-I didn't shower today. So I pinned back my bangs - because they were a greasy hot damn mess. Turns out I have a forehead that is the size of a football field. However, according to some loser a-hole in my lobby it's not a big forehead - it's a receding hairline. Thank you, sir. Thank you.
-I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind. I can't remember a single daaaang thing. Today it's been especially worse. I'm positive I've made myself look like an absolute buffoon for my boss. Eff.
-I keep getting this sick feeling in my stomach. And I get hungry at the same time, but I feel like if I eat - I may or may not throw up. Sooo, I don't eat. It's probably God's way of telling me to slow it down on the food intake, or else I'll die a sad, obese death. Or maybe it's God trying to tell me that I probably shouldn't ever skip church to eat mountain man breakfast and German pancakes for breakfast. I'm such a failure.
-Remember that one time I completely charred my skin? Oh, and that other time I wore a black shirt to work when it started peeling off in copious amounts? So in addition to my hair looking like I just returned from a 6 hour workout at the gym - I also look like I have a heck of a dandruff problem. Along with a severe skin discoloration issue. And leprosy. Basically I'm hot.
-My younger brother is dating my husband's ex-girlfriend. Is that weird to anyone else?
-I won tickets to the John Mayer concert at the end of the month. I'm going to be completely honest, I had no idea what I was going to win if I called. But whenever I hear, "Be the 10th caller!" - I call. I don't really listen to John Mayer exclusively outside of what they already play on the radio. So I didn't like, wet myself or anything. I got entered to win "VIP Backstage Passes." I hear Mr. John is sort of a scum bag? I'm not real sure what exactly I'd say to him. "Hey man, I hear you like sex... a lot. That's cool." Winning is grand.
-Those eggs that were on our porch? They definitely hatched. Biggest. Babies. Ever. I have a picture - but I don't have my camera with me. So I guess you'll have to suffer. They power washed our deck today. Shawn and I are seriously concerned that there are going to be dead birds on our deck when we get home. Here's to hoping baby pigeons love a good power wash every now and then.