Sunday, July 18, 2010

#186 Way to Die

I always feel like I have to have an "introductory paragraph" before I get into the meat of my post.  Sometimes I have absolutely nothing clever to say.  Sort of like now.  I have plenty of stories - so we'll see how carried away I get.

-Let's start with the weekend.  Remember that one time that I just about commit suicide in Bryce Canyon?  Yeah, that was the plan for this weekend.  The Bryce Canyon Half Marathon.  Except this time there was no way in Hell I had any intentions of participating.  The victims for this weekend would be my husband (again) and his little sister.  We took the oh-so-scenic 4 hour drive down there on Friday afternoon.  And by oh-so-scenic, I mean I would've preferred watching ice melt.  Okay, that's a bit harsh.  Utah is pretty with its mountains and cows and all.  But fellow Utahns, back me up.  It's a lame drive, for the most part.  I told Shawn to make a video of the scenery for those of you who don't understand.

(Pay no mind to my admirable double chin there in the beginning.  Oh, and Shawn's foot.)

Anyways, we finally got to our hotel.  And by hotel, I mean seriously disgusting motel.  With curtains that I'm certain were used as toilet paper once upon a time.  That, or target practice.  For real.

I'm just going to ahead and skip to the race, because everything in between is fairly insignificant.  We woke up at the butt crack of dawn so I could take some professional running pictures with a nice motel backdrop and then drop them off at the start line.  

After which I went back to the hotel room and packed everything into the car.  By the time I left to go to the finish line, I got stopped.  For an hour.  They were only letting one-way traffic go through.  So I sat on my toosh for an hour waiting for the Stop sign to turn to Slow.  By the time that happened, I knew I had missed Shawn running through the finish line - because he's sick, and runs like a mad man. Did I mention that I was waiting for an hour? I made sure to document proof that I didn't just go back to the room and sleep.  And don't worry that I sound completely sauced - slurred words and all.  Meet Chelsea, morning version.

(The van in front of me had an ad for their studio, "Curl Up and Dye" on their window.  Cute, but a little bit morbid for my taste.)

 (I even saw an entire sun rise.  That never happens.)

So, I did end up missing Shawn's big finish.  Again with the wife points.  We started driving the route that everyone had been running, and we came up on the very last person chugging along.  At the risk of sounding completely gay, I have to say that I got way emotional watching these people struggling at the tail end of the race.  Everything I felt when I ran the race last year came swarming back with full force.  Needless to say I felt like a huge loser.  Tearing up, while I sat on my ass, driving the same route everyone else was running.  Go hormone gadget, go.  Anyways, I did manage to drive past Shawn's sister, Janessa, making her way to mile 11.  

I finally got to the end and found Shawn with his cute little Finisher medal.  We both watched Janessa finish with full force, she did great!  I took some video, but half of it is aimed at the dirt, because I'm that good. 

Shawn got 2nd place in his age division. He finished a 13.1 mile race in an hour and a half. Want to know the insane part? He didn't train at all for this race. I'm positive that he could win this, or at least be in the top 3 if he actually trained for it. Way to represent the fam, love.

Here's some pictures and videos for your perusal and enjoyment.

(Janessa cracks me up.  For real.)

(Turns out Shawn's family is all tall and skinny.  I still can't decide what our kids are going to look like.)

(I told you I'm good at photography.)

Anyways, that's the Bryce Canyon trip in a nutshell.  I'm super proud of both of them - made apparent by my blatant bragging about my husband.  In efforts to keep my posts a little bit less lengthy, I'm going to keep my other super exciting stories for another day.  Please come back, internet.  You make me feel good.

Shalom, internet.


  1. An hour and a half? That's seriously fast. I mean, really. (Oh, Chels, I know exactly how you feel. I get the same feeling every time I go to a swim meet and am like, yep, used to do that but not anymore 'cause I'm too darn fat! It's a great feeling.)

  2. I have that same shirt that Shawn's wearing. Amanda should brag about that on her blog ;)

  3. That was a marathon of a blog post! :)
    I loved the documenting, well done!

    and well done to all those runners.... I did a 5K once. once.
    and only once.
    running is for the birds.

  4. Haha, "Shawn Milney!" :) That's awesome. That's so fast, too! An hour and a half?? Maybe I could run like a third of 13 miles in that amount of time... sheesh! And dang - an hour of waiting?!? You're a patient woman.

  5. Dang! Talk about kicking serious arse! 1 1/2 hours!? Crazy. Not as crazy as those curtains though. just.plain.wrong.

  6. 13 miles in an hour and a half. I am starting to not like your husband. That is bullsh***.

    Man that really pisses me off. I am so jealous of his fast running ass. PUKE.

    Your husband is a fast MOFO

  7. Those curtains are BEAutiful! Much like you, I would rather sit in traffic then run a race :)

  8. the fact that he ran it that fast is INSANE!!