Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Few Things to Avoid This Halloween Season

1. The Mist

Worst. movie. ever.  Seriously.  Have any of you seen this?  Terrible.  And I even slept through about 75% of it.  But I got the gist - giant ass spiders that eat people, mist, people killing themselves, oh, and the worst ending in the world.  Bah.  Just don't even go there.

2.  Bobbing for apples.

It's gross, and you know it.

3.  Sexy costumes that shouldn't be sexy. 

Since when did this:

Turn into this:

Seriously, world?  Sexy Nemo?  What's next - Dora the Hooker?  Please.

4.  Passing out lame, cheap candy that no one is going to eat.

My husband actually digs this stuff.  But I was always depressed when I found it in my pillowcase back in the day.  Barf.

I realize this doesn't really apply to me anymore.  But I'm almost tempted to say you're better off turning off your lights and pretending you aren't home rather than pass out gross hard candies.  Or fruit.

5.  Spending more than $10 on a haunted house.

I always walk out of haunted houses wondering why on earth I paid anything to walk through it.  I'm probably just lame.

6.  Going to costume parties without a costume.

No one likes that person.  Don't be that person.  At least wear a fun t-shirt.

Be classy Halloweeners, Internet.


  1. So excited for Halloween! Good post, sexy nemo is an absolute no-no!

  2. Halloweeners is a great word.

    Amen on The Mist. My sis told me not to go there earlier this year, and I didn't listen.

    This year, I bought a whole bunch of Fun Dips to pass out. Kids will love me. Until I run out. I fully expect to be egged.

  3. Bit O Honeys ROCK. Dum dums and smarties can take a hike.
    Yeah, love what Halloween has come to: your one chance to whore it up without raising eyebrows.

  4. You and I might end up scuffling over The Mist. I think it's actually a fantastic movie, with a brilliant and tragic ending. The real villain in the movie wasn't the monsters, it was ourselves. The whole thing was deeply symbolic, especially hearkening back to the middle ages when Christianity brought us into the Dark Ages, but, then it's ironic, because they ended up being the ones who made it through it all. Seriously, I love that movie, and I can have an hour long discussion or a dissertation or something on it.

    But enough of that... I've never actually bobbed for apples. Is it sad that in 23 Halloweens now I've never, ever done that?

    And lame candy is the worst thing ever. :/