Thursday, April 5, 2012

Nasty Fur Carpet, Presents, and My Super Irritating Uterus.

So, it's been a good solid month since I've given you a real update and not just posted picture's of my husband's butt crack.  I keep meaning to blog - but when I'm this far behind, it seems a bit more daunting. Mostly because I have the memory of a 93 year old, and can't really ever remember anything.  But I'll do my best.

-Last weekend Shawn and I decided to be spontaneous and go to a Jazz game after it had already started.  We bought tickets from a scalper, and got probably the worst seats in the entire arena.  We played the Kings, and everyone around us would boo when Jimmer got the ball.  Not Shawn.  He'd cheer 'til he was red in the face.  We were on the very top row, so it's fairly needless to say that the entire section turned around and stared at both of us.  A little embarrassing?  Sure.  We lost by one point.  One.  I don't think I've ever been to a Jazz game where they've won.  It was still fun, in any event.

-We finally bought a new vacuum.  The vacuum we got when we got married has been worthless as far as picking up dog fur.  I could literally pull up handfuls of Toby fur in our carpet.  It was disgusting.  So it's safe to assume that I've never been more excited to vacuum in my entire life.

That was what came out of our carpet.  The first picture was just from my office.  The second one was from the rug in our living room.  Nasty, right?  I can't even begin to imagine how clean my house would be if we had never gotten a dog.  Or how many shoes I'd still own.  I digress.

-(Warning: About to talk about my period.  Run!)  Remember how I went on birth control to get rid of a cyst on my ovary?  Well, after about a week of stopping the birth control, I still hadn't gotten a period. She had me take a pregnancy test, which was obviously negative, and start 10 days of a pill called Provera, that's supposed to induce a period.  When I've taken the drug in the past, it's always done its job just fine.  The longest it should take to start is two weeks after the last pill.  Well, 15 days after the last pill, it still hadn't started.  So naturally I'm losing my mind at this point.  Obsessively peeing on sticks on the off chance that I somehow managed to achieve an immaculate conception.  I called my nurse and she told me I'd need to come in and get a shot of progesterone.  That was a nice fun surprise shot right in my butt cheek.  Luckily my ass is fat enough that it didn't really hurt much.  Oddly enough, I'm pleased to inform you that the shot did it's job.  And I don't think I've ever been more excited for one of the most annoying parts of being a woman to show up.

-For my birthday, my husband/family had gotten me something that wasn't ready on my actual birthday.  It was something I had been wanting to do for a while - and I loved that he remembered.  He got my wedding dress professionally sealed and stored.  Or whatever it's called.  This picture doesn't really do it justice, but it's awesome - and I'm really happy with it!  Not to mention, super impressed that they fit my entire dress into a box.

He also got me a corner desk for my office - because I kept whining about how small and dinky the one I already had was.

-Our anniversary is on Easter this year.  So in other words, I'll be working on my anniversary and Easter.  Which kind of bums me out, because I was kind of hoping to be able to fly somewhere, you know, because I can.  But it doesn't look like that's going to be happening.  Earlier this week I mentioned maybe we could go camping for a night, which is not something I suggest often, if ever.  Especially for an anniversary.  But then my period started, and ain't no way in hell I'm sleeping in a tent during those fun times.  So we'll think of something.  We're still waiting for our freakin' mattress we bought for our anniversary to show up.  We have our queen size mattress sitting on the floor in our king size bed frame.  Not only does it look ridiculous - but it's 100 times harder to get out of bed than you'd think.

-My Bob allergies are getting better.  I think a lot of that has to do with our new vacuum.  But I still get sniffles and sneezes every once in a while.  Him and Toby get along... alright, I guess?  They have their occasional squabbles, where we have to separate them.  But I'm thinking (and hoping) that it's all in good fun.  Observe:

I've realized that the last 5 or so pictures I've posted on Facebook, have all been of Bob.  And that's a little, if not totally, embarrassing.  Some day I'll have children to exploit on my blog and Facebook.  And by exploit, I obviously mean a much nicer word that I can't think of now.

-Speaking of Bob, he got neutered yesterday.  And usually when he's in our room at night, he swats at and bites our feet - but he cuddled with us the entire night last night.  Balls, who needs 'em?

-And speaking of exploiting people on the internet, I finally figured found out what my husband's limit is to what I can post of him on the internet.  I secretly recorded him bustin' out some Gloria Gaynor in the car, and it was priceless blog material.  And when I begged him for permission to put it on my blog - because yes, I ask him before I post incriminating pictures/videos/stories on the internet, much to probably everyone's surprise - he wouldn't budge.  He refused to let me post it.  I still have it though, even after he tried to delete it off my phone, and that's all that matters.  Leverage, baby. 

-I just watched the last episode of One Tree Hill ever.  And I'm a little bit depressed.  Nothing a few Coconut Dreams can't fix though.

After that last bullet, it's blatantly obvious that I've hit a wall.  I literally cannot think of anything blog-worthy that's happened since the last update.  And you know when I start blogging about TV, that I'm getting desperate.  I'm sure I'll think of stuff as soon as I hit 'Publish'...  You know, or I won't.  It's just whatever.

Happy Thursday, Internet.


  1. balls, who needs em?

    also, we bought a vacuum this week for the fist time (now that we have carpet) and i feel really old and lame being THAT excited for a vacuum. and the amount of fun i had using it... pretty much my life must be awesome vacuuming is so awesome i almost posted about it on facebook. ahhhh growing up right?

  2. I rarely comment, because I'm a lazy waste of space, but your blog is one of my favorites.

    I read other peoples blogs who have 40 million followers and they bore me to tears. When I read yours and you talk about infertility struggles, etc and remain hilarious it annoys me that you don't have 40 million followers. I don't either. I think it's because we rarely blog. Yeah, that's why.