Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wednesday Post. Yay.

If I don't start doing something semi-productive at work, I'm going to pass out.
And since I don't feel like dusting my desk for the 8,943rd time - I'm going with the all-elusive bullet blog.

-My lady doctor's people called yesterday.  I wasn't really sure why.  Then they started talking about tests they had run on my "samples."  I was sure they were going to tell me I had cancer.  Because, you know, I'm an all-star at assuming the absolute worst.  Turns out they were calling to tell me I officially had a UTI.  .....You don't say?  I tried my best not to be a complete smart ass on the phone.  I politely told her that my doctor had already written me a prescription for said UTI, and that everything was good.  She asked me if I was actually taking the prescription.  No ma'am, I enjoy feeling like I'm peeing fire.  Good grief.

-Our bishopric made an appointment to come talk with us last night.  Since we decided we didn't need another Elder's Quorum surprise visit on our hands, we decided to heed the sound advice of my 9 year old sister to "make sure and not be naked when they come."  We both made sure we were completely dressed and had all our underwear on.  We made sure the lube was in hiding, and that the completely tasteless sentences on our fridge were covered.  I'm proud to say that the only awkward moment during the visit was when Toby decided it'd be awesome to pass the most ungodly smelling wind ever.  And of course I had to announce that our dog had farted, because heaven forbid the Bishopric think that anything that offensive would ever come from my husband or I.  Which then led to me blabbing on about Toby's gas habits for the next 5 minutes.  Classy.

-I had a dream last night that I had two babies, and they both died.  I hate dead baby dreams.  I always wake up super depressed.  I think my dreams might start getting even more depressing once I actually have kids to worry about.  I already worry about my husband and my dog.  If I'm in the other room, and everything goes silent - I have to go and make sure they're still breathing.  Talk about paranoid.  My mom told me that when I was a baby, and she'd wake up before me, she'd sit and plan my funeral until I woke up.  So I suppose I come by it honestly.

-I started school.  I'm taking Social Psychology, Personality Theory, and Human Sexuality.  I'm pretty sure I'm most excited for the Human Sexuality class, because I'm mature.  Well, and we learn things like how way back in the day, men used to go out into the ocean and cut their penises with coral so they could bleed every month like women.  Snort.  WTF?  The professor told us that she usually does a game, where she has everyone right down a sexual term that they are uncomfortable hearing or saying, and then she points to random people and has them yell it as loud as they possibly can, multiple times.  You know, so we can get a little more comfortable with sex lingo.  I'm kind of glad we didn't play that game, because I couldn't think of a word I'd feel uncomfortable saying.  Anyways, as long as I avoid the clan of super, like, totally annoying sorority girls - and always remember to sit behind the chick that writes weird notes to herself (like, "Sex is of the devil.  I hope she gives us homework.") for sheer entertainment, then I think I'll be just fine.

I'm going to leave it at that.  

Life really is good.


  1. Ah yes, I remember the awkward bishopbric visit well. They all three squeezed onto my one tiny couch upstairs because we didn't have a couch in the basement yet.

    And I hear you on the paranoia thing... if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't feel the baby move for awhile I have to shake my belly to wake him up. Then I can't go back to sleep until after I'm sure he's still alive in there.

  2. Two cents time, lol. Common dream theory is that babies are not literal offspring, but projects or ideas that need nurturing. Not sure if that helps or not, really, but maybe it can tone down the paranoia a smidgen? (Trust me, I get it that way, too: worst case scenarios-r-us!)

  3. LOL at the Human Sexuality class. They used to call it "Porn for Breakfast" at my university because they only offered it at 8 am. ;)