don't know how much more creepily excited a person can get.

Hooray for backseat "love making".

-After lots of sleeping, U-turns, and drool we got to Cannonville where we had to pick up our shirts and numbers. Note: We were driving on the exact route that we would be running in t-8 hours and I'm completely nervous... and mentally preparing myself to soon leave my mortal life behind.

-It's almost 10pm, and we haven't eaten any dinner at this point. So we go to this buffet restaurant that's FULL of people all sorts of accents. The buffet was 18 fricking dollars... So I just went for the Cowboy Pasta... Had sausage in it.... Mmmm.... Saaaausage. Anyways... It was good. Got my carbs.

-We then went to our hotel room. We stayed at Ruby's Inn. Nice enough hotel. Two beds - 4 adults - 2 children. Go ahead and take a guess at the sleeping arrangements. My dad wouldn't have any of Arianne sleeping in between Shawn and I... So naturally he made the arrangements of him and Shawn in a bed, my mom and I in the other, and my sisters on the floor. It's moments like these where I seem to believe that marriage is grand.

-We're all laying in the dark, and my mom deci
des she has all sorts of energy. The fact that I was trying to sleep because I had to be up in 5 hours aside, it was amusing. She turned on some little fan that she takes everywhere with her and stuck it in my face...

Me: I don't want that in my face!
Mom: *Uncontrollable laughter*
Me: ...
Mom: *More uncontrollable laughter*
Me: What on earth is so funny?
Mom: *Trying to contain herself*... "That's what SHE SAID!"

Apparently her children are rubbing off on her. Bwahaha.

-We wake up at the butt crack of dawn: 5:20am
. I'm paranoid because my running outfit totally doesn't match. You can imagine that I got made fun of for that one.

Note how ridiculously short and white Shawn makes me look.

Did I mention how bloody cold it was outside?!

-Shawn and I jog over to where the race is starting and find Kelc and company. While we're waiting for the dreaded gunshot I all of a sudden get this GIGANTIC urge to relieve my waters. I had just gone not 15 minutes ago! WTF? This is what happens when I get nervous... I have to pee. Weird? I think so. So now not only am I nervous that I'm going to die, I'm nervous that I might die in a puddle of my own urine. (Okay I'm being a bit dramatic... There were like 9 porta potties along the way.... But still.)

-6:00am... the gun shot goes off and everyone starts running. Shawn and I stayed together for, oh, 15 seconds. But take a second look at those legs of his... And now you understand why I told him to just go ahead of me. I'da been dead and gone at mile 3 if I had kept up with him.

-The first 3 miles went by fairly quick - quick for me, at least. After that... 13 miles seemed like an eternity away. All I was looking for was the orange flags that marked the next mile. They most certainly didn't come as fast as I would've hoped. The beginning of the race was super downhill, which actually made it a whole lot easier.

My world got just a smidgen better whenever I saw one of these.

-There was a moment rounding the mountain when the sun was rising... It was really beautiful. In fact, all the scenery was incredible. It's a shame that I was too focused on staying alive to enjoy it more.

The sun had already risen by this point... obviously.

-Mile 6: I did something funky to my ankle - and it did not feel pleasant.

-Mile 9: I got a blister.

-Mile 9.5: I about had 3 mental breakdowns.

-Mile 10: My parents drove by cheering... I gave them a half assed smile and did my best to not start bawling. I was hurting. A lot.

Chugging along - Note the red face and the dire attempts to not start crying

-Mile 12: I was walking by this point. A few random jogs. But I was toast.

-Mile 12.5: I see my lover walking towards me. Almost start crying again because if I run, I'll die.

-Mile 12.7: My lover makes me run because we are "almost there". That last stretch may have been one of the hardest stretches of the entire race. My legs were on fire.

Note how not thrilled I look.

-I finally reached where my family was standing and my sisters and mom started running with me and Shawn. It was super awesome!

Not the best picture - but you get the idea.

-Then I saw this and had to fight the tears... again...

-I finished about 10 minutes before the race was going to officially end. I was not running to get a good time. I was running to finish. And I did. People who didn't finish had to ride the van of shame, as I liked to refer to it as. And I'd be damned if I had to ride in that thing.

-I got my little "Finisher" medal (which, by the way, is the first medal I've ever received in my life) and a flyer for another run. PAH! Good one.

-Shawn had finished a good solid hour and a half before me. In't he cuuuute? :)

-I don't even think I need to describe how I felt when I was done. I may as well have been road kill. Observe...

-But we both finished! And I couldn't be more pleased.

-We went back to the hotel and napped, swam, and showered. Neither Shawn or I could walk like normal people. We limped. Everywhere.

-We went to a scenic overlook and took some peechers.

After this picture was taken the 8 year old says, "Hey Chels! We only have two names now, but soon we'll have THREE! Chamberlain, Heaton and MILNE!" Ah, young hearts.

-Then it was on the road again to go HOME. Shawn and I were beat, the thought of any more adventures kind of made our legs hurt... Except for one last adventure... to THE BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN. Which, might I add, was rather disappointing. But nevertheless, was also on my to-do before I die list. :)

All in all I'm glad we made the trip. It was hard... And I couldn't walk for days afterwards... But it was on my to-do before I die list... And I did it. I'm proud of myself and Shawn. I'd do it again with more training... But I hardly feel like even thinking about it at this point. :)


  1. Chels..I am so impressed with you and your running! I wish I could do it! I love reading your blog. You are hilarious!

  2. Nice race! Let's do it next year!

  3. wow... you're awesome. i ran a mile and a half tonight and wanted to die.

  4. Dang. I only read this cuz I thought it was gonna be all about you and Shawn and your sexcapades alone in Bryce. It was highly disappointing.... Ha. Seriously though, congrats. That's sweet that you finished.