The honest truth?
I'm lazy. The first thing I want to do when I get home is sit on the couch. Apparently sitting on my ass for 8 hours a day in an office is just too exhausting. And in my own defense, in a really weird way, it can be.
I'm addicted to taking pregnancy tests - even when I know I'm not pregnant.
I may or may not calculate what my due date would be if I were to magically get knocked up on any given month. (And just in case you're wondering, last month's date was 11/11/11. I win.)
Most women complain that their husbands don't help out around the house enough. I complain that my husband won't stop cleaning. Wife points.
I don't think my dog likes me - which has me inexplicably paranoid that I'm going to be a terrible mother.
I can't wait to have our house completely to ourselves. I will sex as loud as I want, gossip as loud as I want, and listen to music as loud as I want.
I feel like I've gained 1,800 pounds since high school - and irrationally fear that people notice and talk about it.
Still have dead baby dreams - and dreams about ex-boyfriends. In fact, I think I've dreamed about every dude in my life except my husband.
I have a completely physical crush on my company's IT dude. It's a little inside joke with me and the work girls - and if they ever told him, I'd die a little bit inside. It wouldn't make him any less sexy though. Rawr. (Oh, hey husband, I LOVE YOU.)
I am perfectly capable of consuming an entire package of Coconut Dreams within the span of a few hours. Which is unfortunately more depressing than it is impressive.
I think Glee is turning into a terrible show. They're trying to prevent reckless alcohol and sex shenanigans? Really? No wonder there are twenty eight pregnant girls at the high school I went to. Twenty eight.
I am so ready to be done at this job. But am mildly nervous for the new one I start in a week - not because I don't think I can handle it - but because I'll be working very different hours than I'm currently working - and we all know how I feel about change.
I finally figured out Twitter - and I kind of like it.