Monday, August 2, 2010

Oh, Boy(s).

I somehow feel like if I had male parts - I'd find camping exponentially more enjoyable.

My reasons?

Boys kill bunnies and squirrels followed by a series of chest bumps and high fives. 
...Girls cry, hug each other, and sometimes throw up.

Boys have to relieve themselves, no problem - the world is their urinal.
...Girls hike 17 miles, dig a hole, squat and still manage to pee all over themselves.

...Or, the cool ones use this.

Boy's hair looks pretty much the same after a week of camping.
...Girl's hair looks like it's been fried by a toaster and combed with a block of butter.

Boys thrive on this:

...Girls, maybe don't.

 Boys can blow a skeet into smitherines.
...Girls are more likely to shoot the person standing behind them.

Boys think sex in the middle of the woods would be completely out of this world.
...Girls know better.

Boys can easily shrug off their piss awful scent.
...Girls are too busy using wipes and bathing in rivers to notice.

I use the term "Girls" incredibly loosely.  I may or may not be referring to my glamorous self for the most part - because I am aware that there are plenty of girls who love a good roll in the dirt.  And while I can manage smelling like a burnt turd for a few days, that's about my limit.  Just saying.

Oh, and I've never bathed in a river.  Or hiked 17 miles to pee.  Or had the privilege of peeing into a funnel. 

Just for the record. 


  1. The older I get, the less time I can stand to go between showers. By the time I'm 40, I'll just live in the bathroom.

  2. Hi!Popping by from BlogFrog! Youa re a braver soul than me on the camping thing. If I can't pee on something that flushes, or plug in a hair dryer..I'm just not interested ;)
    P.S Rent a cabin next time. Then youll have the best of both worlds. The boys can get their jollies stalking bears and "roughing it", and Mom can have a area to chill that doesn't have crawly things. Great post!
    p.s I the second the motion on Bethany's comment. Thus the reason at 44 camping is NOT in my vocab.

  3. That pee device has to be the craziest thing I have ever seen. I can understand the usefulness when camping, but the website says you should use it in bathrooms? Gross. Could you imagine... standing there at a urinal with a little pink funnel while some dude talks to you about the Red Sox? No thanks.

  4. Yeeeaaah... my husband loves to camp. I've never gone camping with him. I feel like at some point I'm going to have to cave on this and just go, but I am NOT looking forward to it. For all of those reasons you listed.

  5. Chels- I heard all about this camping trip from Russ and Ben. I am with you though. I would have cried seeing all of those bunnies and squirrells dead...oh and won't want to forget the deer. I heard it was just hanging around for awhile. Silly boys. I'm glad you survived this trip!

  6. you are just hilarious. complete kick in the pants!!!

  7. when i was a kid, my family used to go camping ALOT... we camped at the river. and we bathed in the river.

    when we first started the camping trips, we didn't have a tent so we slept under the stars in sleeping bags...hated it. when we finally got a tent, not so bad.

    i have peed just about anywhere you can imagine but to date haven't had to hike so far to do it...i generally find the nearest tree, bush, sign or car door that can provide a little shelter, squat, and go for it!

    now that i'm an adult...i could care less about going camping... and Coach is determined that we will be doing that soon! ugh