Thursday, August 20, 2009

Self Vanity

I'm baaaack. These bullets go in no kind of chronological order - just with the flow of my brain. There's also a lack of pictures - So accept my apologies in advance for the self vanity below.

-Yes, my blog is under construction. I got bored.

-I keep thinking to myself that I want to blog - than subsequently think of 800 different things I want to say in my blog, all totally and completely random. Naturally by the time I do blog, I remember nothing. How unfortunate for you and I, right?

-Shawn's gone fishing this weekend. Even though he'll be back on Saturday or Sunday - I'm still going to miss him. Pathetic? Maybe. Do I care what you think? Nope.

-The whole family on my dad's sad + Shawn went to Bear Lake last weekend and stayed in a gigantic cabin. It pretty much rained and was freezing all weekend - so we didn't get to do much boating, which was sort of a bummer - but it was still fun. (I, once again, didn't take pictures - OOPS!) I drove a jet ski for the first time and about crapped my pants. Let me remind you that deep dark water scares the hell out of me... So this wasn't as fun as it probably should have been for me. I pretty much would go fast for about 7 seconds then stop because I thought we would somehow tip over because I'm a spastic driver. So I drove for maybe 3 minutes and made Shawn get back in front. He got a little cocky after a while and started hitting huge wakes and turning really sharp. I can imagine that my girly high-pitched screams in the back seat only egged him on further. Had I fallen off while he was driving - Shawn would probably not be alive right now. Luckily, he knows what's best for him.

-I bought Claudia Schiffer work out videos on Amazon.com for $3. They're so old school, they're not even on DVD. I don't even care. I'm going to get Claudia Schiffer abs. You'll see.

(Hell yes. Note: I say that in the most straight way possible.)

-I rode an elevator at work with a man (not going to my same floor) that returned the next day with the following note:

Hello,
:) You caught my eye and I thought
you might like it if we stayed in touch.

-Walter
801-###-1014

P.S. Do you like Latin dancing?

Walter! How did you know?! He had to have seen that desperate longing gleam in my eyes in the dim elevator lighting - the gleam that told him I just had to see him again. As if it was an act of service on his part - "I thought you might like it" - I must have been emanating my "hot and bothered by 30+ year old Latin men" vibe. Or not. Flattering as it was, it was mostly just awkward. Especially when 10 minutes later I go downstairs to get the mail and he is just sitting in the lobby still. Supposedly waiting for an appointment on another floor.... Right. Nice dude - but he should pick on someone his own age I'm thinking.

-School starts next week. So. not. thrilled. I've got a statistics class Monday-Thursday at 7:30am and 3 online classes. *Whine* At least I don't have evening classes - with maybe the exception of an institute class.

-I caught the bouquet at a wedding reception a few nights ago. I was trying not to catch it. Ironically enough it landed right in front of my feet. I stared at it for a little bit - noticed no one else was moving - and ever so slowly bent down and picked it up. Even though it's just a silly romanticized tradition - I'm sure Shawn crapped a brick.

-One time - whilst waiting for the man I call boyfriend to call me - I got really bored. So bored that I started putting on clothes that would make any fashion guru break out in a cold sweat - in the worst way. Not only that, but I took a whole slew of pictures of myself - something I rarely do when I'm alone. But because I know you're just dying to see said pictures - I will share a couple with you. Because they're mildly amusing. And if you don't think so - take a happy pill and try again. (Ps - unfortunately for you, the pictures are pre-dress up, and all of my face - try not to be too thrilled.)

(Shining example of why people are proud to call me friend.)

(Sometimes I try to be pretty.)

I hit the epitome of all boredom - and took pictures of a sneeze - frame by frame.

Welcome to the life of a bored Chelsea.


-I pretty much think www.despair.com is hilarious. Just my kind of humor. Is that sad?


-I can not stand girls who call me by pet names. Babe & hun are at the top of my hitlist. Do not call me these unless you are in an exclusive romantic relationship with me.

-I don't know what to do with myself this weekend. I feel marginally friendless without Shawn around. Good thing I've got myself a FAMILY.

-A girl at work showed me this blog: nieniedialogues.blogspot.com. Basically it's pretty much depressing - but inspiring at the same time. This lady got in an "almost fatal" plane crash and it totally warped everything on her body. I can't even imagine. Makes me all sorts of grateful that I have what I have and can do what I can do.

-Today my fruit snacks got stuck in the vending machine - again. Normally I would just huff and stomp away. Not this time. The vending machine would not get the best of me. I was hungry dammit and so help me, I would get those fruit snacks if it was the last thing I did. It being a fairly large vending machine I could think of no other way than hip checking it numerous times. 6 or 7 hip checks later: success. I got my awesome fruit snacks that were promptly snarfed down practically before I got back up to my floor. Anxious much Chels?

I can seriously think of nothing else marginally intelligent to post at the moment. But I will be back. Hopefully sooner than later. Because I know you'll miss me - and my awesome blogging skills.

4 comments:

  1. I miss your nonsense. That is all.

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  2. That sneeze is possibly the best thing i've seen all day!! hahaha you crack me up girl!

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  3. We should totally hang out some time. You are too much fun not to be hanging out with me. Granted, I'm a nerdy married gal now, but I can definitely give you some relationship advice...not that you need it. Call me this weekend if you get bored with the family.

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  4. By your last paragraph you are insinuating that everything you had written previously was at least "marginally intelligent". Hmmmm.....
    But, thanks for the soft core porn.

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