Thursday, February 24, 2011

So, I May Have Gotten a Little GIF Happy.

So remember that one time I told you I had exciting news?  

funny gifs
I definitely laughed at this one for like, 8 minutes.

Granted, it's probably more exciting to me than to any of you.  But nevertheless - I'm going to tell you all, because I can.  Are you ready?

*Drum roll*

I gave my notice of resignation at my current job.  WOO!

funny gifs


Because I got a job with [Insert airline here].  WOO!

Yeah, so sorry if you were hoping that I was going to tell you something... more exciting.  Like that I got my own reality TV show, or that I won the Publisher Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, or that my husband bought me an iPhone for my (less than a week away) birthday.  Cough.   But eh, what can ya do?  While the job isn't super glamorous - it has a crap ton of super awesome perks that not very many jobs offer.  I think my favorite ones are that I get to work from home, in my pajamas and the free airfare for me and the fam.  Yahtzee!

As super excited as I am to be able to work in my pajamas, I'm kind of nervous.  Not because I think it'll be hard, or that I won't be able to remember all the information - but because I absolutely hate change.  Just ask my husband.  Or anyone who knows me, really.

I still buy the same brand of jam my mom has bought ever since I can remember.

I rarely try something new things at restaurants I'm familiar with.  If I ordered it once and liked it, that's what I'll always order.  You know I'm feeling extra crazy when I order something besides a turkey sandwich from Subway.

I have the same email address and password I had when I was in seventh grade.

The URL of my blog is still my maiden name.  (Sorry, husband.)

I hate moving.  Even if it's moving from an apartment to our very own house.

You get the gist, right?  I'm not big on going out of my comfort zone. You know, that, or I'm just lazy.  But I think I'll go with the former.  So even though I hate the thought of leaving a job that I've been with for two and a half years - this will be a good opportunity for me.  Hopefully.

I can honestly say that even though I feel (and look) pretty much like death, and even though I'm about to explode from all the drama at work, and even though I've entered about 84,000 contests to win an iPad with little success, and even though I've crossed the "overweight" threshold on the stupid $#@$@%@#$ BMI chart - I'm really pretty happy with my life.  I would have it no other way.  I'm a very lucky girl!

Hope you had a super Thursday!

Friday, February 18, 2011

{Insert Relevant Title Here}

Konichiwa, Internet!  

I know my posts have been boring and sporadic lately.  
It's really just a test, to see how much you really like me.

So since it's Friday, and no one likes using brain power on Friday - I'mma bullet this baby out for you.

-Our Valentine's Day was actually fairly low key.  Which I am totally cool with.  (Even though at one point I was positive that every "first" holiday with my new husband had to be EPIC.)  My husband surprised me with dinner when I got home from work.  Candles, music, bubble baths... You know - typical Valentine's Day foreplay.  We ended up at WalMart, because we're all about keeping Valentine's Day high class - and bought some super healthy snacks.

You know, or not.  (My favorite part of this picture is the bottle of Excedrin on the Samoa ice cream.)  We stuffed our faces in true holiday fashion while we watched The Bachelor in our sweats.  Our first V-day was simple and relaxing.  Perfect.

-Speaking of the Samoa ice cream...  Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.  I kept hoping that with every spoonful it would get better - but it just didn't.  You know an ice cream is bad when the chunks aren't even good.  You know I'll still eat it though.  Because when you let ice cream go to waste, the terrorists win.

-My husband and I just watched the first season of Modern Family.  Best. choice. ever.

-I got bored one day and decided to paint my fingernails.  I rarely paint my fingernails.  In fact, I think the last time they were painted was when I was like, 13.  Why?  Because within the first day, this happens:

I had three colors to choose from.  Pink, black, and sparkly. Check out my emo-fabulous self.

And it drives. me. crazy.  I can't stop thinking about how my fingernails don't match.  My OCD goes into over drive, and I peel it all off. Same thing happens when I get acrylic nails and one of them breaks off.  I like my ish to match.  

-My little sister had her birthday party at a place called Karaoke Cafe.  It's a neat little place where families and whoever can come to, you guessed it, sing karaoke.  Shawn and I classed up the joint with a little rendition of "Baby Got Back."  It wasn't until the words, "that butt you got makes me so horny" came out my mouth that it donned on me that the song choice probably wasn't all too appropriate for a bunch of 14 year old girls.  Oops.

-Today is my parent's anniversary.  I've reminded myself every day this week to remember to wish them a happy one when today arrived.  Did I?  No.  Child fail.  Happy 24th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!  I lover you TONS!

-My birthday is soon.  Like 12 days soon.  If you want to send me a present - I won't stop you.  I want Pajama Jeans - because, hello.  It's pajamas in stealth mode.  Pajamas you can wear to work on Fridays.  Pajamas that trick everyone.  You're like a walking optical illusion when you have Pajama Jeans.  I must have them now.  Or in 12 days.  You know, whatever.

-My pervy dog chewed through the strap of my most expensive bra.  And then I killed him.

That is all, dear friends.

Peace and blessings.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

How to Suck at Valentine's Day

Note: When you hint to your husband that you got him an iPad for Valentine's Day, and hand him this:

He will not be even kind of amused.
Just in case you were wondering.

Hope ya'll had a fabulous Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I've Got Skillz

So, as I was mindlessly putting off studying for my test tonight - I ran into a fun handwriting meme on someone's blog.  (PS - where the eff does the word 'meme' come from?  And how do you pronounce it?)  Anyways, because I'm clearly the current captain of the I-can't-think-of-anything-even-remotely-interesting-to-blog-about team, I decided I'd participate, even though I wasn't tagged.  Gasp.  I take pride in my handwriting.  I think the smaller it is, the better it looks.  And, that's what she said.  (Hi, I'm 14.)

But seriously, I kind of dig my handwriting - and think someone should pay me to make it a font.  That happens, right?  It really is small, which makes it hard for some people to read.  But that's beside the point.  When you're just glancing at it from far away, it looks good.  



These are the questions I was supposed to answer in my own handwriting...

1. What's your name/your Blogger name?
2. What's your blog's name/URL?
3. Write "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
4. Favorite quote?
5. Your favorite song?
6. Your favorite animal?  (I changed this one, because I don't really have a favorite band/artist.  OOPS.)
7. Anything else you want to say?
8. Tag 3-5 other people

See?  That was fun.  
Now you do it.  

Monday, February 7, 2011

This One is Boring. REAL Boring.

So I've been totally putting off the blog, mostly because nothing overly exciting has been happening.  Like, at all.  Unless exciting in your world equals me getting a steak sandwich at Subway, rather than the usual turkey sandwich.  Or wax lady waxing my eyebrow in half.  Or me sleeping through the entire Super Bowl.  Or the government raping our bank account.

You see?  Obviously my life is just way too riveting.

I may actually have some exciting news in the near future - but until I know it's a for sure thing, I probably shouldn't jinx it on my blog.  And no, it has nothing to do with any new developments in my uterus.  Sorry.

I've sat here for about 10 minutes trying to think of something interesting I can blog about, and the only thing I'm coming up with is that I had a dream that I stabbed my husband.  But I only did it, because I had to, and I knew it wouldn't hurt him.  I don't remember much more than that.  Super pleasant, right?  Meanwhile, my husband is having the baby dreams.  Except his dream babies don't die, they coming shooting out of my baby maker, bouncing on the floor - and then are walking and talking within hours of being born.  Hello.

So I'm just going to go ahead and leave it at that.  Because let's be honest, this is boring.  And I have a test to study for.  Sigh.

I'm alive.
I'm (really) happy.
And I still like reading comments.  Cough.

So tell me about your weekends/lives/dreams - I'd bet 20 bucks they're more interesting than mine.  Ain't nothing like vicariously living through the Internet.  


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Winning is Better Than Pretty Much Anything

Ah, Tuesday.  The day with 39 hours.  Or so it would seem.  Seriously, do Tuesdays seem super, extra way longer than all the other days?  Nothing is more depressing than looking at the clock thinking 3 hours have passed, and only 23 minutes have passed.  Okay, so there might be more depressing things.  Like 3 legged dogs, and Smith's running out of Coconut Dreams.  But, seriously.

Anyways.  On with the funner stuff.  (Why can't funner be a word?  Everyone uses it.)

Congratulations to the super lucky winners of a special handmade present from ME.  I still have no idea what I'm going to make, but I have a feeling it will be different for every single person.  Because, why not?  So, if the following people could kindly email me your mailing address (I promise I won't stalk you), your favorite color, your favorite animal, and really anything that will aid me in sending you something that won't end up in a charity bin the next day - that would be lovely.  You can email me at  Yes, the email I've had since 7th grade.  Obviously I'm awesome.

Angela Noelle
Kate Rowan
Meg O.

*I'm pretty sure I've got your address down.  ;)
**Fertility beads?  YES.
***I like you.  So even though you aren't "playing"/were the 11th comment, I'll still send you a special present.

For the rest of you that are pretty depressed about not getting a homemade present - fear not!  I'm thinking about doing a special "Things I Love" giveaway for my birthday (inamonth)  - and I'll send you some of the things I LOVE.  How fun am I?  You want to win that one, because you know there will be Coconut Dreams in that package.  Yahtzee!  

(On a sort of related note, anyone aware that they have Samoa ice cream!?  Just in case you haven't caught on, that's like Coconut Dream ice cream.  Oh.  Em.  Gee.)  

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a very covert way that I can study for my Human Sexuality labeling test at the front desk.  If the next post you see on this blog is entitled, "Why You Shouldn't Study Human Sexuality at Work," you'll know I failed.  

Happy February, Internet!