1. Facebook is addictive by nature. When I have 17 better things I could be doing, I find myself mindlessly stalking people on Facebook. This perturbs me for numerous reasons, but mostly because I feel like an unaccomplished, lazy loser afterward.
2. Why do people insist on shortening already short words? Is it so hard to type the extra two letters in 'you'? Are people really that lazy? Or is the intelligence of our generation just completely plummeting? I'm going to go ahead and say both. I automatically think less of people when they say 'u' instead of 'you'. Be smart, people.
3. On the same note, people should probably learn how to spell if they're going to post something for the whole internet to see. Just saying.
4. When the words 'loves' (example: Blah blah blah. Okay bye. Loves!), 'preggers', 'prego', 'hubbers', 'hubby', and 'totes' are used I sort of throw up a little bit. What is wrong with being normal? And saying pregnant? And husband? And totally? I find this language no more "cute" than the normal English words.
5. Stop complaining about the Facebook layout. It doesn't matter how much you complain, how many groups you make, how many fan pages you create - it won't do jack. Sure it's annoying to have to get used to the new layouts every time, but we all somehow manage. So stop whining.
6. People with over a thousand friends. Please.
7. People who un-tag themselves in my pictures. Talk about not fun. So what if it's a super awful/embarrassing/ugly picture. Get over it. It's funny.
8. People who don't tag pictures. C'mon. Be classy. Tag pictures.
9. Okay. What is the deal with all the damn FAN PAGES? It started out as, "Oh I'll be a fan of bananas, Nintendo, rubber bands, and taking naps." Now it's turned into become a fan of "I hate it when I do something amazing and no one sees it" or "Trying to balance the light switch between on & off" or "I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find" . WTF? I realize that some of these are mildly amusing, because we can all relate to them. But I don't understand what the point is in becoming a "fan" of said topic. I never have. The only thing I'm a fan of is myself. Go ahead and check. My absolute favorite is when people become fans of 17,000 pages at a time. Wow, you're cool.
10. Poking. Is there a point - other than to be completely obnoxious?
11. People who complain and act completely horrified that they have "one less friend". Who the heck keeps track of crap like that? I may be an addict, but I'm not that ridiculous. Get over yourself, you clearly didn't have anything important to offer.
12. People who so boldly and nobly say they're taking a break from Facebook - and don't.
13. I hate getting notifications for lame things. Especially when someone "likes" my Facebook activity. Talk about disappointing.
14. Speaking of "liking" things - two things. One, it is absolutely unnecessary to like something and comment on it. Just pick one. Two, get over having a "dislike" button - clearly it is not happening.
15. Do not put "Maybe" or "Attending" if you have absolutely no intent of showing up. You don't look any cooler for it.
16. Causes? Do people who create "Causes" really do anything but invite people to "join their cause"? If you want to fix something, get the heck of Facebook and do something productive.
17. Okay. Here's a big one: People who post super dramatic status updates, but give absolutely no insight as to why they're being such a drama queen. Example: Betty Lou CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED! John Smith doesn't know what to do. Darth Vader is so upset. There are numerous people pining to know what happened, or why said person is so utterly pissed off at the world, or why your heart is broken. If you're going to be all dramatic and crap, don't leave us hanging. Nothing is more annoying than a cryptic half story. Throw the internet a bone for hell sakes.
18. I can't stand it when I'm next to someone who has a BAZILLION messages or notifications or requests that they won't. get. rid. of. I realize that is super petty, but c'mon, clean up your page.
19. People who countdown to an unknown event every. single. day. I'm okay if you've got like single digit numbers left, or if you every once in a while say "2 MONTHS" (*cough* like me...) but if you're counting down from 174... just don't. It's annoying - especially if the nosy people have no idea what the heck you're counting down to. How is that fun?
20. I realize I've mentioned this before, but constant inspirational/motivational/feel-good quotes, annoys me. Every once in a while, sure, grace us with your positively inspiring optimism. Every 3 hours, how about, not. Put your positive attitude into something less annoying, like drawing a rainbow, or skipping.
21. Finally, people who act like they're better than Facebook. Please. No one is better than Facebook.
(Note: This wasn't meant to offend, just inform. Get over yourself.)