Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Survey Time. WINNING.


It's amazing how much less I'm on the internet, now that I actually am doing stuff at work.  And by doing stuff, I mean sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day for three weeks learning how to correctly do my job and trying my darndest not to punch a certain irritating, know it all brown noser in my training class square in his man treasure.  Nevertheless, I obviously haven't showed the blog much love lately.  And unless you want to hear me pout about my deprived uterus, I'll grace you with, yet another, all-elusive survey.  When I probably should be writing a paper for school.  Rejoice.

Three Ways I'm Still a Kid
1. I laugh at farts.  Or any bathroom humor, really.
2. I throw the occasional temper tantrum.
3. Takes a lot of convincing for me to do my chores.   (The saddest part of this, is it's the one my husband came up with.)

Three Ways I'm Already Old
1. I start getting tired at 9pm.
2. The thought of having to go to a high school reunion gives me anxiety. 
3. My butt is 75% cottage cheese.

Three Things I Want To Do
1. My husband would be immensely disappointed if I didn't have him listed here.
2. Ride an elephant.
3. Have babiesssssssss.

Three Ways That I'm a Stereotypical "Boy"
1. Nothing says "I'm a dude" more than my sexy manstache.  Or the fact that I may or may not have used my husbands electric razor to tame said whiskers.  Embarrassing?  Only kind of.
2. I read/text/Tweet/check my email all from the comfort of my toilet.
3. I may or may not occasionally snore like a freight train.

Three Ways That I'm a Stereotypical "Girl"
1. My toenails are always painted.  
2. I blame virtually everything on PMS/birth control/my uterus.
3. My ovaries do back flips every time I see a baby.

Three New Things I Want to Try in the Next Twelve Months
1. Friends.  Preferably fat ones.  (All my friends are skinny ass little twigs.  C'MON.)
2. Florida. (Thank you, jobthatgivesmefreeflightbenefits.)
3. Babiessssssss.

Three Things I Like About Myself
1. My ability to sleep like a rock.
2. My spelling/grammar skills.
3. My excellent choice in husbands.

Three Things I Strongly Dislike About Myself
1. My flabby areas.
2. My laziness.
3. The fact that I'm taking so long to do this survey while my husband does the dishes.

Three Things That Scare Me
1. The Amazon River
2. Dead baby dreams
3. Showering at night when my husband isn't home.

Three of My Every Day Essentials
1. Toilet paper
2. Naps
3. Husband

Three Characteristics of the Opposite Sex That Appeal to Me
1. Good sense of humor - as in, they think I'm funny.
2. Romantic.
3. Okay with being wrong.

Three Things I Just Can't Do
1. Win any sport.
2. Cook.
3. Pee standing up.



Happy Tuesday/Wednesday/You know, whenever.

8 comments:

  1. Gawd. I could have written that survey.(Including the 75% cottage cheese....ahem.) How wild. Don't worry, you aren't the only one.
    Kate
    www.idreamloudly.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaha... oh my goodness, this made me laugh. A lot. And I identify with so many of your responses! Oh well, I still think you're awesome ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHA...manstache. I won't lie...I have one of those too. Damn my Italian genes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are probably one of the funniest people ever. Too many to comment on, but the shaving with the electric razor takes the cake (mostly because I do that, too!! LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha. Babiesssssssss. You are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Husbands??? Didn't know Mormons were into that kind of thing anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my gosh...funniest post I've ever read Chelsea!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, Chelsea. This is your WWF BFF. I didn't realize you were also my blogging soul mate until now. We are very similar.

    I'm off to the bathroom now where I shall check my email.

    ReplyDelete