I went to the CIRCUS!
See! That's me! At the circus! Squeeeeeee!
In the last few years, every time Ringling Brothers came into town I would automatically morph into 7 year old whine fest mode about how I've been deprived of the circus my entire life and I. want. to. go. It obviously never worked out until this year. I told Shawn that we were going on a date, and that hot flexible girls, fire breathers, and motorcycles would be involved - sounds manly, right? Anyways, it didn't take much prying because he knew I'd become absolutely unglued if he didn't let me go. Because what kind of person hasn't been to the circus at least once in their lifetime? All I knew is that I didn't want to be that person.
Anyways, Shawn got us some tickets (and then lied to me about them being sold out, which almost brought me to tears. That's how excited I was. Internet, tell my husband to stop lying to me to get a reaction. It isn't nice.) and we invited a couple we hang out with - both of whom mentioned they were absolutely terrified of clowns - to come with us. Scared of clowns... Circus.... Good match. (I really don't understand the fear of clowns. Or rather, coulrophobia. (Who knew? Thank you, Google.) I realize that they can be scarier for kids, but adults? I don't know. Anyways, I digress.)
So I wasn't really sure what to expect from the circus. I didn't know if it was going to be completely aimed at small children, or if adults would actually enjoy it too. I crossed my fingers that it was the latter.
And boy, was it ever!
Let me show you, via pictures, why I will be attending the circus every year until the day I die. The pictures are compliments of my responsible friend, Angela - who doesn't leave her camera in the car.
This was the beginning. Lots of singing, and twirling, and clowns. I shrieked with joy when I saw the elephants walking out. Grabbing Shawn's arm and pointing, as if he didn't already see them.
And of course the stilt dudes. They breathed fire at one point. Because they're cool.
Is this guy the pimp of all elephants, or what? I don't think I've ever wanted to join the circus so badly in my life until I saw that chick riding the elephant. Can you imagine telling people that you ride elephants for a living? Yes, please.
After practically wetting myself upon seeing these perfectly trained animals. I all of a sudden wanted to trade Toby in for an elephant. That's legal, right?
This part made me laugh pretty hard. Does that make me cruel?
At this point, Shawn and I started acting out what some of the elephants had to have been thinking... I'll go ahead and let your imaginations fly with this one.
Congo line? Elephants are officially my new favorite animal. Maybe Shawn will let me get one.
We totally didn't get a picture of the break dancing elephant. He was standing on his head and everything. Gosh, I love elephants.
Then there were some lions that did some pretty awesome things, I mean, for lions. They weren't nearly as cool as the elephants. But we all can't be as cool as them. We narrated these guy's thoughts too. Narrating animal's thoughts makes the circus 17 times better, for the record.
This tiger hopped. It hopped. I'm going to teach Toby how to hop.
This was the "strong man" of the circus. He supposedly was lifting about 1,200 pounds there. You can't really tell, but he's holding up a massive weight (that three dudes had to carry out afterward) with his legs, and another with his arms - and there's two girls hanging off the side and another chick is climbing to get on the top. That was crazy.
The bionic brothers were sort of dreamy. Strongest. dudes. ever. I think even Shawn was turned on. Okay, not really. But they were amazing.
Yeah. Do that.
I can't remember what these guys were called. Something about a crazy freak ballerina who could split any way you wanted her to.
Here she is again. Balancing on another dude's legs. Ain't no thing, she's super ballerina.
These were the body benders. They could bend about 800 times more than even the ballerina. It was kind of sick.
Um, holy abs of mother loving steel. Good glory. I couldn't help but imagine that they had to have fantastic bedroom escapades. Yeah, I'm mature.
Here's the motorcycle on the rope. And the chick dangling off the bottom. You know, whatever.
Then they brought out the entire farm. Ponies, llamas, a dog, and all sorts of good stuff. And of course, the beloved elephants.
Oh gosh. I almost forgot the midget. He made appearances in pretty much every portion of the show. How could he not? He's a midget. Who doesn't love seeing a midget running around the circus? It's pretty much perfect.
These dudes jumped on the funnest trampolines in the world.
And this was the end. Sniff.
I think you get the point, that the circus is pretty much the ish. There was stuff that we didn't get pictures of, like the seven motorcycles in the ball cage. Or the trapeze artists. Or the dudes that did flips on a super teeny board. Or the dudes that did flips on stilts. I could even manage the cheesy songs, because the rest of it was so damn awesome.
I don't even care that I acted like a 9 year old the entire time. I. loved. it. The circus protesters that were standing outside the building can shove it, because it is awesome and I will go again. As should you, Internet (obviously I mean you should go to the circus, not that you should shove it.) If you haven't been to the circus, do your inner child a favor and go. Or take your kids. Heck, I'll take your kids.
The circus hella rules.