Monday, August 24, 2009

A Prosaic Mind

Note: This post is marginally boring. I won't be offended if you don't read. I promise. However, if you do read and don't comment - that's a different story.

So I'm becoming increasingly aware at just how awful my memory is. So my blogging may become a bit more frequent - as this is currently the only means of logging my life. I'd sort of like to remember stuff, trivial or unimportant as it may be.

-Turns out I survived Shawn being gone for t minus 3 days. Turns out he almost didn't survive being gone. Apparently him and Darin fell down a mountain followed by huge boulders - and somehow miraculously stopped before they hit a cliff. Boys can be such idiots sometimes. I know that I'm a pansy and all - but I highly doubt the likelihood that I would ever even put myself at risk for falling off a mountain. But like I said, I'm a huge pansy - so uh, maybe I'm the one with the problem? Anyways - needless to say that as thrilled as I was to hear that they about plummeted to their death off a mountain, I was even more thrilled for them to come home alive. :)

-1 bad parking job + 1 cement pillar + bad depth perception = $500+ paint job to fix measly scratches = ri.di.cu.lous. Cars are great. Mine currently shakes when I press on my brakes occasionally. All I have to say is whatever is wrong with it so better be under warranty still.

-Um. My fruit snacks got stuck in the vending machine again. My hip check tactic so did not work this time. Luckily for me, a very, very large man walked in as I was kicking the machine and grabbed the top of the huge machine and completely tipped it over. I was halfway surprised that everything didn't fall out of the machine at once. After the large man shook the machine a couple times - VOILA - I had breakfast #2 of the day.

-I missed the temple dedication on Sunday. I was up early, ready to go. Only to quickly find out that my recommend/ticket wasn't with the rest of my family's. It had been there the night before. But not when I need it, naturally. Needless to say I was tearing the house apart trying to find it. Emptying the contents of my purse out all over the living room, chucking things across rooms, lifting up rugs & cushions. Nothing. I almost considered using my sister's to get in - but then figured that was a bit much. Lying to get into a temple dedication - good idea Chelsea. I did, however, get to spend virtually the entire day with Shawn though, which I can't complain about. :) So I was a bit bummed about missing it, but I got to see the Draper Temple dedication, so all is well.

-Remember how Shawn went on a fishing trip last weekend - well naturally, he brought home a butt load of fish. So in my day spent with Shawn just guess what we did...

Ummm.... Yeah. We "de-boned" the fish. And by "we" I mean Shawn and his siblings. I did a full one fish - I was more than okay to just watch. Those things are slimy & gross. I still have yet to catch a fish of my own. Though, after hearing/seeing what has to be done to them afterwards - I'm not sure I care half as much anymore. I will still catch one before I die. Whether or not I actually keep it, is a totally separate story.

-A couple from Shawn's mission came to town because the woman's mother is getting open heart surgery (yikes!). Shawn had the privilege of helping give her a priesthood blessing on Sunday night, and I was invited to come along. (Apparently I needed to get a stamp of approval.) First of all, the lady, Anita, was the sweetest lady ever. She was so willing to accept whatever the Lord had in store for her - kind of a sad reality to have to face, but inspiring as well. Anyways, so she gets her blessing and we're all shooting the breeze for a while and the Cowperthwaites (couple from California) offered to take everyone out to dinner. We were in the Little America hotel, and they asked where some nearby restaurants were, and I told them there was some in the lobby - but they were fairly pricey. Apparently that was no problemo, as they took us to the Little America Steakhouse, where you pay a pretty penny for even just a "wedge of lettuce". That's right, at the Little America Steakhouse you can get a wedge of lettuce for $8. WTF? Sheesh. It was good food - and it was extremely nice of the couple to take care of the bill. They were fun to be around - I enjoyed their company. Our waitress wasn't all that impressive though - but I guess when you're getting tips off $200 meals, it hardly matters whether or not you have a personality.-We watched Haunting in Connecticut. Freaky show - but not too shabby. It was apparently "based on a true story". I wonder how far the story was actually stretched. *Shudder*

-Started school today. School sort of makes me want to set myself on fire. Especially when school is at 7:30am. Oh well. I hear education is a good thing. We'll see, eh?

-I can't remember if I told ya'll - but I totally started laser hair removal treatments. How awesome am I? Each treatment takes like 2 seconds. Crazy fast. It hurt a bit more than I was expecting - but not a whole lot more than tweezing. So we'll see how THAT turns out. If I like the result - you better believe I will never get a bikini wax ever again.

-As of August 15, I've officially worked at my job for 1 full year. Go me! (And in t minus a month and some days, I can enroll for INSURANCE. Hip hip hooray for open enrollment!)

That's about all I've got for now - PEACE.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Self Vanity

I'm baaaack. These bullets go in no kind of chronological order - just with the flow of my brain. There's also a lack of pictures - So accept my apologies in advance for the self vanity below.

-Yes, my blog is under construction. I got bored.

-I keep thinking to myself that I want to blog - than subsequently think of 800 different things I want to say in my blog, all totally and completely random. Naturally by the time I do blog, I remember nothing. How unfortunate for you and I, right?

-Shawn's gone fishing this weekend. Even though he'll be back on Saturday or Sunday - I'm still going to miss him. Pathetic? Maybe. Do I care what you think? Nope.

-The whole family on my dad's sad + Shawn went to Bear Lake last weekend and stayed in a gigantic cabin. It pretty much rained and was freezing all weekend - so we didn't get to do much boating, which was sort of a bummer - but it was still fun. (I, once again, didn't take pictures - OOPS!) I drove a jet ski for the first time and about crapped my pants. Let me remind you that deep dark water scares the hell out of me... So this wasn't as fun as it probably should have been for me. I pretty much would go fast for about 7 seconds then stop because I thought we would somehow tip over because I'm a spastic driver. So I drove for maybe 3 minutes and made Shawn get back in front. He got a little cocky after a while and started hitting huge wakes and turning really sharp. I can imagine that my girly high-pitched screams in the back seat only egged him on further. Had I fallen off while he was driving - Shawn would probably not be alive right now. Luckily, he knows what's best for him.

-I bought Claudia Schiffer work out videos on Amazon.com for $3. They're so old school, they're not even on DVD. I don't even care. I'm going to get Claudia Schiffer abs. You'll see.

(Hell yes. Note: I say that in the most straight way possible.)

-I rode an elevator at work with a man (not going to my same floor) that returned the next day with the following note:

Hello,
:) You caught my eye and I thought
you might like it if we stayed in touch.

-Walter
801-###-1014

P.S. Do you like Latin dancing?

Walter! How did you know?! He had to have seen that desperate longing gleam in my eyes in the dim elevator lighting - the gleam that told him I just had to see him again. As if it was an act of service on his part - "I thought you might like it" - I must have been emanating my "hot and bothered by 30+ year old Latin men" vibe. Or not. Flattering as it was, it was mostly just awkward. Especially when 10 minutes later I go downstairs to get the mail and he is just sitting in the lobby still. Supposedly waiting for an appointment on another floor.... Right. Nice dude - but he should pick on someone his own age I'm thinking.

-School starts next week. So. not. thrilled. I've got a statistics class Monday-Thursday at 7:30am and 3 online classes. *Whine* At least I don't have evening classes - with maybe the exception of an institute class.

-I caught the bouquet at a wedding reception a few nights ago. I was trying not to catch it. Ironically enough it landed right in front of my feet. I stared at it for a little bit - noticed no one else was moving - and ever so slowly bent down and picked it up. Even though it's just a silly romanticized tradition - I'm sure Shawn crapped a brick.

-One time - whilst waiting for the man I call boyfriend to call me - I got really bored. So bored that I started putting on clothes that would make any fashion guru break out in a cold sweat - in the worst way. Not only that, but I took a whole slew of pictures of myself - something I rarely do when I'm alone. But because I know you're just dying to see said pictures - I will share a couple with you. Because they're mildly amusing. And if you don't think so - take a happy pill and try again. (Ps - unfortunately for you, the pictures are pre-dress up, and all of my face - try not to be too thrilled.)

(Shining example of why people are proud to call me friend.)

(Sometimes I try to be pretty.)

I hit the epitome of all boredom - and took pictures of a sneeze - frame by frame.

Welcome to the life of a bored Chelsea.


-I pretty much think www.despair.com is hilarious. Just my kind of humor. Is that sad?


-I can not stand girls who call me by pet names. Babe & hun are at the top of my hitlist. Do not call me these unless you are in an exclusive romantic relationship with me.

-I don't know what to do with myself this weekend. I feel marginally friendless without Shawn around. Good thing I've got myself a FAMILY.

-A girl at work showed me this blog: nieniedialogues.blogspot.com. Basically it's pretty much depressing - but inspiring at the same time. This lady got in an "almost fatal" plane crash and it totally warped everything on her body. I can't even imagine. Makes me all sorts of grateful that I have what I have and can do what I can do.

-Today my fruit snacks got stuck in the vending machine - again. Normally I would just huff and stomp away. Not this time. The vending machine would not get the best of me. I was hungry dammit and so help me, I would get those fruit snacks if it was the last thing I did. It being a fairly large vending machine I could think of no other way than hip checking it numerous times. 6 or 7 hip checks later: success. I got my awesome fruit snacks that were promptly snarfed down practically before I got back up to my floor. Anxious much Chels?

I can seriously think of nothing else marginally intelligent to post at the moment. But I will be back. Hopefully sooner than later. Because I know you'll miss me - and my awesome blogging skills.