So I was perusing through some of the terms that people have Googled that magically led them to my blog. There are some pretty amusing ones. And ones that make absolutely no sense. People Google some weird crap. I've picked out a slew of my favorites to share - along with commentary - because I'm fun.
Buttcrack blogs by girl
(A blog purely dedicated to butt cracks? Must be golden.)
Who laughs at nut shots?
Have people really died from P90X?
(There are a TON of people who Google "P90X Death." A TON.)
(WTF? I don't even want to know what comes up when that is Googled.)
Chelsea is a poo
"Fiber One" fart gas
Can bears smell ham?
(I imagine that my blog popped up on page 104 of this particular search. Ham?)
Poo poo on my hand
(Who the heck Googles 'Poo poo on my hand?)
Bears can feel menstruation
(Yes. Most menstruating creatures can.)
Effects of menstruation on bears
(Anyone gathering that this particular post gets all sorts of hits?)
Do high class hookers pole dance?
(I wasn't even aware there even was such a category of hookers. Just saying.)
Low ogestrel and burping
(Is there even a correlation? Really?)
Mega boobs rica.com
(Sort of awkward.)
Armpit hair women full body
(I don't even understand what this person is trying to figure out? Is there armpit hair all over her body? Gnarly.)
Pole dance fat thighs
(Again, what were the intentions of this fellow Googler? I'm not sure I even want to know, but I doubt they found what they were looking for on my blog)
Menstruation doesn't smell right
"She rips off her shirt" movie
Low ogestrel gives you big boobs
(Is this a broad search, or what?)
I smelled someone on their menses then I began mine
(Thank you. Google appreciates this small gem of knowledge.)
A physco who stalks people at giant
(I sort of love that this search brought up my blog as a result, somewhere. Kind of hilarious. Kind of sad.)
Wasn't that enlightening? I love how every search is borderline, if not totally, inappropriate. That probably doesn't reflect so well on my blog. Except for I know pretty well what specific posts they were probably led to with most of those searches. I promise I talk about stuff other than periods, poop and farts. Perhaps my goal should get search engines to find me with terms such as, "Inspirational stories" or "How to be a better person" or "Motivational blogs" or "Reasons to be happy." But lets be honest, the chance of that happening is just about as great as Britney Spears remembering to wear underwear. I'll just stick to the butt crack, nut shot and pole dancing stories - because the reactions I get are priceless. And because I know the internet loves nothing more than to read about all the detailed aspects of my life that all the other Bloggers are too
scared classy to share.
Anyone ever find your blog with a totally awkward search term?