Friday, August 20, 2010

My Husband Probably Deserves Some Sort of Award.

Dearest Husband,

I know I'm basically a butt-munch like 94% of the time.  And I'm fairly positive I drive you sort of crazy when I do things like fold the toothpaste tube instead of roll it, or leave my shoes all over the floor, or leave strands of hair all over the bathroom wall (even though I cleverly shape it into secret messages for you.)  I'm probably only kind of biased - but I think you're exceptionally kick-ass.

Thank you, for not divorcing me for openly swooning over the hot waiter at Texas Roadhouse.  And then for agreeing with me that the pants he was wearing totally ruined him.

Thank you, for hugging me when I snore - instead of punching a hole through my face.

Thank you, for coming and picking me up on the side of the road when, in a fit of stubbornness, I try to run away.

Thank you, for cleaning pretty much everything without me having to nag you.  Even if it's just because you are bored.  Or because your wife failed at maintaining a drawer of clean underwear.

Thank you, for creating a positive connotation with the word stinky and lovingly refer to me as your stinky butt.  

Thank you, for pretending like my failed attempts at cooking are the best thing since sour gummy worms.

Thank you, for letting me constantly write about you on my blog.  The internet thanks you - and loves you.

Thank you, for watching super lame TV shows with me - and providing a commentary judging the hell out of the cast, so I don't feel so lame.

Thank you, for still marrying me even though I've been pretty much a needy, emotional wreck of a psychopath in the past.

Thank you, for letting me get a puppy.  And for yelling at him when he poops inside, so I don't have to.

Thank you, for telling me I'm cuter than pretty much anyone.  Even though we both know that Jessica Alba is way hotter.

Thank you, for letting my feet get pampered by my favorite preppy Asians, even though we now have a grown-up  house payment.

Thank you, for working so hard to get our house looking perfect - and for putting up with my constant whines that it smells bad.

Thank you, for whispering sweet nothings into my ear every night and morning - even though I sometimes don't comprehend at all what you've said, due to being 90% asleep.

Thank you, for being patient with me when I'm not in the mood.

Thank you, for remembering to pray every night.  And occasionally throwing in some good classy humor that has to make God chuckle.

Thank you, for cuddling with me at night, and then knowing when to back off because I'm getting too warm.

Thank you, for occasionally innocently  throwing out a d or h word here or there - mostly because I think it's hilarious - and it makes me feel a little better about my cursing habits.

Thank you, for spoiling me rotten to the point that you let me get the chocolate covered granola bars, even though you like the normal (healthier) ones better.

Thank you, for making me laugh - until I pee.

Most of all,

Thank you, for being my perfect man.  For being a wonderful example to me.  For having all the patience in the world to deal with me complaining.  For showing me that you'll be a wonderful father someday.  For waking up at the butt crack of dawn to work hard to bring home the bacon.  For being the complete epitome of selfless.  And for loving me, even with as many weaknesses as I have - and managing to see my strengths where I see nothing.  I love you a million gummy worms, sugar.

I'll be your Stinky Butt, always and forever.



  1. AWwww :)
    I can relate to so much of that!

  2. You are just too cute! Both of you... I love that pic!

  3. Your husband sounds like a keeper! And wedding pictures where someone is getting felt up? Priceless.

  4. Picture won a snort from me.

    And I haven't heard the phrase "butt-munch" in a long time. Thank you, and I will add it back into my repertoire immediately.

    And you two must be so awesome in real life, cause gummy bears are sooo yummy.

  5. a husband who grabs your boob for a wedding photo is a guy who's a prefect match to your quirkiness!

  6. a cute and funny tribute to your hub. that photo made me laugh.

  7. That is so funny! Love the photo. And my hubby calls me "stinky." I love it!

  8. Haha love the boob grab wedding photo too! Great tribute to your husband!~

  9. Married life is so fun! What's better than having a husband who adores you all the time... and knows when to back off a little, because you're getting too warm in bed? Haha. I can relate to that :) Love it.

  10. That was so cute. Ya'll are so cute! Gotta go tell the hubby I love him, because when I was reading about you, I kept thinking I'm just like that. Your hubby's special and it's great that you know it. Have a great weekend!

  11. Awww I can so relate, although I'm not married...yet. :) Your husband's a real keeper.

    p.s. Your blog is great :)

  12. I only have 2 words. Wanna trade?? LOL

  13. aww. so adorable!

    the picture is priceless. :]

  14. Girl, you CRACK me UP! Hilarious, I tell you!

    Your man sounds super awesome. All women deserve that, especially bloggers :)

  15. This was so cute - you guys are adorable.

    And I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one with hair stuck to the bathroom wall!

  16. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha it's super late and im all alone in the kitchen laughing my face off at how hilarious this is! throwing a d or h word out really does make everything better. hahahaha seriously great writing and he's just as lucky to have you im sure :)

  17. Funny! You two look so cute together and it sounds like you have a great relationship. I think a thank you post is a great idea too!

  18. Yeah, he pretty much deserves an award. But don't forget, he picked YOU, so maybe you deserve an award, too :)
    (Oh, and who the HELL are all these people?)

  19. It sounds like you landed the world's biggest keeper! Congratulations! And that picture is (oddly) the most envious "couple" picture I've ever seen.

  20. Gah, I love reading stuff like this. It reminds me to focus on the things I like about Henry rather than all the crap he does that irritates me. Thank you for the inspiration!

    You guys are such a cute couple!!

  21. I love your post!! I think it is the wife's job to drive the husband crazy. And it is the husband's job to drive the wife crazy. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  22. Okay, that is the best picture. Ever.

    This was a great post!

  23. That is a funny F-ing picture. I could see myself totally hanging out with the husband at a strip club or something where Jessica Alba is. And if he is so great at all of those things.............What do you do around there. He does deserve something, I will send him a pair of my thongs.