Wednesday, July 27, 2011

July is Really Exciting. Obviously.

Due to a lack of anything even remotely blog-worthy happening in my life, I obviously haven't felt very motivated to post anything.  But because I've got an hour to kill, don't feel like cleaning, and have apparently given up on showering altogether - here you have it.

-The other day my husband found a tick in the shower.  Which is what every wife loves to hear, really.  However, instead of flushing it down the toilet - my husband did what any genius would do, and put it in a cup with plastic wrap over the top.  I was 89% asleep when he told me about it, or else I would have probably brought to his attention that if a tick can burrow it's way into skin, ain't nothing gonna stop that little bitch from escaping plastic wrap.  And naturally, the next morning, I walked into the kitchen and saw a nice big hole in the plastic wrap where the tick had escaped.  So now I'm almost about 68% sure I'm going to contract Lyme disease.

-I'm about 93% sure we're going on a cruise in January with Shawn's family.  And my father in law is going halfsies.  Yahtzee.

-We apparently have a 5 year high school reunion in August, which I couldn't be any more unexcited about.  I can't decide which is worse, having to have the same exact awkward conversation with 200 people you never really talked with much to begin with (you know the one - "What's new?"  "Oh, you know, school and work."  Every. single. time.) or knowing that I'll be on the list of people who have gotten fat since high school.  I still see the people from high school I care to see on a fairly consistent basis - with the exception of a handful of people. I suppose I just feel like everything I need to know about everyone else I've seen on Facebook or read on blogs.  Does that make me a totally sucky person?

-Is anyone watching America's Got Talent?  We started watching it, and I love it.  My favorite guy?  Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.  Seriously, I love him.  I voted for him ten times last night.  And normally I don't take the time to actually vote for stuff like that.  He's pretty legit, and seems like such a down to earth sweet guy.  And if you haven't seen him, watch this.

Don't you just want to be buddies with him?!

-One of Shawn's pet peeves is that I put all our gross brown bananas in the freezer.  The other day he was making fun of the fact we had a stash of a dozen nasty bananas in our freezer.  So I bucked up and made 6 loaves of banana bread.  And I nailed it.  Moral of the story?  Keep brown bananas.  Even if your husband mocks you.  And also?  I can cook.

-I was told during training for my current job that I should expect to work weekends for at least the first two years before I'd be able to get them off.  We just bid for new shifts that are scheduled to start at the end of August.  And guess who got weekends off?  ME.  I pretty much feel like a Jedi Master.

-Back in March, the husband and I took a fun-filled trip to the dentist.  Beforehand, I had called to make sure that we'd be covered with the insurance I had.  She told me they accepted that particular type of insurance.  Great.  She put in all our information, had us pay a $50 copay and we were off.  About 4 days ago I received a bill in the mail for a whopping 400 and something dollars, with a post it note that said, "You had the HMO, we only accept the PPO plan."  The hell?  Am I completely off base for thinking it's totally unfair that we have to pay that now, after she told me we would be covered?  And it's my husband's family dentist that they've been going to since the beginning of time - so I don't want to show up and rip them a new one.  But seriously.

-I think I'm going through menopause.  I was at the in law's house the other day, playing a heated game of Phase 10.  And it felt like it was 9,000,000 degrees in their house.  Everyone else felt fine, of course.  My favorite part was when my mother in law blurted out, "Maybe you're OH-VULATING!!!"  Pretty amusing.  Thank you, for that.

-I have a new "calling" in our ward.  I was the Assistant Humanitarian something or other - you know, one of those callings that you're not actually set apart for, but they give you just to make you feel better?  Well, the main lady apparently moved, and I got a call from the Relief Society president asking if I'd like to take her place.  And obviously I couldn't say no.  So I get the box full of humanitarian crap stuff, and sort through everything.  We were going to be finishing up some file folder games for our activity that month.  I made flyers.  I bought Coconut Dreams.  I bought a chocolate mousse pie thing.  I bought sherbet ice cream and Sprite for drinks.  I melted chocolate, and bought strawberries.  3 people showed up.  Three.  I was a little bit frustrated, but extremely glad that my husband stayed with me and helped us finish.  (And by finish, I mean, we didn't finish, because there were four of us, and 907 million file folders.)  Moral of the story?  If there's a Humanitarian Activity, go.  Also?  Husbands, if you hang out with Relief Society ladies so your wife doesn't go crazy, you will get some.

-I get my flight benefits with other airlines starting in September.  And just in case you aren't grasping the full meaning of that particular milestone, it means I can take a round trip flight to Sydney, Australia for 175 bucks.  Boom baby.  I also get a raise in September.  September is going to be a swell month, I can just feel it.

And on that note, I should probably go re-discover the art of showering.

Until next time.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My Husband = BAMF

Remember when my husband mauled his ankle?  

Well obviously that wasn't going to keep him from the annual 4th of July 5k a few days later.  Oh, no.

It's only kind of humiliating that he still finished faster than I would have (which sure, isn't saying much - he probably would have finished faster even if had he been pushing himself, but still.)  

I'm sure the crap ton of people that Shawn and his older brother passed during the 5k wanted to punch both of them in the face.  No one likes losing a race to a dude in a wheelchair. 

However, if it's any consolation to those people - he still has a mean case of perma-cankle.   

My husband is a hunk.  

Perma-cankle and all.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Anxiety Issues Much, Toby?

And people tell me I'm not ready for the messes kids create.  Last I checked, 1 year old children chewing through baseboards wasn't too common.  Just saying.  

Bring on the disasters.  Anything a kid could potentially ruin, I can just about guarantee you my dog would ruin it eleventy billion times worse.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find where the mysterious dog urine smell is coming from.

Because my life is awesome like that. 


Saturday, July 2, 2011

Munchkin Cat

Our Friday night started with a little good-natured basketball game.

As the game was winding up a couple hours later, the boys thought it would be fun to play tackle basketball.  (Gold star if you know where this post is going.)

As I sat and watched my husband sprint down the court, I leaned over to the girl sitting next to me and said, "Someone is going to get hurt."  I also apparently failed to knock on wood as I said it - as about T minus 15 seconds later my husband was writhing in pain on the gym floor.  

I ran over to him to make sure he was okay, because I wasn't really sure what exactly had happened (wife points).  I knew it was bad when I heard him dropping some choice expletives in between his groaning and punching the floor.  Did I mention we were in a church gym?  

Anyways, apparently he had jumped and then landed on someone's foot, obviously rolling his ankle in the worst way.

He took of his shoe and this is what we saw...

Only kind of nasty. 

 In the midst of all of it, I kept hearing things like "Class 3 sprain," "...he needs to go to the hospital....", "I was on crutches for three weeks when my foot looked like that" from everyone around us.  So naturally I started to panic just a little bit. 

We got into the Jeep and drove to the local emergency room, where we then waited for about 17 years to see a doctor.  Shawn was surprisingly chipper after the initial 5-10 minutes following his fall (where I would have been drama queening the shiiiii out of the situation, had it been me).  By the time we got to the triage nurse, his pain was only a 1 or a 2.  But me being the overly paranoid person I am, told him we had to stay to make sure nothing was fractured.  Even if it meant paying ungodly amounts of money for x-rays and ER copays.

Our friends finally left, while we were waiting for a room for Shawn.  He and I apparently had a severe case of the slap happies, because we were cracking up at everything.  Which I'm sure irritated more than enough people in the waiting room, who all looked absolutely miserable.  Which makes sense, I suppose.  The ER doesn't exactly scream rainbows and puppy dogs.

We finally got called back to a room.  And my favorite part was walking past all the empty rooms.  Good thing we waited for 97.2 hours for room 48.  I don't think we could have accepted any of the other rooms.  We then waited in the room for another 20 minutes, and watched about 4 different nurses walk in and take crap out of our room.  As we continued to wait, we came up with the funniest diagnoses we could for what was wrong with his ankle.  As well as how we think the hospital staff would react to us making use of the empty bed in the room.  That was all probably more of a youhadtobethere kind of funny... So we'll just move right along.

The doctor finally got there, talked to him for 2 minutes, then took him to get x-rays.  After waiting for 15 more minutes, the doctor came back to inform us that his ankle wasn't fractured and that he just needed to stay off it for a few days and he would be back to about normal in 7-10 days.


Anti climactic, much?

My favorite part was when Shawn turned to the doctor and said, "So, what are the chances I can run a 5K on Monday?"  The doctor, missing every ounce of sarcasm that oozed out of my husbands mouth, just glared at him and replied, "No, that's not going to happen."  Easy, sunshine.

He handed us an Ace bandage and a pair of socks - and naturally I commented on how it was the most expensive pair of socks in the history of ever.  Not even a kind of smile.

(I've worked in an ER, and I totally get that it's stressful and depressing and whatever.  But if you have a happy patient, is it super hard to lighten up just a teensy bit?  Sheesh.)

All that said, I'm really happy it was nothing worse than a sprain - because Shawn doesn't do so well with sitting around doing nothing.  However, he's got himself a nice pair of gimp sticks and is doing just fine for now.  And it may sound totally weird, but I totally love him even more after this weekend.  Not because we were faced with a life or death ankle sprain or anything - but simply because of his attitude about the whole thing.  He was so happy the entire time, and even though I hated seeing him hurt - I loved every second I spent with him.  Just one more reason I hope our kids take more after him, or else we're gonna have a bunch of pansy children.

Hope your weekend was bodacious.
(And you can thank the gimp for that fun adjective.)


If Toby were a cat, tell me he wouldn't look strikingly similar to this...

Munchkin cats?!  Who knew?!

You are welcome for that random jewel.