For the record, I make absolutely no excuses for how random it's about to get up in hurr.
-The other day I told Shawn to buy a treat for us to munch on when he went to the store. He came home with a bag of the good chocolate chips so we could "make cookies." Who has two thumbs, did not make cookies, and ate half the bag of chocolate chips? This girl.
-I don't understand the context of the F word in some cases. Like, when someone is ticked off and tells someone else to go eff themselves... How is that a bad thing? IiiiiiiifyouknowhatImean.
-One of the several times I've driven to the fertility clinic with a cup of Shawn's "contribution" in tow, I realized that if I ever got pulled over for speeding, I'd have the best excuse on the planet. Because what cop is going to argue with a cup of sperm and a hormonal woman with an impending insemination? It's quite literally a life or death situation - those bad boys are only viable in a cup for so long. I'mageniusIknow.
-I bought a LivingSocial deal for a month of CrossFit. Because apparently I'm in the mood to make a complete ass out of myself. And then die.
-I kind of love when people "Like" my posts on Facebook - not just because it makes me feel super fantastic about myself. But because then I know who hasn't hidden me from their news feed.
-I signed up for Short Term Disability at work - so I can still get some money when I hopefully take a maternity leave someday. However, for it to pay out, I can't get pregnant until April. Which means I can probably just go ahead and plan on getting pregnant in March.
-I went to Red Lobster for I think the first time in my life. Because I'd pretty much rather swallow a stapler than most seafood. My favorite part though? The biscuits and broccoli. Oh, and the mashed potatoes. I'd totally go back just for that stuff. Because that makes sense.
-Once Shawn suggested that a phone app that starts preheating your oven would be helpful. To which I responded that, yeah, it would, until people started butt burning their houses down.
-I just got my "I Voted" sticker for the first time in my life.
And took a retarded picture. Because everyone's boob sticker pictures are boring.
-Speaking of being patriotic, I somehow manage to get the "America" song from West Side Story stuck in my head at least once a day for absolutely no reason. And if it's not that song, it's Taylor Swift's, "We're neverrrrr everrrr everrrrrr everrrrrr everrrrrr everrrrr everrrrr everrrrr everrrrrr everrrrrrr getting baaaaack togetherrrrrrrrrr" song.
-For the record, I'm totally kidding about the Taylor Swift part. I just really wanted to get that song stuck in everyone's head. Because now it will take you at least an hour or seven to get it out. Oh, and it's the worst song on the planet.
Happy voting day, yo.