Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I Super Love Publishing Posts WAY Before I Mean To

So I started writing a huge post about Christmas last night - and then got bored of it and decided I'd bring the video camera to work today and finish it there. 


I forgot the video camera, naturally.

So, just so the post sitting in my drafts doesn't end up being entirely too long, I'll tell you what our Christmas gift highlights were this year.  And I realize that Christmas isn't about the presents, but c'mon - who doesn't like presents?  It's like when you're 8, and you set up all your presents so all your friends and family can come over and ooh and ah at all your awesome gifts.  Except I'm doing it virtually.  Because I can.

Shawn got...

A ping pong table.  
(A ping pong table that I might have accidentally dropped on his head while we were about finished setting up.  Causing it to break.  I cried just a little bit.  Luckily it was repairable.  I don't know why my husband lets me touch any of his stuff, honestly.  Especially things that weigh as much as an effing elephant.)

A crap ton of power tools.
(Rarely can you go wrong with buying a man tools.)

A man chest to put all of his man tools in.

An electric can opener. 
(Because I was worried that if he tried to use our Pampered Chef can opener one more time, he'd have to go to therapy.  Seriously.  I've never seen an object cause such mental hysterics as the can opener did with my husband.)

Sexual innuendo magnets for our fridge.
(Honestly, did you expect much less?  I might have bought these more for myself, than for him - because I thought they were hilarious.  Except I don't think my husband quite grasps the "innuendo" part.  Go ahead and guess which sentence is his...)

Super subtle, husband.  
Not to mention, marginally inappropriate.  Sorry mom.  And family.  And everyone else, for that matter.

Just a small sample of the colorful words we have to work with.  With the exception of like, two words - they're all totally appropriate.  
A hand warmer.
(Because his hands are always freezing - and I thought it would be more effective than making letting him warm his hands up with my blow dryer.)

TV Trays.
(Because the coffee table is for our feet.  Obviously.)

I got....

My elephant ring.
(Remember that elephant ring from Kohls that I totally lusted after?  He lied to me the entire time, telling me he hadn't got it for me because I'd never wear it..  I squealed like a 5 year old girl who just got an entire Barbie collection, when I opened it.  Then I cracked a joke about how I liked it more than my wedding ring.  Needless to say Shawn wasn't a huge fan of that joke.  Obviously I was kidding.)

Note that I am wearing it.  At work, no less.
Also, can you imagine getting punched in the face with that thing?  Ouch.

A Chi flat iron.
(I've been asking for one of these things for ages.  Yet another gift Shawn told me he "forgot" to get.  There was no way he forgot.  I was constantly telling him that's what I wanted.  And when I'm annoying about something, you don't forget it.)

(This was probably the best gift I received from my husband.  I had no idea it was going to be done.  A family friend did it for free, so we weren't rushing him to get it finished, because he was immensely busy with other things.  But it turned out absolutely phenomenal.  We watched the entire thing on Christmas morning, and I bawled like a little baby.  And because this isn't just an "average" wedding video, I'm going to see what I can do to chop it up into little viewable pieces so you guys can see exactly what I'm talking about.  And I promise you won't be let down!)

The complete Friends series.
(I absolutely adore this show.  And you better believe Shawn and I will be starting from disk one, and moving our way through all ten seasons.  Chandler is officially my favorite.  Just in case you were wondering.)

A purse.
(Normally my husband has an absolutely terrible taste in purses - but I was actually impressed at what a good job he did at choosing one I liked.  The inside of the purse I have right now is down right abysmal.  Exploded lotion, melted milk duds, and scattered Mentos.  It's time.)

 8,948 tubes of chapstick, Mentholatum, and lip gloss.
(Okay, not really.  But I cannot stress what a chapstick/Mentholatum/lip gloss whore I am.  My lips turn to ashes without them.  And I realize Mentholatum isn't necessarily meant for your lips.  But try it.  Instant lip gloss.  Plus, I'm always losing them - now I don't really have much of an excuse.)

(What is Christmas without clothes.  This was the only gift I actually knew I was getting.  Mostly because, well, I picked it all out myself.  Shawn knows I'm way too picky to buy without prior approval.)

Bar stools. 
(Who knew I would be so excited to get stools for Christmas?  Ah, growing up.)

Anyways, needless to say we were very blessed this Christmas.  Especially from family, friends, and people at work.  Our parents were extremely generous, and I couldn't be more grateful for them.  Christmas is such a wonderful season - and not just because we get elephant rings and ping pong tables - but it gives us a chance to give.  It gives us a chance to think about and help people who may not have as much as we do.  And it gives us a chance to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas - to reflect on Christ and all that He's given to us.  To step outside the commercialism of it all, and absorb all our blessings.  How would the world be if we were in the Christmas spirit year round?  (Minus the Christmas music, obviously.  Because one can only handle so much of that.)  I'm personally grateful for the gifts that my Savior has given me - and think they're worth more than any amount of material gifts I could ever receive in a lifetime.  My goal is to always keep that in mind, and to pay Him back by paying it forward to people around me - friends and strangers alike.

That said, I think we can agree that the length of this post has hit a maximum.  So I will bid you adieu for now.

Hope your holiday was awesome!  And don't forget, I'm totally still not done with telling you about my Christmas.  So try not to be too excited.


  1. Friends + Mentholatum - what more does a person need?? I love those. :) Phoebe always cracks me up... but they kinda all do. Definitely one of the best shows ever made! We're nearing the end of season 7 - then, who knows? Back to disc 1, perhaps... Ooh! I'm excited for you guys to watch them all :)

  2. LOL. I love the sexual innuendo magnets. That's amazing. Greg would totally do that, too. Ah, men.

  3. i can't wait to see wedding vid snippets. :)
    glad you had a fabulous Christmas. ours rocked too. i gave seth an intro-flight with a flight instructor...and the time counts towards flight hours for when he eventually gets his pilot license. (he cried, it was great!)
    daisy got a real-live cellphone (no more prepaid cell that we used like allowance). it's a pantech version of a crackberry. she's smitten.
    seth got me a new purse too! and i'm picky about those, but this one is perfect entirely! so proud. :) he also got me a 1 hour massage, and a session with my favorite hair lady! he scored major.
    k, hugs. i'm off to bed. feeling like crap and all achy, etc.

  4. Know what I got for Christmas? A facken shiny new toilet. I know. Be jealous of me.
    Our toilet crapped out (pun intended) a few weeks ago and since my husband likes to think that he's a Bob Villa he tried to install it himself and totally eff'ed it up. We spent more money fixing his mistake than the actual cost of the toilet. What does this have to do with your post? Nothing. I just wished that I got dirty magnets and an elephant ring too ;)