Friday, December 9, 2011

Broken Crap, Christmas, and Meltdowns.

I feel like I can't start bulleting my crap out unless I have an intro. 

And an amusing, irrelevant GIF.

Thanks Llama  GIF - Thanks Llama

Much better.  And go.

-To add to the list of things that have broken in the last 3 months, we can officially put my laptop.  And by 'my laptop', I mean the laptop I stole from my husband when we got married and he got his Mac.  Before I was using the most gigantic Dell laptop you've ever seen that took a good half hour to turn on.  I digress.  The laptop's hard drive crashed for the second time.  We lost everything.  Luckily, most of it is replaceable - with the exception of some of the homework assignments in our Random School Crap folder.  But who needs that anyways, right?  I think the thing I'm most upset about is losing our budget that I spent hours on for last year.  The good news?  New laptop for me!  Hopefully one that isn't lava hot when I turn it on.

-My husband made a list of things he wants for Christmas - including, but not limited to, Spanish learning software, a hand gun, and those bouncy stilt things they have at the circus.  (Random?  Yes.)  Now, if we learned anything from last Christmas - I'm not necessarily a huge fan of getting people stuff they know they're going to get.  (Hello, ping pong table.)  What fun is that?  Shawn's picked out 85% of his gifts thus far, which I sort of hate.  And when he's not picking out his gift, he's guessing what the other gifts are under the tree (turns out pillows aren't very easy to disguise in wrapping paper).  The other day he told me I wasn't allowed to buy him anything else because we had to stay under a budget.  So I did what any rational wife would do, and more or less gave him the verbal finger and had a nice, Clomid-induced meltdown.  The meltdown had it's phases.  It started with, "You're ruining Christmas" then headed toward "I'm fat and hate my body" and then plummeted into "Why can't I have a babyyyyyyyyy?!"  Want to feel like you're losing your damn mind?  Pop a few fertility pills.  Anyways.  Needless to say, I fully plan on purchasing some really random gifts for the ol' husband.

-Sometimes I can watch Netflix while I'm working.  I saw that Vampire Diaries was on there.  And I didn't think I'd be able to get into it - because, um, vampires?  No thanks.  Bet you can guess the ending of this bullet.  I got sucked. in.  However I didn't get too far gone before dragging my husband down with me.  The fact that I've made him watch The Bachelor, Gossip Girl, and Pretty Little Liars with me gets me major wife points.

-Speaking of Netflix, I tried watching The Last Song, with Miley Cyrus.  And I seriously could not get past 6 minutes of it.  Something about that chick drives. me. crazy.  Oi.

-Currently my dresser looks like this:

It gives my husband a minor coronary every time he sees it.  I should be cleaning it.  But I'm not.  Because what's worse than putting away a bunch of laundry?  Well, besides Miley Cyrus.  This is usually the point when everything ends up in the dirty clothes.  Even though I can guarantee you 80% of it is clean.  That's just what happens when you try on 8 outfits and hate them all.  Men will never understand.

-So remember how I was all gung ho I'm going to be a Real Estate Agent!  Well, I am.  I'm officially enrolled in school - and can take the classes at my leisure.  As I look at the different chapters of the book, I know I'm going to be 47 different kinds of bored with a lot of the classes.  But oddly enough, I'm looking forward to it.  It makes me feel ambitious.  Like I'm actually doing something with my life.  Babies have always been my ambition.  Since I was like, seven.  So now that my ovaries are being little bitches, I had to find something to keep me busy.  So if anyone needs a real estate agent in the near future... PICK ME!

-Our downstairs neighbors are in the process of buying a house right now.  It's kind of bittersweet for me.  On one hand, we can be as LOUD as we want to upstairs, on the other hand the extra cash every month is pretty much awesome.  We haven't officially decided what we're going to do once their gone.  I'm feeling selfish and want my house to myself.  I'm sick of stifling heavy breathing with a pillow, or having to worry about my dog barking at midnight, or worrying about our super creaky floor waking them up downstairs.  However, we don't necessarily need all the space down there.  Not yet, at least.  So I guess we'll see.  Maybe we'll keep it to ourselves for a few months and go from there.

Okay, I really need to get my ass off the computer and clean something.  Or else my husband is going to be in the hospital with an ulcer. 


  1. ovaries = bitches. you = my rolemodel. men really just don't understand. also, when/if i ever see travis again (he's been in idaho working), we are doing that double date. i think it should involve eating a lot of dinner.

  2. aw. I missed you. Sorry about the bitchy ovaries. Punch them. WORKS EVERY TIME.

  3. Oy vey, that's a lot of broken stuff! I am glad that at least you found Vampire Diaries to help soften the blows that life deals, and I had the exact same experience with The Last Song. So bad. So, so bad.

  4. Men are a lot like vaginas....just saying. Always whiney and crap.
    If he's not doing anything constructive why doesn't HE clean the dresser?
    After all, you're trying to get your eggs to work.

  5. thank you for confirming that The Last Song sucked balls. i didn't even need to watch it to know that. but it's always nice to hear that my assumption was correct. :)
    i hear clomid is a bitch in and of itself. you'll be punching out babies in no time!