Monday, October 3, 2011

I Have Good News. And I Have Bad News.

Good News: We found out that the mystery leaf monsters gracing our surprise garden are going to turn into Calla Lilies.  Who knew?  I was totally hoping that the mystery plants were Elephant Ears.  Because that's just awesome.
Bad News: The same guy who solved the leaf plant mystery, was also the same guy who quoted us $700 to fix our stupid garage - because it decided to be awesome and stop working completely.  Which is apparently the new theme of my life.

Good News: I had a dream that I made out with a really popular male artist, and he totally wanted my trash.
Bad News: It was Justin Bieber.  And I'm pretty sure that makes me a pedophile.

Good News: Monopoly at McDonald's is on.  And you know, trying to win something you have 1 in 5793753849758439 chances of winning is totally invigorating.  Kind of like Publisher's Clearinghouse, minus the weight gain and clogged arteries.
Bad News: We buy way more McDonald's, solely to get the Monopoly pieces.  Example?  Saturday I ate McDonald's for breakfast and dinner.  And I'm 98% sure I spliced at least 7 years off my life expectancy as a result.

Good News: New Girl.  Up All Night.  Whitney.  Modern Family.  Raising Hope.  Gossip Girl.  Big Bang Theory.
Bad News: DVR enslavement aside, all these shows coupled with my obsession with winning Monopoly, well, the bad news is fairly self explanatory.  

Good News:  It is incredibly easy to get time off of my job.
Bad News:  When you work at home, and someone offers you time off, you may or may not end up working a grand total of 3 of your 40 scheduled hours.  And then your husband will secretly judge you when you end up not even getting paid, because you only made enough to pay for your health and dental insurance.

Completely Irrelevant News:  Shawn would like the internet to know that the only reason he didn't put the salad away, is because it tasted like shi and knew no one was going to eat it.  And to that I say...

Happy Monday, Internet.


  1. You are so dirty, you pedophile.

    And I literally LOLed at the comment about losing 7 years of your life expectancy.

  2. Two boobs Johnson. Thanks again for the awesome General Conference binder!!!