Friday, April 30, 2010

So this one time...

I woke up at 3:00 in the morning because my bed was shaking. 

Um....  What?

I finally gain enough consciousness to realize that no - I didn't need to gather all our cherished belongings because we were experiencing a fatal earthquake - Rather, my easily-awakened husband was stricken with side-splitting laughter next to me, past the point of him being able to breathe.
Naturally, I snap at him for waking me up at 3 in the morning, then ask him what is so blasted funny.

Turns out, I made a funny snoring noise, and he just happened to be awake to hear it.
 I feel like I must lose some sort of Lady Points for snoring.  If I were a dude and snored, ain't no thing - totally normal.  What is it with this standard of girls having to sleep and look/sound totally flawless doing so?
Ugly man sleepers, unite!

p.s. YouTube made me feel totally better about my snoring.  Just saying.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Graduation! ....or not.

So basically I feel like a big old loser for not graduating this semester.  Every chick my age and their freaking mom is graduating within the next few weeks - but alas, I am behind due to financial set backs (Just in case you thought I was a total slacker.)  So this blog will not be on the glory that is graduation, like every single other blog.*  You will not find montages of me in a cap and gown or whimsical musings of how I just can't believe my college career is over forever.  Yeah no, that will be in winter - in theoryThis blog is going to be exactly the same as every single other one of my blogs.  Excited?  Dang skippy you are.

-That "dang" you just read, wasn't always a "dang."  Raise your hand if you're impressed.  Not swearing is hard.  Good thing Shawn is a lovely example of being perfect.  When I curse he looks at me like a mother would look at her kid after he peed in the sink.  Okay, so maybe it's not that bad.  But I always feel a little sheepish.  Unless, that is, I stubbed my toe or ran into a wall or something.  Then it's totally legit.

 -I made taco soup.  All by myself.  Well, if you're not counting the cookbook.  Words can't describe how effing proud of myself I was.

-So you know how people (see also: women) are always joking around about how girls are always right?  It doesn't matter what a guy says, or even if the chick is wrong... she's still right?  Turns out, it's not true.  That, or Shawn is a woman.  He's (mostly) always always always right.  It drives. me. crazy.  I feel like the biggest tool when I tell him all confidently that he should turn left, when he had said we should turn right.... And find out that we should've turned right after he's already turned left.  It's even worse when he knows I'm wrong and he still does what I say... I can't decide if it's cruel of him or just flat out sweet.  He's convinced that I just say or do the opposite of everything he says or days, just for the sake of argument.  The sad truth is is that it's probably not far from the truth.  Why is arguing so much fun?  And I don't mean that yelling and screaming and hating each other arguing - I mean the frivolous, back and forth, I'm right-you're wrong, bickering.  I think I crave to be right so often, that when I don't have any clue what the answer is - I do say the opposite of whatever Shawn says.  It gives me a 50% chance of having my neener neener moment.  I relish in neener neener moments.

-I just finished writing a 12 page paper.  Why am I blogging?

-I have a double chin.  Good holy haggis.  I have a double chin.  If anyone has any remedies for the double/occasional triple chin - please save my face the sickening tolls of gravity.... You know, or fat.  Whatever.  Did I mention there's cellulite on my toosh?  Yum!  You know when you hear someone say, "Oh yeah, so and so chick from high school - she's put on some major pounds."  Whenever I hear someone say that, I'm automatically paranoid that somewhere, someone is saying the same exact thing about me.  "Oh that Chelsea chick.... beached. whale."  Okay, so I'm just being dramatic.  But seriously, I would love to lose like... 15-20 pounds.  Because I feel like it's all in my chin and my ass.** 

-Remember my death paranoia?  The other day I turned on the TV and there was this show on about husbands who totally lost it and killed their wives.  Well that never occurred to me.  Haha, joke.  Then Shawn and I were watching this show that had all these really stupid ways of people dying - some guy was driving a steamroller drunk on the job and didn't put it in park to get off and go use the restroom.  Yeah, that douche got steamrollered in a porta-potty.  I probably shouldn't watch shows about death... But I'm strangely drawn to it - as totally creepy and morbid as that sounds.  I think I mostly just like how they end up figuring out that the dude killed the chick or whatever.  It's the CSI stuff that interests me.  There's a show called Snapped about chicks who totally lose it and kill their husbands.  Crazy psychotic people.  I can't even imagine.

-Shawn and I went to the wrong ward on Sunday.  Apparently they just barely split our apartment complex in half and naturally the internet didn't point us to the correct half.  This ward had 120 kids in the primary.  And at one point they excused all the youth (and I still, to this day, have no idea why), and half the congregation was gone.  So many kids.  Lots of super cute babies everywhere.  Needless to say my ovaries were kicking.

*Date Night = Hilarious.

-Our apartment is almost ready to have its picture taken.  Maybe I'll even give a good ol' virtual tour... Because I know you guys wanna.  Then you can feel jealous that your apartment will never be as cool as ours.  Holler.

-I invested in a PedEgg.  Yes, those things are just as nasty as they look on TV.  I threaten Shawn with sprinkling my foot gratings into his salad if he pisses me off.  Aren't I a gem of a wife?

-Lately I've been eating anything that isn't nailed down.  So first this birth control makes me not want to eat, and now all of a sudden I want to inhale Thanksgiving twice?  What the heck?  Maybe I should just forget the birth control and have 28 kids?  Because that wouldn't make me fatter....

-Shawn is already starting to look like a Mexican from being in the sun all day while I'm trapped under florescent lighting all day.  Aren't offices grand?

Okay I'm totally just rambling now.  That is all.

*By the way, I mean no disrespect to those of you who did blog about graduation - I clearly couldn't be any more jealous.  Party on dudes. 
**Swear word necessary.  I'm upset.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Problems Solved.

So remember when I talked about all the things that worried me beyond belief about marriage?  Well let me just give you a nice little update...

-He used my loofah.  I punched him.  Problem solved. 

-He hasn't used my toothbrush... yet.

-Turns out I'm not the smother queen in bed.  No, that would be my husband.  He loves to snuggle when I'm dead asleep.  Remember how I like my space?  According to Shawn whenever he tries to spoon or touch me, I punch him and turn away.  I swear up and down to him that I have absolutely no recollection of this, as every time it happens I'm whisked away in dreamland (you know, dreaming about having dead babies. Sad.)  I'm pretty sure it hurts his feelings.  But I don't mean to punch him away.  The feeling of hot breath on my face while I'm trying to sleep, is not one I enjoy though.  So, I'm sure we'll figure something out.  

-We have Skim and 2% milk, and Mayonaise and Miracle Whip.  Problem solved.

-Shawn isn't on the couch in the morning because of my snoring.  No, instead he wakes me up to inform me that I'm snoring.  Every morning I wake up with a vague recollection of Shawn telling me I'm snoring.  My absolute most favorite time was when he said, "Chelsea, you have mastered the art of snoring."  I remember thinking in my mind that I wanted to kick him in the balls for waking me up to make fun of me.  But being that I was only 2% awake, I didn't.  He's learned now that if he cuddles with me, I stop snoring.  So he doesn't inform me of my snoring habits anymore.  He snuggles up close.  Which probably usually leads to him getting punched away - oops  As much drama as there is during the night, I still love being able to sleep next to my wonderful husband, it's totally radical.  Problem solved.... sort of.

-I definitely get my alone time when Shawn's at school.  Sometimes it's a little bit too much alone time, and I get lonely.  But I usually can find something to do.  Problem solved. 

-Virgin marrying a virgin, sure the acrobats of it all were a little awkward at first - and occasionally still are.  But, bluntly put, sex is magnificent.  Problem solved.

My new worries consist of:

-Having dead babies.
-Shawn dying.
-Hating our new ward.

Legitimate fears?  Probably not.  But, you know, whatever.


Monday, April 19, 2010


I wish I could be more clever than just bulleting out my thoughts - but I'm not, so whatever.

-Our apartment is coming together nicely.  Sure, the dominant colors in every single room are red, black, and white - but it looks gooood.  Shawn thinks he's going to hang a huge BYU flag in our room to counteract all the red in our house.  Shawn thinks wrong.

-Our downstairs neighbors jam all night long.  I now feel fully vindicated turning on my washer after 10pm.

-I finally made my first historic trip to Ikea.  That place is like freakin' Disneyland.  Shawn and I decided if we went there every day and walked through twice, it would equal a gym workout.  Sheesh.  We got some furniture from there though, so hopefully it won't crap out on us anytime soon.

-I'm taking a Theories of Human Development class at the U, and last week we talked about death and the grieving process.  My teacher talked a lot about how she lost her year old baby to ongoing heart problems when he was only 1.  Oh my gosh.  Ever since I've been ultra paranoid of Shawn getting in some freak accident and dying.  I'm not freaked out for my own death, it's the death of someone that I love.  Yesterday Shawn and I were listening to some Soft Sunday Souuuuunds, and some song came on about how this guy's kid was dying and he was praying to God and blah blah blah.  And I bawled.  Naturally Shawn was like, "Oh my gosh, you're crying, why on earth are you crying?"  So I go on to tell him that I don't want him to die, and I don't want my babies to die, and I have this all-encompassing fear of my family dying.  Poor Shawn.  So we change the station, to the other Sunday channel, and there was another song playing about a kid dying.  What the hell, radio?  To top it all off, I had a dream last night that I had a stillborn baby.  Paranoid much?  Oh, and did I mention it's sugar pill week?  That may explain the tears.  Don't play heart-wrenching songs about babies dying when I'm menstruating.  Just don't.

-We were supposed to get our wedding pictures back on Friday, but obviously didn't.  Sooo.. Stay tuned.

-We are going on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera in less than a month.  I could not be more thrilled.  However, I seem to now only own a plethora of bikinis - thanks to my lovely husband - and not many suits that I'd actually prance around in.  Awesome.  No one needs to be blinded by the light that is my white self - I need a scuba suit.

-I made my first real dinner for Shawn.  It wasn't extravagant by any means, and I didn't take a picture cause it wasn't all that pretty.  It was simply rice and sauce with chicken in it.  But ask my family, that's an accomplishment for the girl that never cooksAnd I made a chip dip that Shawn totally loves.  I feel like a successful wife already.

-Calling myself a wife makes me feel old and decrepit sometimes.  You know, the whole week and a half that I've been a wife.  Want to know what's weirder?  Sister/Mrs. Milne.  You must be mistaken, Mrs. Milne is my mother-in-law.

-In my efforts to fulfill my old and decrepit calling of "Wife," I may or may not have perused the Martha Stewart website and it may or may not have completely annihilated the homemaker portion of my ego.  Who has the time to make 95% of the stuff that she does?  If you ever want to feel crappy about your craft/cooking/art/decorating skills, pay Martha a visit.  She'll gladly oblige.  Almost as bad, are the numerous craft/cooking/budgeting/I'm better than you blog minions.  I'm actually not as jealous that they're perfect in all things crafty, as I am that their blog gets read more than mine does.  You mean to say that people like thrifty crafts more than the bitchings of a newlywed Mormon girl?  Too bad.  Some day I'll come up with a completely genius idea of a website/blog.  Someday.

Let's keep it short for today, eh?  Stay classy, internet.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Post-Wedding Life

(This post won't have any pictures, because, well, I don't have them yet.)

-So we finally got married last Thursday, and boy was it the most perfect day ever!  The entire day was absolutely flawless (with the exception of our totally awesome choreographed dance music not playing loud enough).  The temple sealing was beautiful, and I surprised myself by not completely crying off my make up.  It was such a strange sensation to hear the sealer tell us we were sealed as husband and wife for time and all eternity.  And I say strange in the most perfect and best way possible.  

-The reception was amazing.  Everything turned out even better than I had imagined in my head.  We are so grateful to the people that showed up and congratulated us on our marriage.  I was floored at how many people kept showing up - I honestly thought that line would never die, and well, it never did until we forced it to.  Naturally I started to panic that there wouldn't be enough food.  But meh, I think it all turned out.  I only got a bite of the ice cream, and the bite I had was yummy - so I'm assuming that the rest of it was as well.  I loved how the ice cream bar turned out though.  It looked amazing!  My family hung all the lanterns and they looked perfect!  If you weren't there, it was awesome, and you missed out.  

-We stayed at Little America the night of our wedding... It was awesome!  They carved a cute little key with our names on it and the date of our wedding and had little chocolate covered strawberries that looked like tuxedos and a bottle of sparkling something or other. And for all those of you who I know are dying to know, I'm pleased to announce I've discovered my secret talent.  

-The day after we sped home to our apartment where all of our presents were.  Not even thinking twice about how I guess you're technically supposed to open them with your family.... Oops.  We walked in and it was like freakin Christmas in our apartment.  Tons of gifts everywhere!  So we opened all of them like little 5 year olds, squealing every time we got a new set of casserole dishes.  It was fun to place bets on how many measuring cups we thought we'd have by the end of everything.  I'm pretty sure we ended up with 5, don't even worry.  We only got 2 crock pots, which I was pretty impressed with after having heard of people getting nine for their wedding.  As far as appliances go, though.... you name the appliance, we probably have it.  I'm pretty sure my favorite ones are the belgian waffle maker, the ice cream maker, and the special 3-in-1 sandwich maker.  Awesome.  Trying to actually find room for all these things, is quite the task.  But we're managing.  I seriously can't get over how thoughtful everyone was in getting us gifts.  People who I wouldn't have ever expected to get us a gift (uh, Mrs. Slade?) surprised us with gifts... And vice versa.  I'm really appreciative of all the support.  I realize that times are kind of hard, so to come up with a gift or money isn't always easy.  But just know, we are grateful for everything!

-Anyways, so we spent that day putting all our crap away (during which Shawn notes that I have way too much crap... but he still loves me.  Phew.)  Then we trekked over to our honeymoon for the weekend.  I had absolutely no idea where we were going...   It ended up being that Swedish Resort in Midway, Zermott I believe it is called.  It. was. awesome.  The room was gigantic - had a kitchen, a jetted tub, a couch, two tvs, and a fireplace - and well, a huge awesome bed with 9,000 pillows on it.  The best part of it all was that it was a wedding gift from someone in Shawn's ward.  Hellooooo amazing!  Anyways, we had a blast walking around completely butt naked, because we could - drinking some sparkling apple cider that we brought, which later gave us both a nice episode of diarrhea because it was apparently too old (I know, how romantic?)  We had  the funniest bubble bath of my life - putting bubbles in a jetted tub is not exactly the brightest idea in the book kids.  The bubbles were growing at a rapid rate and inches away from totally spilling onto the bathroom floor.  Oopsie.  Hilarious.  Sorry about the graphic mental images, but they're totally funny, you gotta admit.  Anyways, it was the best honeymoon I've ever been on!  It was so much fun to just get to be wish Shawn constantly.  

-Monday we spent a crapload of money on groceries and things we needed for the apartment. Shopping with gift money is totally fun.  Now that I have all these freakin casserole dishes, I'm bound and determined to fill them with only delicious things.  This means I need to learn how to cook.  Oh dear.  The first meal I made for Shawn was a sandwich.  Oh yeah, a sandwich, because I'm that good.  In my defense, he said it was in the top 10 best sandwiches he's ever had.  I'll take it - I make a pretty damn good sandwich.  The next night he made me a frozen pizza!  We're far too good to each other.  Try not to be too jealous of our insane kitchen skills.  If you come over, we'll use our culinary genius and whip up a batch of chips and salsa or something.  Nothing but the best for our guests!

-Furthering our efforts to tempt people to be our friends and hang out with us, we got cable for our awesome flat screen tv.  Now you want to come over, right?  

-The only thing that I'm not a huge fan of in our apartment is the fact that you have to walk through our bedroom and our closet to get to the bathroom.  I guess it'll be good in the sense that I won't be able to leave heaps of clothes everywhere... or other fun party accessories.  

-Anyways, our apartment is still a mess, but it's getting really close to being semi-presentable.  I've loved spending every moment with Shawn.  It's been complete wedded bliss.  Except for my hormonal moment when he informed me that I didn't rinse of my cereal bowl.  That lasted all of 5 minutes, because he's just so gosh dang wonderful and cute that I can't stay mad at him.  Even though the rules of PMS say I'm totally allowed to. 

-So if you ask me, "How is married life?"  It's great.  It's wonderful.  It's amazing.  It's perfect in all it's imperfections.  I have to crack up every time one of Shawn's newlywed buddies has said, "Dude marriage rocks!"  Because you know what they actually mean to say is, "Dude sex rocks!"  Because, well, it does.  I've married the most perfect and amazing man ever and am thrilled to be able to wake up with him, bad breath and all, every day for the rest of my life.  I'm relieved that he doesn't care about my love handles, or my rolls, or my cottage cheese butt, or my completely dramatic meltdowns - he loves me exactly the way I am, and I wouldn't change a thing about him.  I think our marriage will have it's ups and downs, just like everyone else's, but I couldn't be more happy to go through that with my Shawn, for the rest of eternity.  :)

It just occurred to me that I might maybe need to change my blog address.  Poo.  Chelsea Milne still sounds so weird to me.  Again, I mean weird in the best way possible.  :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Tale of a Pole Dancer

Once upon a time Miss Kaisa threw me the best bachlorette party ever!  We went to a pole dancing class in Ogden (don't worry, the dance studio is building one in Midvale for our convenience.... So maybe we won't be a half hour late next time.).  The class was many things, but mostly I just found it beyond amusing.  I couldn't stop giggling the entire time to save my life.  We get there and there is some blonde girl with a killer body and booty shorts clear up her crack and hooker heels like I've never seen before.  As soon as I figure out she's going to be teaching us the fine art of pole dancing, I know there is no way I'm going to take this seriously at all.  We get into this dimly lit room, with 6 poles just waiting to be violated.  She begins to explain to us that this a class for "fitness".  Right, and am I supposed to believe that you wear your pretty hot pink slut heels to the gym, too?  She asked us what the occasion was for and I told her I'm getting married, she asked where at and I told her the temple.

"Fitness Instructor":  Oh we get tons of temple girls in here all the time, and they're always a little bit iffy about it - just have fun with it.

Us: Heh... Heh.. Heh..

"Fitness Instructor": I'm a primary teacher.  I even asked my bishop, and he said as long as it was for fitness it was okay.

Us:  Blank stare at the apparently justified hooker primary teacher.

So she tells us to all grab a pole and ready, set, go.  She teaches us how to walk like a stripper.  I mean, like someone who's trying to work out their legs.  (Just in case you're wondering, you walk with the inside of your knee facing outward, in a slow and seductive manner.)  I'm already on the verge of wetting myself because I feel like the biggest tool ever, trying to seduce the pole with the inside of my knees.  Then she starts teaching us the "spins" - oh. my. gosh.  I died of laughter every time she taught us a new one.  First we learned "The Fireman" - creative name, eh?  She turns on some "work out music" (See also: baby making music) and we grab our pole as high as we can and swing our left leg around and hook our feet together and BAM, we're doing The Fireman.  She tells us to do it a bunch of times, because we obviously suck or something - and she's clearly irritated that we're not taking her fitness instructions seriously.  (And by we, I mostly mean I.)  She then teaches us "The Martini", and naturally looks like the most graceful stripper ever when she does it.  Then in all my pole dancing glory I hop on my pole, and attempt The Martini - only to well, fail - and slide down the brass pole with my clammy fat thighs.  Good thing we weren't trying to be sexy or anything, because the noise my thighs and that pole were making, would turn off anyone for a decade.  I tried a few more times, while absolutely laughing my face off.  Then we learned "The Cheerleader"... Enough said.  We practiced all our special spins n' stuff and occasionally I'd make up my own super classy moves.   

Then she announces that we are going to now learn some moves to make us feel more cute and more like a woman!  The great thing about these moves, she told us, is that we could to them on a pole or on a wall!  So you know, when I'm at work and need to burn a few extra calories - I'll just get up and do a stripper grind against the wall - totally professional, right?  Or, if I'm feeling extra manly one day - just find a wall - instant estrogen!  Anyways, she proceeds to show us the most slutty "work out" I've ever seen.  Pretty much consisted of swaying our hips and poking out our rear ends as far as they'd possibly go.  Oh, and in slow motion, you know, because it works the muscles more......  So I violate my pole a little more and feel bad for not buying it dinner first.  Next move:

Step 1: Spread knees
Step 2: Drop it like its hot
Step 3: Get pole in between knees
Step 4: Hump

Okay, so maybe that's not what she called it, but that's what we were doing.  I felt completely immature as I crack up every time a thrust my butt up in the air and images her bishop attending her work out class flash through my mind.  She then combines all the moves we've learned into a "cute little routine".  I might've called it something different, like maybe... foreplay?  (Okay okay, it wasn't that bad... But still.)  So she turns on the song "Rude Boy" (which I hate) 900 times while we learn our cute routine.  I think my favorite part of the routine was when we got to "freestyle" around the pole.  I'll let your imaginations run with that one. 

We finally perfect (or not) our stripper routine and our time is almost up and I hear her say, "Well I'm going to have to take off my shirt to show you these moves."  I'm instantly paranoid that I'm going to have to lose my shirt as well.  So she rips off her shirt so she's just in pretty much underwear and a bra - sporting the most perfectly sculpted abs and most amazing rack ever - instant ego killer.  But then she starts climbing clear to the top of the pole, and does spins and goes upside down, slides down on her stomach - and all sorts of things.  That's what we're in store for if we get to the advanced pole dancing lessons.  I can pretty much 100% assure anyone that if I ever advanced in any pole dancing classes, I would surely die of head trauma or pole burns. 

That about finished our class time, and she took some pictures for us - you'll see those later - and we practiced on the pole she had been using.  And it was a total cheater pole.  It automatically spun - thaaaat's why she looked like the world's greatest stripper and I'm over in the corner slowly sliding down with my sweaty thighs tightly gripping my pole. 

And that, my friends, was my pole dancing experience.  All joking aside, it was really a lot of fun.  I can officially cross pole dancing off two lists: The To Do Before I Die List and What My Secret Talent Isn't List.  We finished off the night eating weenies (See also: Lil' Smokies), Better Than Sex cake, Martinis and chocolate covered strawberries.  Then I opened my gifts, nice and raunchy.  Then we had a little male entertainment, compliments of the male strippers on the movie, The Full Monty.  (We only saw half of the monty, I'm still getting married in the temple, don't worry.)  Then, of course, the night ended with endless pieces of sex and marriage advice.  I appreciate everyone who made the time to come and celebrate with me and help me feel better about my wedding night.  ;o)  Oh, and for Kaisa for throwing such an amazing party!  

In other news, 
I'm getting married in less than 2 days.  

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Oh man...


-It is so crazy to be able to say I'm getting married in a week.  Sheesh

-I'm glad that Mother Freaking Nature is getting all this crap weather out of her system now rather than next Thursday.  The 10-day forecast promises sunny weather and highs of sixty degrees!  Hooray!  Not that you can really rely on the weather forecast, but, whatever.

-However, the fact that it's been sorta off and on crappy weather is making our video kind of hard to shoot, but it'll still turn out sweet, so I'm not entirely worried.
-I'm going through the temple today!  Kind of nervous, very excited.

-Still haven't done my bridals, don't even worry.  My aunt and uncle are doing them though, so I'm not entirely worried.  I still don't have the jacket back from my dress.  Talk about drama.  I've never been one to be a "bridezilla", but holy cow... This lady that was altering my dress sucked.  She did my dress just fine, but we were going from a size 14 to a size 6 - so she made the jacket too small.  So I took it back and it was still too small the second time.  So I took it to her house, where she just glared at me like I was Satan and in a huff said she would try to fix it.  So she drops it off for me to pick up at the store, and I do, and it still looks bad.  So my wonderful aunt calls and complains in the nicest way possible and we are directed to the "head seamstress".  My mom and I show up to meet this other lady and devil seamstress was there too, so it was already a little awkward.  So as the nicer lady is looking at it, devil lady comes in and starts having attitude as per usual, and my mom totally rips her a new one.  "You know what, I don't appreciate your attitude at all.  We spent a lot of money on this dress, and it needs to be perfect.  You have treated my daughter like crap - haven't even looked at her once since you've been in this room... You need to do a better job..."  Yadda yadda yadda.  Pretty sure I just stared at the floor the entire time.  It was so awkward.  The other lady just made excuses for her and said that "Some people have customer service skills, and other people don't."  Seriously?  Moral of the story is, if you ever get a dress from The Perfect Dress and need it altered, do not let Donna do it.  She's is the bitch of the century... Just sayin.

-Anyways, we're just pulling some last minute details together, but other than that we're pretty much ready to roll!

-We get to start moving into our apartment today, and I'm pretty excited!  I actually hate moving, but Shawn has been all packed for a good solid 2 or 3 weeks.  Needless to say he's looking forward to the move as well.  

-I realize that this post is all about wedding stuff thus far.... It's probably still not the end of it however.  Sorry.

-Everyone has been asking me how I'm going to decorate our apartment.  And the answer is very much, "I have no idea."  I'm not much of a "decorator".  I'm more of a sticky tack pictures up on the wall in a huge unorganized sneeze of a collage.  However, I'm quickly learning that I'm digging the red and black theme.  But it being an apartment and all, there isn't many options.  Especially when none of our furniture matches.  That is going to drive me nuts.  I want to go on a huge splurge and buy new everything so it will all match and look pretty.  But alas, new furniture is expensive.  

-I'm getting a red bump thinger on my ring finer right under my ring - it's making me paranoid that I'm allergic to it.  Hopefully it's just like... a wart.... or something.  (#84 thing I never thought I'd say in my life.)

-So pretty much all the presents I've (ahem, I mean, we've) been getting have been AWESOME.  I'm so excited to organize it all.  I'm impressed that we have only gotten 2 crock pots so far.  I have a friend that got nine.  Absurd, right?  We've received some pretty awesome stuff from everyone... I should get married more often.  ;o)  My only qualm about the whole business of showers and such is that complete awkwardness of it.  I never realized how awkward it is until I was in the hot seat opening everyone's presents.  Everyone gets all silent and just STARES at you waiting for some pleasant surprised expression of, "Oh my gosh!  Cookie sheets!  I have always wanted cookie sheets!  These will go wonderfully with my oven mits!  I can't WAIT!"  I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been happy with every single gift I've received so far - but I'm always paranoid that I'm not going to give the reaction the gift-giver is looking for.  Am I alone?  Or was it awkward for anyone else, too?    

-We're going on a cruise in May.... And I need it to be May.... now.  *Whimper*

Yeah I've been writing this for about 3 days.  I'm just going to end it.