Monday, February 6, 2012

Hi, I'm Chelsea...

...and I suck at blogging.

Which isn't to say I don't have about 17 half-started posts in my drafts.
Because, even if I'm exaggerating, I do.

But as I'm half-assing posts about Christmas, and about our cruise, and about my broken baby maker, I get bored.  And if I'm getting bored writing them - I'm not particularly sure how you'd be any less bored reading them.

Thus, I haven't blogged for a solid month.  I've 'Marked All As Read' on about 95% of the blogs in my Reader.  And skimmed the ones that usually entertain me. So uh, sorry

But in short, just in case you're dying to know...

Christmas was awesome.
I now own an iPhone, and Scramble with Friends is my new favorite time-waster.
And Bejeweled.
 I also own a Mac, which I still barely know how to use.
 Our cruise was a blast.
We went to Cozumel, Costa Rica, and Panama.
I'm pretty sure I contracted skin cancer.
My skin peeled for about a week afterwards.
And I'm still white.
We had a run in with the Mexican army, guns and all.
I think the only reason they didn't throw us in Mexican jail is because I'm so damn good-looking.
I finally went to a fertility specialist.
She confirmed my self-diagnosis of PCOS.  Pleasant.
She also gave me a picture of my empty uterus. 
Which is just as depressing as it sounds.
Even so, it's hanging on my fridge.
I have to inject myself with hormones with the biggest. ass. needle. I've ever seen in my entire life.*
And by 'I', I mean my husband.
My W2s for 2011 were pretty embarrassing.
Embarrassing as in, I almost made as much working for 3 months at my last job, than I did working for JB for 9 months.
My husband is really proud.
We named our cat Bob.
He just mastered the art of drinking out of the toilet.**
He and Toby are, at the very least, civil.
Toby hates when Shawn holds Bob. Or when anyone holds Bob, for that matter.***
Spoiled little turd.
Went to Shawn's grandparent's 60th anniversary.
Grandma gave a speech on how wonderful it is to be a mother.
I sobbed like a damn 2 year old.
I'm sure his entire family thinks I'm a lunatic.
Speaking of family, sister in law is leaving for her mission on Wednesday.
I'm going to miss her a bunch.
Which brings us up to today, where I'm about to go boost my metabolism with Jillian Michaels.
I'll only make it to the 2nd or 3rd circuit before I feel like dying.
I'm still trying to convince people that exercise-induced asthma is a thing.
Because it couldn't possible have anything to do with being in the worst shape in the history of shapes.

That is all.

Told you.

Yeah, there's poop on the side of the toilet.  Judge away.

Toby tries to sit on Shawn's lap if he's ever holding the cat. 

Happy Monday, yo.


  1. Chelsea- PCOS is hard. It's even harder when you're a member of a church/culture (let's be honest- Mormonism is a culture, too) that puts such an emphasis on motherhood. Don't get me wrong, motherhood is important and I love it, but to hear about it every week at church? Every conference? Every Relief Society social/broadcast/meeting/anything?

    IT'S HARD.

    This is like the last big black hole in our ability to be nice to one another, and nobody else sees it. Nobody knows unless they've been sitting there, crying their eyes out during the primary program because they are 99% positive that they will never have a sunbeam wave at them from the front row. (yes, speaking from experience)

    Good luck with your treatments, I really do hope it works, but remember that motherhood doesn't define who you are as a person or as a daughter of God.

  2. that is a HUGE needle! you are pretty effin' brave, especially to go to the doctor and start your treatments.

    so i have asthma. and exercise is one of my triggers. so you are correct, exercise induced asthma is a real thing!!!

    i would love to hear more about your run in with the mexican army. lucky for shawn he has such a gorgeous wife, eh? :) keep your chin up and i will be praying for you.

  3. I have something like 40 or 50 unfinished posts in my drafts. I don't think they'll ever be posted. I think I'm going to do like you and just post a one line summary of each, and just delete them.

    Also, I wonder every time I read your blog: Why do you write where everything is centered? It's unusual, and sometimes harder to read, but I just have to know why you do it that way.

  4. You're new cat is so cute! Good luck with the new medicines and needles!

  5. I had to look up PCOS. You can rock it. Jab away with that needle and have faith. Like you said earlier - it will happen. Patience sucks though - right? Just flat out sucks.

    And with that picture of Toby you've almost made me feel like he's the one in your family who's really hurting! Almost! It's so sad! Poor guy!