Monday, February 22, 2010

All Together Now: Awwwwwwwwwwe!



= Adorable future children.  

Admit it.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


You know you're marrying the right man when....

-He brings you McDonald's Sausage McMuffin and hashbrown at work because you whined about how hungry you were because of a missed breakfast.

-He buys you $80 worth of new clothes because you had a meltdown for not having anything to wear for engagement pictures.

-He, out of the blue, offers massages.

-He reminds you to take your birth control pill, even though it turns you into a crazy person sometimes.

-He'll log onto MSN and turn on his webcam just to keep you entertained at work.

-He calls you in the morning just to say good morning and that he loves you.

-He makes you feel like the most amazing woman on the planet.

Yeah, that's how you know.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Life: Abridged Version

-I'm sick.  Great.
-No engagement pictures yet.
-Tax return gone.
-Wedding isn't getting any less expensive.
-Behind in school.
-Chest pains from birth control.
-Shawn is wonderful.
-Had a great Valentine's date.
-Still think Valentine's Day is lame.
-Shopping spree at Kohls, love Shawn.
-Got bridesmaid dresses.
-Still need freakin boleros/jackets... something.
-Need to get nasty hair done.
-Giant ass zit on my chin.
-Found place I want to live.  Sigh.
-Found place we're going to live.
-4 bridal showers in the works and counting.  Eeee!
-Want to be married.... now.
-Just swallowed BC pill without a drink - might throw up...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Facebook Pet Peeves

Talk about a generic title.  Oh well - straight and to the point.  Facebook is great for many reasons, however it is also extremely annoying for many reasons.  Because I'm awesome, I've compiled a list of a bunch of nit-picky thing that drives me bonkers about Facebook (and internet usage in general) - besides the fact that it is taking over the world. So in no particular order...

1. Facebook is addictive by nature.  When I have 17 better things I could be doing, I find myself mindlessly stalking people on Facebook.  This perturbs me for numerous reasons, but mostly because I feel like an unaccomplished, lazy loser afterward. 

2.  Why do people insist on shortening already short words?  Is it so hard to type the extra two letters in 'you'?  Are people really that lazy?  Or is the intelligence of our generation just completely plummeting?  I'm going to go ahead and say both.  I automatically think less of people when they say 'u' instead of 'you'.  Be smart, people.

3.  On the same note, people should probably learn how to spell if they're going to post something for the whole internet to see.  Just saying.

4.  When the words 'loves' (example: Blah blah blah.  Okay bye.  Loves!), 'preggers', 'prego', 'hubbers', 'hubby', and 'totes' are used I sort of throw up a little bit.  What is wrong with being normal?  And saying pregnant?  And husband?  And totally?  I find this language no more "cute" than the normal English words. 

5.  Stop complaining about the Facebook layout.  It doesn't matter how much you complain, how many groups you make, how many fan pages you create - it won't do jack.  Sure it's annoying to have to get used to the new layouts every time, but we all somehow manage.  So stop whining.

6.  People with over a thousand friends.  Please. 

7.  People who un-tag themselves in my pictures.  Talk about not fun.  So what if it's a super awful/embarrassing/ugly picture.  Get over it.  It's funny.

8. People who don't tag pictures.  C'mon.  Be classy.  Tag pictures.  

9.  Okay.  What is the deal with all the damn FAN PAGES?  It started out as, "Oh I'll be a fan of bananas, Nintendo, rubber bands, and taking naps."  Now it's turned into become a fan of "I hate it when I do something amazing and no one sees it" or "Trying to balance the light switch between on & off" or "I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find" .  WTF?  I realize that some of these are mildly amusing, because we can all relate to them.  But I don't understand what the point is in becoming a "fan" of said topic.  I never have.  The only thing I'm a fan of is myself.  Go ahead and check.  My absolute favorite is when people become fans of 17,000 pages at a time.  Wow, you're cool.

10.  Poking. Is there a point - other than to be completely obnoxious? 

11.  People who complain and act completely horrified that they have "one less friend".  Who the heck keeps track of crap like that?  I may be an addict, but I'm not that ridiculous.  Get over yourself, you clearly didn't have anything important to offer.

12.  People who so boldly and nobly say they're taking a break from Facebook - and don't. 

13.  I hate getting notifications for lame things.  Especially when someone "likes" my Facebook activity.  Talk about disappointing.

14.  Speaking of "liking" things - two things.  One, it is absolutely unnecessary to like something and comment on it.  Just pick one.  Two, get over having a "dislike" button - clearly it is not happening.

15.  Do not put "Maybe" or "Attending" if you have absolutely no intent of showing up.  You don't look any cooler for it.

16.  Causes?  Do people who create "Causes" really do anything but invite people to "join their cause"?  If you want to fix something, get the heck of Facebook and do something productive.

17.  Okay.  Here's a big one: People who post super dramatic status updates, but give absolutely no insight as to why they're being such a drama queen.  Example: Betty Lou CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED!  John Smith doesn't know what to do.  Darth Vader is so upset.  There are numerous people pining to know what happened, or why said person is so utterly pissed off at the world, or why your heart is broken.  If you're going to be all dramatic and crap, don't leave us hanging.  Nothing is more annoying than a cryptic half story.  Throw the internet a bone for hell sakes.

18.  I can't stand it when I'm next to someone who has a BAZILLION messages or notifications or requests that they won't. get. rid. of.   I realize that is super petty, but c'mon, clean  up your page.

19.  People who countdown to an unknown event every. single. day.  I'm okay if you've got like single digit numbers left, or if you every once in a while say "2 MONTHS" (*cough* like me...) but if you're counting down from 174... just don't.  It's annoying - especially if the nosy people have no idea what the heck you're counting down to.  How is that fun?

20.  I realize I've mentioned this before, but constant inspirational/motivational/feel-good quotes, annoys me.  Every once in a while, sure, grace us with your positively inspiring optimism.  Every 3 hours, how about, not.  Put your positive attitude into something less annoying, like drawing a rainbow, or skipping. 

21.  Finally, people who act like they're better than Facebook.  Please.  No one is better than Facebook. 

(Note: This wasn't meant to offend, just inform.  Get over yourself.)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sleep Deprived

Okay, so I whine about having to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go to the gym - and here I lay in bed at 9:00, so I can get a good night's rest - and nothing.  I can't stop thinking about everything.  My wedding, things I can blog about, the fact I ate way too much for dinner, the fact that I bailed on kickboxing tonight because I wanted to go buy two Kit Kat bars instead... you know, normal stuff.  I'm super irritated that I can't just fall asleep.  Why does my body hate me?  So I'm going to go ahead and unload some wedding thoughts onto you, in hopes of deadening my mind, so I can stop thinking about whether or not I'm going to wake up 20 pounds heavier in the  morning because I ate for 3 tonight.

There's absolutely nothing I want more than to marry the love of my life in the temple for all time and eternity, however - that said, there are still some things that make me a little bit nervous:

-I'm extremely independent.  I like having my own things, and I'm not very good at sharing them.  Namely, my bed.  I'm sure it'll be fairly pleasant to be able to have someone to snuggle up to every night.  But what about the dead of the night, when I want to sprawl out every limb of my body over every inch of the bed?  I feel like I may end up accidentally smothering poor Shawn to death in the middle of the night.  I guess I just need to learn how to be a better sharer.  Sharing is caring, right?  However, so help me, if Shawn so much as ever uses my toothbrush or loofah, I will smother him to death - and it won't be an accident.  Sharing loofahs and toothbrushes is so beyond me - have some respect people.

-I'm the pickiest eater ever - are we going to have to separate our fridge into "Chelsea's Food" and "Shawn's Food"?  I drink skim milk, Shawn digs 2% - 2% makes me want to throw up.  Most people would say, so go for 1%?  No.  Still too creamy.  I eat Mayo, Shawn eats Miracle Whip.  Gag me.  I'd sooner swallow a pair of scissors.  Do you see my concern?

-So Shawn has this thing about people who snore.... he hates them.  He would sooner die a thousand deaths than sleep with someone who snores.  Um... Surprise!  Pretty sure I've been known to snore.  In fact, when I'd have sleepovers when I was younger, I would pretend to still be asleep in the morning and without fail someone would always always always say, "Oh. my. gosh.  Did you hear Chelsea snoring last night?!"  (Hi Betsy!)  I think as I've gotten older it's turned less into snoring and more into heavy breathing.  Is that still grounds for a divorce?  Is snoring considered an "irreconcilable difference"?  I'm just kidding on the divorce note - however, it might just solve my shared bed problem....  Who knows.  Shawn's been with me when I've been asleep, and the only problem thus far is that I've drooled on him.  Comparatively speaking, that can't be too bad?

-This sort of stems back to my independence - but I thoroughly enjoy my alone time.  Sometimes I like to come home, snuggle in my bed - by myself, and watch 3 episodes of my current TV addiction.  I love being around Shawn more than anything in the world, but will I still get my precious moments snuggled up with my laptop?  I feel like I offend people when I say, "Um... Yeah, I'm just going to go to my room and hang out with my laptop..."  Doesn't mean I don't enjoy said person's company.  Is that weird?  Am I normal?  Holy crap.  I don't want Shawn to feel like I'm having a love affair with my laptop.  He's a good, understanding man though - he'll understand.  :)

-This whole virgin marrying a virgin thing, yeah - I'm slightly nervous.  'Nuff said.

Even though there are things that make me nervous, or paranoid, or fearful - there are a ton more things that I'm looking incredibly forward to.  For instance....

-No more of this staying up all hours of the night just to spend every possible waking moment with each other.  I hear when you're married you get a ton more sleep.  Maybe that makes me a 40 year old for yearning for more sleep... But man - I couldn't be more thrilled.

-On the same note, having to go home every night.  Not only is it depressing, but it's obnoxious.  Sure, I only live 2 minutes away.  But when we're both passed out on the couch, there's nothing like the nice reality that, "Oh yeah, you should probably go home so our parents don't have ulcers when we wake up together tomorrow."  Going outside into the freezing cold car, half asleep.  Man, it's just annoying.  Besides, snuggling is fun.  As paranoid as I am that I'm going to smother Shawn to death - I really am looking forward to being able to say goodnight to him and not have to leave him.

-The virgin thing, sure I'm nervous, but HOLLLAAAAA.  

-I'm looking forward to being able to read scriptures and say prayers with Shawn every single night.  I believe that relationships are strengthened tenfold when you're studying scriptures and praying together every night.  I'm pretty sure that Shawn is 483290483290 times smarter than me when it comes to the scriptures anyways, I love talking to him about scriptures - and it'll just be awesome and enlightening and wonderful to be able to do that every night.

-Going through the temple - man oh man, words can't even begin describing how much I'm looking forward to this.  Having Shawn be there with me will be beyond words.  Knowing that we'll be sealed together for time and all eternity is so comforting, especially since I snore.  I remember going to do baptisms with Shawn in high school every Wednesday, and I love seeing him in white.  It's his best look.  I get all misty eyed even thinking about being sealed to my sweet, sweet Shawn.  What a wonderful, blessed experience that will be.

-This is going to sound so typical Mormon chick, but I'm absolutely thrilled at the thought of having kids.  (Note: This won't be happening any time soon, but nevertheless.)   Ever since I was little, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and would always tell them that I wanted to be a mom.  (Well, that is after I got over my street light worker and janitor phases)  People have mockingly told me I'm in the "Mormon mommy major" in school, but pfft, that couldn't be any closer to what I want to do with my life.  If I can go to school to learn how to better take care of my kids, then score.  Don't get me wrong, I have a whole slew of worries about having children.  But I'm mostly just excited to start my own little family with Shawn.  

-Most of all, I'm just excited to grow old with my sweetheart.  I realize that's so far beyond cheesy, but it's true.  We're going to have ups and downs - financially, emotionally, physically.  I don't think I could've picked a better man to go through life with by my side, and to help me raise a righteous Celestial family.  I wrote notes to myself in high school for the future saying that I really hoped I ended up with Shawn, and whattya know - turns out patience works wonders.  We're going to have a wonderful, awesome, goofy life together - and I'm ecstatic.  

In other news:

-I can't find freakin shoes to go with my wedding dress, which I can't get altered until I have said shoes.
-There are so many options with reception food, and I really suck at decisions.  Spend a lot more money on a layout that'll be nicer and more stress-free - or spend less money on something that won't be as awesome and a little bit more stressful?  Help?
-We're getting our engagements taken on President's Day.  If you have any super fun ideas for pictures that you want to share, don't be shy.
-I found a pattern for my bridesmaids.  A girl I work with is the freakin bomb and said she'd sew them all for me, since, well, if I sewed them - they'd probably fall off during the reception.  Except I need cute black boleros to go with them - who has cute boleros that aren't a gazillion dollars?
-If you're ever going to do a Wedding account with a bank, use Mountain America and not America First - they're a bunch of flaming morons. 
-So much to do!  I keep thinking I have all the time in the world... and, well, I don't.  Still having a great time planning, though. :)

Okay, now that I've stared at a laptop screen for the last 45 minutes, I'll never get to sleep. But nevertheless, it's been my pleasure sharing things with you that you probably didn't even care to know.  Goodnight, internet. 


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Title Fail

This Tuesday is brought to you by "Things Chelsea Wonders..."

1.  Why is January a month?  No one even likes January.  It's just full of failed resolutions, cold weather, and scraping windshields.  There have been plenty of blogs pissing and moaning about January - so I'll just leave it at that.  January is a waste of a month.  There.

2. How do people enjoy going to the gym?  Why am I not one of them?  I hate the gym.  Smelling it as I walk in makes me want to throw up, and then cry.  I have a hard time fathoming how people can skip into that hell of a place and already be counting the hours of when they get to go back.  If you're one of these people, I mean no disrespect, but what is your issue?  I've always wished that I could become one of those superstar people who is addicted to working out, but I'm just not.  Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that I'm being healthy and getting my body in shape - but I would absolutely never dream of listing "working out" as one of my hobbies.  Shawn and I have started going to the gym at 5:00 in the morning.....

3.  Since when does 5:00 AM exist?  You would think I've been sleep deprived for days, the way I drag myself out of bed every morning.  There's absolutely no way on God's green earth that I'd be going alone, however.  Shawn shows up at my house at 5:10 every morning, just as chipper as can be.  I don't know how in the world he does it - maybe once we're married it'll rub off on me... or not.  He's a morning person, I'm not.  I'm amused to think of the issues this will probably cause.  Mornings make me want to punch a baby - pleasant, I know.*

4.  Why do people insist on talking LiKe ThIs?  C'mon people, are we 12 years old little girls?  I didn't think so.  TyPiNg LiKe ThIs Is No MoRe AeStHeTiCaLlY pLeAsInG tHaN gRoWn Up TyPiNg.  Plus it takes 8 hours longer.  Just be normal, okay?

5.  Since when did fortune cookies become a gateway for hilarious innuendos?  Example: Last night I open my fortune cookie and read out loud the following fortune: "A small lucky package is on its way to you soon."  Hilarity ensued among the older people in the house.  Shawn didn't find it nearly as amusing as I did.

6.  Why is talking on a webcam 48,723,948 times more fun than talking in person?  Shawn and I both have webcams and decided it would be amusing to talk on them.  Guys, webcams are the freakin' shiz.  Everything is 10 times funnier.  Besides, I like being able to see when people really 'lol' at me or when they are just being courteous.  Research concludes that I think I'm funnier than everyone else does.

7.  Why do I still watch The Bachelor when I have plenty of better things to be doing?  I really have no answer to this other than I enjoy watching ridiculous drama.  The winner has supposedly been leaked - and I hate her, by the way.  But I'll still continue to watch, because I'm awesome.

8.  Why does the radio give away lame prizes?  Sometimes when I'm listening to the radio I'll just hear, "Be the 10th caller and win!"  I have absolutely no idea what they're giving away, but I want to win, so I call.  The other weekend I won.  Which is amazing, because, well... I never win.  So I'm doing cheerleading stunts in my mind as the DJ asks me if I have kids... Ah, piece of crap - this prize is going to suck.  Turns out I won some "spy kit", which he told me my fiance could play with (sometimes DJs just, aren't funny.) and tickets to that Spy Next Door movie, or whatever.  I was so excited, that it's been a week and a half and I still haven't picked up my prize.  Oops.  Shawn and I are going to "accidentally" go into the wrong theater... But don't worry, we'll have our spy kit handy just in case the theater management is following us.  

9.  Who is going to make dinner when I'm married?  Um... As fate would have it, I'm a worthless cooker.  I remember one time calling my dad to ask him how to make french toast - and he was beyond amused.  I can make stuff a 5 year old could make, like Ramen, eggs, and sandwiches.  But that's about it.  My sister/parents gave me a cookbook for Christmas... Maybe that'll help.  Shawn and I were feeling rather culinary(ily?) inclined one night, so we made dinner.  Observe:


How awesome are we?  I realize that this is enough food to feed a homeless clan for a week - but it was goooood.  Note our cute/ugly Christmas goblets and romantic mood-setter candle.  Oh yeah, we're that good. 

10.  Why does my fiance love popping my zits?  More so, why does he assume that I'm okay with popping his?  I love Shawn, I do.  But man, I have not passed the "I love you so much I'll pop your zits" threshold.  I was going through my pictures and found Shawn going for the kill... A candid zit popping picture - how adorable.  This was probably just nanoseconds before I turned around and yelled at him for checking out my zits.

11.  Why on earth did the government decide it wanted to give me a special school credit and give me a hella tax return?   So I'm just doing my taxes online expecting no less than a $3 dollar return (I got a grand total of $26 from federal last year - because I'm awesome).  All of a sudden I type in the information from my school tax form thinger - and WABAM!  My return shoots from $500 to $2,700 in 5 seconds.  Blessing.  This could not have come at a better time.  And I'm going to get a little bit religious right now and tell you it is because I paid my tithing - I just know it.  Tithing hasn't always been the easiest thing for me, I'm sure everyone has had their moments.  But last year, I stayed on top of it - and I couldn't be more pleased with the results.  Turns out God isn't lying when he says He'll bless you.  That money paid off some debt I had, and will go towards a lot of wedding stuff.  Speaking of weddings...

12.  Why the heck do weddings cost an arm and a leg?  We've been extremely fortunate to have connections to a lot of things like photography, flowers, and announcements.  But good glory - things are still really expensive.  Clearly I'm in the wrong business...

13.  Why do men's wedding rings with diamonds strike me as homosexual?  I can't grasp the concept of a men's wedding ring having more than one diamond in it.  Shawn picked out his, and it has one teeny tiny small diamond in the middle - which I'm surprisingly okay with, because it looks good.  But more than that... What are you?  Joining the mafia?  No offense meant to anyone... I'm just question men who wear lots of diamonds.  That's all.
14.  Lastly, who in the crap does this groundhog think he is**?  Oh, so you saw your shadow - so we have 6 more weeks of winter - great, just fantastic.  That rodent can burn in Hell, as far as I'm concerned. 

Okay, really, I could probably keep going in a dire attempt to stay awake.  However, I'm going to stop at that.  Stay tuned for an enlightening post on why Valentine's Day is almost more lame than the month of January.

*I wouldn't actually ever punch a baby - settle down.
**Apparently this thing's name is Punxsutawney Phil... Um, right.