You know a post is going to be good when the first thing you see is a puddle of puppy pee.
Remember when I was super stoked about getting a puppy?
I'm having an episode. Rather numerous daily episodes where I sort of want to punt Toby clear to the next zip code. Now, don't get me wrong. I love Toby. But good holy frack he can be the most annoying creature with legs that I've ever met. I know that he's a puppy, and his divine duty is to annoy the living daylights out of me. But seriously, that blasted son of a dog is going to give me a damn ulcer.
His activities include, but are not limited to:
-Peeing on the floor at least twice a day - without warning.
-Destroying shoes, slippers, and any kind of footwear. (Sorry, Angela.)
-Biting my leg when I walk across the room. Might I add that he has machetes for teeth.
-Chewing not one, not two, but three laptop cords. Rendering two of them useless.
-Chasing bugs that he'll never catch.
-Eating dead birds/mice he manages to find on our walks.
-Drinking out of the toilet while my husband pees into it.
-Barking incessantly at inanimate objects. Brooms, windmills, lights. You name it.
-Biting people's ears if they get right up in his face bubble.
-Shredding any piece of paper/tissue/paper towel into a thousand little pieces.
-Spreading aforementioned paper/tissue/paper towel pieces from Hell to breakfast.
-Eating his dried up poop.
-Barking at little kids like they were the very spawn of Satan.
My patience is waning with that dog. I've directed almost every curse word in the book towards him at one point or another. Because, I'm a classy dog owner.
It's a good thing he still has the fact that he's adorable going for him. And in all reality, he actually is a really good puppy. It's just hard to focus on the things he does right, when 2 seconds later he pees all over the floor, or rips a hole in my pants.
Kind of dark. But he kept getting his head stuck in Shawn's work shoe. I thought it was hilarious. He chewed on that thing for a good solid half hour.
There's really only one thing that makes me nervous with this whole puppy trying my patience experience...
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the worst mother ever.
If I can't handle a barking/peeing/stubborn puppy, how on God's green earth will I handle a screaming/pooping/helpless baby. I can't very well curse and shun it to the shed in the backyard.
Gosh I hope I don't ruin my children.