Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Google: Helping People Feel Better About Their Lives Every Day

Have you ever been Googling something and notice all the things that drop down underneath it that other people have searched?  (Also, are we loving that Google is a legit verb now?  Even if you're searching on Bing or something, you aren't Binging, you're Googling.)  Anyways...  The drop down box is my favorite.  Because when I'm not enjoying all the inappropriate search terms that bring random creepers onto my blog, I love seeing what kind of weird A stuff comes up when I start typing something.  Sometimes it's depressing.  Sometimes it's hilarious.  Sometimes it's creepy.  And sometimes it just straight up makes you feel better about your life.  Seriously.  Don't believe me?  Check this out.

Bet you're glad your husband/wife/significant person doesn't hate you.

Bet you're glad you have a job.  And if you don't?  Bet you're glad that you're more productive than the guy who talks to Google all day about what sounds like the absolute worst job in the history of ever.

Sure, we're all glad our neighbors don't deal drugs.  But are we all feeling just a tiny bit scared for the apparent crap ton of Googlers with zombie neighbors?  How do they even have time to Google?  RUN.

 I can't bring myself to say, "Bet you're glad you don't live in a giant bucket."  Because, I know there's a few of you who would love nothing more than to tell people you live in the bucket on the corner.  (And if you're as curious as I was at what that search term brings up, go here.  Weirdest thing ever, amiright?  Keep clicking, and I promise they'll just keep getting weirder and weirder.)

Well, I know I'm glad my mother in law is none of these things.  I suppose I can't speak for all of you... But I think we all knew where Google would take this lovely search.

I suppose this one speaks for itself.

See?  Sometimes even a little perspective from fellow Googlers will help you realize that things could be worse.  Even if an area of your life does fall under one of those searches, at least you aren't Justin Bieber.

I kid.  Kind of.

And if this doesn't work (not that I recommend using this as a regular coping mechanism, but you know), Google Image works wonders when you think you're having the acne breakout from Hell.  I may or may not know this from experience.  (Cough lookhereifyou'rehavingabadzitday Cough)  It reminds me of when I was younger, and would whine about my "ugly days" to my mom - and she would pull up a picture of the most aesthetically challenged person in the history of people and say, "It could be worse."  (So I come by the downward social comparison honestly, see?)

So whenever I have somewhat of a downer day, it's easy to remember that things could be worse - and as long as I'm continually trying to make them better, saaaa'll good.

Happy Wednesday/Thursday, Internet.
Also, don't judge the fact that I've written approximately 76,946 posts about Google search terms. Kthanks.


  1. Those zit pics are disgusting, I had no idea those search terms that pop up in google were things other people had searched: I just thought google was crazy/psychic, and finally, it kills me that you're young enough that your mother could "pull up a picture" for you when you were having a bad day. That didn't really exist in my day. So now I have to go make an appointment with a funeral director and pick out my burial plot. Thanks for that.

  2. I literally LOLed while reading this. I love this post!!!

  3. Haha, I LOVE THIS POST. I don't even know what else to say. I just love it.

  4. I love your blog.

    I seriously get the biggest kick out of seeing what comes out of the magical drop down box while using Google.

    I'm off to click that bucket link. I keep wanting to look, and then I hold back. I'm just going to do it.