Monday, November 9, 2009


Guys, I lose at the Monday Happy 7.  I should be doing my math homework, when I realized I had yet again neglected my blog.

Chelsea: Ah poo, I forgot to blog again.
Shawn: Your life is so hard.

 This Monday list is brought to you by: trivial things things that make my life better/easier:

1. Bobby pins
2. Google
3. Vending machines
4. Sarcasm
5. Facebook tags
6. Lip gloss
7. Space heaters 


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hooker Bees

Um - Apparently Monday 7 is a no go this week.  Don't worry though, I've got the fun list for you today.

-Good news!  I have health and dental insurance.  Now I can embark on a journey of recklessness without worrying about having to sell my first born to pay for a doctor.

-I've probably already mentioned this, but I'll say it again.  My major is becoming rather boring to me.  That freaks me out for multiple reasons.  But I refuse to switch now because a) I've already poured thousands of dollars into this major, b) I have 2 semesters left, c) I don't know what in the hell I'd switch to.

-I ended up being a bumble bee for Halloween.  Sadly, I didn't really get many good pictures.  They're all on Shawn's phone.  But the skirt thinger was sorta short, and I wore fishnets and heels - needless to say I felt like a hooker who catered exclusively to flying insects.  Everyone was insistent that I didn't look like a skank whore - but I titled myself Hooker Bee for the entire night.  Halloween is such a classy holiday.

-Speaking of Halloween, we threw a party at Shawn's house.  Turns out I have massive panic/anxiety/crazy attacks before I throw parties.  And for no particularly good reason, at that.  My thoughts progressed as follows: "Oh hell, there is nothing to do at our 'party'"... "We don't have a playlist!"... "They only stayed for 10 minutes... My party is boring!!"... "Why the hell is everyone just sitting around?  My party fails!"... "Why can't Mormons drink alcohol?"... "There has to be someone we can get drunk at this party for entertainment purposes only."  "Oh my gosh, that bee is cuter than me!  Slut."... "Shit.  I have a quiz due in 3 hours."... So yeah, you get the drift.  I eventually drowned all my anxieties in chocolate and dancing and stopped caring if people at our party were sitting on couches picking their noses.  Overall, it turned out to be a fun time.  However, I did miss chili at my grandma's house.  *Sigh*

-I went to this website that told me sitting/resting for 7 hours a day can burn somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 calories.  Um... What?

-I got my hair done.  Eeee!  It's dark now, no more blonde. (I guess that should be kind of inherently obvious...)  Anyways - I just went to the salon my last hair person (who so graciously moved to Canada) worked at and had a random chick do it.  Why don't I take anyone's recommendations?  Simply because I'm paranoid that I might end up hating my hair and then feeling awful for not going back.  I'd prefer to go to a stranger who I can ignore without hurting anyone's feelings.  So don't get all bent out of shape if I don't go to who you suggest - it's all with good intentions, promise.  Anyways, this chick does my hair, does a good job - as well as gives me a fabulous head massage.  So I'm well pleased, thinking I may have found my next hair person until, God forbid, she decides to move to Canada.  The next day I'm doing my hair as per usual, and notice that there is a CHUNK of hair that has been LOPPED off the back of my head.  Don't worry that it's right on my cowlick (Um... I Googled that beast of a word - who knew?) so it has the potential to be very noticeable... Otherwise it thankfully blends in fairly well.  But I'm still so peeved about it.  When I discovered my missing hair I was on the phone saying something to Shawn and immediately stopped and screamed "Where the hell is my hair?!"  and promptly hung up.  He was confused, to say the least.

-So I blow a pretty chunk of change to get my hair done, why not take a trip to Asian land and get muh nails DID.  So of course I get the overly muscular Asian dude in a tight t shirt who is most definitely trying to compensate for something.  He clearly was more than thrilled to be touching my callused feet as he began telling me about how much he loathed his job at the salon.  Apparently his family owns the place, and they force him to buff feet and paint toes.  It's a hard knock life dude - now massage my legs.

-I appreciate everyone's concern for my eternal salvation.  But your guess is as good as mine when it comes to a wedding.  Please direct further inquiries to Shawn.  (Hi Shawn!)

-Um, once upon a time me and Lindsey moved a giant ass 478329473289 pound desk from my building to hers.  This consisted of trying to get the desk on the measly dolly, into the elevator, out the door, and down a block downtown.  All sorts of people asked if we needed help as we're both cussing up a storm as the desk is inches from crashing into the sidewalk.  I was more surprised to see how many people didn't ask if we needed help.  Rolling that gigantic mass of furniture over train tracks was an especially special moment in the whole ordeal.  Some toothless Mexican hobo, who didn't hardly speak a lick of English, eventually helped us the rest of the way - a very kind gesture.  I sincerely wish I could have documented the journey better.  Oh well.

-Shawn's entire family has ringworm.  Compliments of their cat.  Seeing as I spend 75% of my life over at their house, I'm just a tiny bit worried that said fungus will spread to me.  His sister has it on her butt and her face.  Please God, spare me.

-Sometimes I wonder if I'm affected by that S.A.D. disorder - it's hard for me to know when my moodiness is compliments of my completely jacked up hormones - or because mother nature sucks a big one.

-I decided I need more service in my life, so I submitted an application to volunteer at the Food Bank.  We'll see how long that lasts.  Last time I got in this phase I tried to volunteer for a hospice - visiting people that were dying.  That was just plain old depressing - so maybe Food Bank stuff will be less.... emotionally draining?

So this is kind of lame, but it's all I can think of right now.  Stay tuned.