Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Random Slice of Life

A few hundred things...

-I am such a baby when it comes to pain.  I have zero tolerance.  If I stub my toe I curse and yelp about the pain for a good solid 10 minutes.  I'm such a boob.


-Because of aforementioned tolerance levels, I currently want to slice off my arms with a butter knife.  Because yes, that would be an improvement.

-I can say with full and complete confidence that I will never like P90XEver.  I'm in pain induced tears after every work out.  Some days I'd rather swallow a sword.

-Yesterday I managed to throw away our awesome Pampered Chef can opener at work.  (I really wanted Spaghettios for lunch.)  The thought of having to drop $20 to purchase another one motivated me to drag my husband clear back to work and fish through the garbage to get it.  Totally worth it.

-Shawn did amazing in the Ragnar (188 mile relay race) - I'm super proud of him and his bad self.  I didn't want to spend another night by myself, so I more or less followed his van all night and morning - averaging about 2 or 3 hours of sleep that night.

-The lack of sleep and all the driving wiped me out.  I sat my fat {bad word} in a car most the time, and I was complaining that I was tired.  Bless my husband's heart for gracing me with his concern, when he was probably even more tired than I was.  We fell asleep watching Transformers at about 4pm.  We got into bed at around 5 expecting to just take a 3 hour nap or so.  Well, 16 hours later....  Told you we were tired.

-Speaking of passing out for 16 hours - I've been really tired lately.  It's rather odd.  I feel like an 87 year old woman, and that's not cool.

-On Father's Day I made two salads.  Look at me, all Betty Crocker and ish.  I'm a little bit regretful that I didn't take "Step by Step" pictures.  You know, like all those super bloggers do?  That way everyone could know that I know how to make stuff (So what if it was Dorito salad and Snicker salad - they're totally legit)... and that my husband doesn't in fact starve to death.  I feel a "Step by Step" Chelsea recipe post coming on.  Stay tuned.

-Yesterday an old dude came into the office and the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Well, you sure look pretty today!"  I was instantly suspicious - because how the stink does he know what I look like on other days?  And who the {bad word} throws out compliments like that without having established some sort of rapport?  I could have maybe taken the compliment a little bit better if his annoying factor wasn't comparable to Hannah Montana's.  I promise I'm not a selfish brat, I do appreciate compliments.  Just not ones from mental wacko senior citizens.  Just saying.

-You will soon be seeing a virtual tour of my pretty apartment.  Are you excited?  For the record, you aren't allowed to judge my wrinkly shower curtain or my laundry-gone-wrong bed spread.

-The Relief Society Presidency came over.  Luckily they are a little more organized than the Elder's Quorum, and forewarned us of their arrival - so we could make sure and fit "Put clothes on" into our schedules.  No awkward nut shots this time.

-I'm currently attempting to read the New Testament.  I figured I should probably have that in my repertoire or readings before I die.  Can you imagine?  "Oh hey, God.  No, I didn't get around to reading the entire Bible.  But hey, I did read all the Nicholas Spark books and Twilight - that counts for something, right?"  How embarrassing.

-Speaking of reading Twilight.  I guess that's sort of a lie.  I haven't read the last one.  So what did I do?  Naturally I just Googled the ending.  Because I wasn't going to read it before the movies anyways.  Go ahead and throw tomatoes at me for being a cheating loser.  Frankly, I don't give a flying fart.

-Another Twilight note: Please download the Twilight commentary from this website.  If you have a sense of humor whatsoever, you will be extremely glad you did.

-Speaking of losers - anyone still watching The Bachlorette?  Whoa buddy.  Kasey was absolutely hysterical - it was even funnier when he got left on a glacier.  Justin is a fag who clearly only has feelings for himself and winning.  Chris N?  Wait, he was still on the show?  What an awkward dude.  No wonder he only uttered a grand total of maybe 3 words before this last episode.  And was it just me, or did anyone else noticed how completely wasted Ali was at the lagoon place in Iceland.  Holy mackerel.

-Also in Bachelor land, Jake and Vienna broke up.  Who didn't see that one coming?  Tools.

Now the my post has been reduced to gossiping about The Bachelor/Bachlorette and lame pictures, I'm going to go ahead and end before it sinks any lower.

Cheers, internet.


  1. Chelsea, I have to tell you that I love reading you're blog. You crack me up. So have a new stalker.

  2. "I'm here to guard and protect your heart!" I would've shot myself if I had to hear that one more time.

  3. Ha lol. I'm with Paige, I was just thinking about crazy Kasey this morning and his stupid spiel. Creeper! I ♥ Roberto but I'm hoping Ali doesn't end up with him because she bugs me too bad lol.

  4. I totally want to see your apartment!

  5. Shawn did a 188 mile relay. What an A-hole, I am so jealous. I cant break the mile mark. Now I am pissed at myself. Guess I am going to have to work harder this weekend