-Went back to the lady doctor. Had some more medieval contraptions shoved up my hoo hoo - and turns out I'm nice and "normal". As long as I don't end up having cancer, I should be good to go. Hip freaking hooray.
-Birth control update: Random emotional episodes, usually involving my weight, my abnormally giant love handles or the roll of oosh right underneath my bra that is destined to keep growing til it droops to the floor. Also, total and complete irritability with a side of short temper and nausea. Moral of the story? Don't piss me off - and if you're a skinny chick who can eat crap all day long without gaining a single pound, you can go ahead and get lost.
-Started school yesterday, stay tuned for complaints.
-Remember that whole, me going to the gym thing? Turns out I fail miserably at keeping up at it. I absolutely loathe the gym. I'd rather swallow a stapler than have to drag my lazy arse there every day. Too dramatic?
-Shawn and I are running out of money, turns out eternal wedded bliss isn't cheap. Where is Publishers Clearinghouse when you need them.
-Speaking of money, raise your hand if you think Shawn and I are pathetic for taking all the surveys at the end of receipts to "Win $5,000!". Because we do - Shawn has absolutely no faith in them, but I like to think I'll get a call from someone saying we have $5,000 to spend at Target. If not, at least we bettered their company by taking their pointless surveys. Not.
-Shawn and I went to a bridal show this last weekend, in attempts to win this huge grand prize wedding, which included a wedding dress and a bunch of other expensive stuff. All you had to do was write 200 words on why you deserved a dress. That's not hard, right? I decided to write a poem, you know, so my entry would stand out... (Judge me and I'll stab you.)
There is a time in every girl’s life,
When she dreams of the day she becomes somebody’s wife
The most exciting thing, as I’m sure you can guess
Is the beautiful white gown she’ll wear, her future wedding dress.
I’m finally at that moment, when my dreams are becoming real
I’ve met the man of my dreams, to whom I will be sealed
I’ve searched far and wide for a dress that meets perfection
When I finally fell upon the Maggie Sottero Collection
My jaw fell wide open, when I saw the most beautiful gown
I had found nothing comparable in all my looking around
This was the dress I wanted, about that there was no doubt
Until I saw the price tag, and sighed a heavy pout
I work and school full time, with many high bills to pay
I sometimes even support my parents, who struggle day to day
Bride’s dreams becoming reality, is Maggie’s Sottero’s mission
Now I’m asking for your help to achieve this lifelong ambition
I would be honored to wear a dress of yours, what a blessing it would be
Emerging in a breathtaking gown, I’m certain my groom will agree.
I didn't end up winning, (as I'm sure you could've assumed by my cheery preface). Turns out in order to win you had to have a family member die, or something much more tragic than a busy schedule and no money. But I'm still proud of my 197 word poem. We entered a bunch more contests with the different vendors. If we're lucky, we might have 4 honeymoons to go on. ;)
-It's really a shame that headbands hurt my head like crazy. Because I sort of enjoy them. It's a way to make my hair look.... less crappy.
-Once upon a time I showered, came downstairs, and started getting ready for church. You know that sound you hear when water is running through your pipes after you've flushed the toilet or whatever. I hear that noise, think nothing of it. Ten minutes later I'm still hearing the noise, so I walk out into the basement to see our basement floor drenched in water. I then look up to see water GUSHING out the cracks of our closed window. From top to bottom, ice cold water was just running into our basement from a completely full window well. I'm half naked in a towel at this point as I run to the window cursing, attempting to stop it. No luck. I try calling my family (who are all at church), with no luck. Major stress + daily hormones = crying. I call Shawn in tears telling him my basement is drowning in ice cold water and I can't get a hold of my family. Him and his dad show up to see me up against the window trying to seal it, half naked (now in my robe), in sheer panic and tears. By this point there's a good 2 inches of water on the floor - awesome. I finally got a hold of my dad whom I told to come home now. (He later told me he was sure that Shawn and I had just broke up or something because I was crying.) Anyways... Half of the neighborhood and even the fire department showed up. Turns out, there was a sprinkler thinger that ran into our backyard that my dad didn't know about, and it hadn't been turned off in years, so it froze, expanded, and then exploded, resulting in a nice waterfall into the window well, and into our basement. Utah Disaster Relief came and sucked up most the water and put a crapload of massive fans into our basement to air it out. People, these fans are not quiet by any stretch of the imagination. It sounds like our house is about to take flight. Not to mention half our house smells like urine now. But hey, free carpet. Thank you homeowner's.
-I have a mole on my chin. There is one solitary dark hair that grows out of it. Shawn and I decided that maybe I should get the record for the longest solitary female chin hair ever. Classy, I know.
-I love Shawn. I love that he loves my disgusting love handles and chin hairs and fat rolls. I love that he can so easily dismiss the small things that, in the eternal scheme of things, don't matter. I love his work ethic. And I love how into the wedding plans he's getting. He's perfect and I can't imagine spending the rest of forever with anyone else. So there.